FD only real form of online D/s (Full Version)

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payingoinker -> FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 5:57:19 PM)

Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.



RedMagic1 -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 6:08:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker
Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.

Online D/s has a 20-year history at this point. Online findom is much younger. Unless your friend was taking the position that all old-school online D/s was unreal, then she was overstating her case.

Also, thanks for the post, because I got a chance to type "old-school online D/s" for the first time in my life, and I am still grinning as a result.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 6:12:34 PM)

Preface: I'm not a findomme.

I think what's important is what YOU consider 'real', 'true', 'genuine', etc...be along the same lines as the person on the other end of the equation. You do realize, of course, that with a screen name like 'payingoinker' you're going to be a target for findoms? If that's your bag and it makes you feel good, more power to you. Just make sure you and the FD agree on the same terms so everyone gets their money's worth from your 'tribute'.

OP, have you been following the findom threads currently going? There are plenty of opinions there (90 pages or something like that.) Please feel free to join in. There seems to be a dearth of finsubs piping up on the FD threads, and lots of us would like to hear such a person's opinions/observations.




DarkSteven -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 6:18:33 PM)

Pffft. When I first started, I Dominated several women online and in some cases over the phone. No money exchanged.



Lisfor -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 6:20:02 PM)

I think the statement is overly broad.
If the findomme relies on the money to pay her rent and put food on the table, isn't the payer the one who has the power?
If the payer only gives what he wants to give, how is there any power exchange or control involved? It's just an exchange of goods and services.
On the other hand, there are findommes that do control the payer's finances completely, without the payer being able to decide anything about it.
I don't see what any of it has to do with "online" specifically though.



SeekingTrinity -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 6:37:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Pffft. When I first started, I Dominated several women online and in some cases over the phone. No money exchanged.


Same here and I didn't get paid either. Guess what I did wasn't real, OP? [:)]

I agree with MDA. Real, true, and genuine are very subjective terms. If it's real/genuine/true to you and your partner, that's all that matters.



DesFIP -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 7:44:13 PM)

Back before we met, when we were still just chatting online, I announced late one evening that I was going to run the trash down. He believed me doing that at midnight was unsafe and ordered me to sign back on when I returned, so he would know I hadn't been savaged by raccoons after the chicken carcass in the garbage. Or shot by drive by hunters or something.

And although I knew living up here in the woods as I do, that it's perfectly safe, I still did. I signed back on and alleviated his worries and concerns. So where is that not real? He told me to do something and I did it. And that's all that's required to make it real. He made a decision and I dutifully followed it out.



JeffBC -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 8:48:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker
Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.

So.... for instance... let's say that in an online only relationship I used whatever control I could muster to literally change someone's life top to bottom. In your opinion, would that be a "tangible exchange of power and control"??

I have no idea why people seem to struggle so with telephones but I certainly do not. Respect and trust can both be earned remotely. Serious life topics can be discussed remotely. Actual decisions about real and important things can be reached remotely.



GotSteel -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 8:55:26 PM)

Wait when did findom become real D/s?



HoneyBears -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/11/2013 11:12:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

Wait when did findom become real D/s?

*Pss-t, it isn't, but I did not tell you that.* [sm=whisper.gif]



crazyml -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 12:21:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.


Utter bullshit. I don't know who this someone was, but who ever they were, they were being fuckwitted.

Now, while there can be all sorts of debates about how "real" any online relationship is (I happen to think that they're real if both parties think they're in a relationship), if someone gives an order and someone submits to it, then it's as real as it needs to be.





sheisreeds -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 1:38:37 AM)

Amazon is the truest, most badass findom of them all then.



TNDommeK -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 2:43:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

Wait when did findom become real D/s?

*Pss-t, it isn't, but I did not tell you that.* [sm=whisper.gif]


....NM



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 2:53:18 AM)

If that's what you need to say to yourself to provide self justification, go for it.

But no, I do not agree in the least.

Many people have what I would call 'real' online relationships, it's how most people meet these days, and so most, kinky or not, meet on the internet.

Then they progress to the phone, possibly cam, and finally they meet in person. For most this is a matter of a few days or weeks.

Do I think it's a good idea to establish a strong power exchange relationship with someone you've never met? No I don't. But people do it all the time and as DS pointed out, many into BDSM begin this way.

How 'real' or 'true' the relationship is in terms of power exchange is going to be determined by the individuals, not by some random definitions floating around the interwebs.

I do think that online relationships where neither party ever plans to meet tend to be fantasy filled and have zero chance of long term success, but that's just me.







sunshinemiss -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 2:54:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Pffft. When I first started, I Dominated several women online and in some cases over the phone. No money exchanged.



Clearly, you're not real.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 2:57:53 AM)

A week and a half ago I told a boy to stitch my name into his heart. He stitched my name into his skin...over his heart, on cam, to make a tattoo. No money was exchanged. My opinion would be that whoever you heard that from is either very short sighted, very unimaginative, or is just fibbing to you.



KYsissy -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 3:51:48 AM)

You could take some photos of yourself in very compromising positions. Send those along with a list of email adresses of all your family, friends and coworkers. That sgould provide a bit if leverage with no money changing hands. But that is a different kink.



Apocalypso -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 5:53:13 AM)

It means she was an effective self-promoter, in a way I can only applaud.



dixiestar40 -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 7:00:08 AM)

I met my master online... started with chatting then proceeded to the phone and now we r living together.. Best decision of my life.[:)] My master is very happy with the way things are moving forward and progression is great in all aspects...



SeekingTrinity -> RE: FD only real form of online D/s (11/12/2013 8:00:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

Wait when did findom become real D/s?

*Pss-t, it isn't, but I did not tell you that.* [sm=whisper.gif]


For the record, no current or past involvement with financial domination myself...

You are certainly entitled to your opinion. However your opinion only makes it real or not real for you alone. It does not determine what is real across the board for others.



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