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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

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And this was the first date?

Good point, this is rather TMI for a first date.

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ORIGINAL: DomKen

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ORIGINAL: njlauren
It does raise questions, for example, what happens when a spouse has something like MS and becomes incapacitated? There is a famous example of that, Daniel Berenboim (the pianist/conductor) was married to Jacqueline Du Pre (famous cellist, an incredible one) who came down with MS by the time she was in her late 20s, and degenerated pretty rapidly, stopped playing at 27, and by the time she was in her late 30's was pretty much bedridden. Eventually Berenboim ended up in a relationship with another woman,but he stayed married to Du Pre and took care of her, he never abandoned her. Some would judge this, but he at least tried to make the best of a bad situation, so for me it would be hard to judge.

This came up from time to time while he was conductor of the Chicago Symphony. He married Bashkirova very soon after Du Pre died and has been, apparently, faithful to her ever since. He stuck with Du Pre for 20 years, married her in 1967 and she died in 1987, and has been married to Bashkirova ever since.

I think it says a lot about the man that he stayed with his first wife even though she could not share his life in any meaningful way the last decade of her life. That he sought physical intimacy with another woman when his wife could no longer share that with him is something some may condemn but I wonder how many would if put into the same position.

As to men leaving their wives during or after a major illness, sometimes the illness was the final stress on a relationship already in trouble. The rest of the time the man is simply shallow and the women is likely far better off.

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ORIGINAL: tj444

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ORIGINAL: DomKen

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ORIGINAL: njlauren
It does raise questions, for example, what happens when a spouse has something like MS and becomes incapacitated? There is a famous example of that, Daniel Berenboim (the pianist/conductor) was married to Jacqueline Du Pre (famous cellist, an incredible one) who came down with MS by the time she was in her late 20s, and degenerated pretty rapidly, stopped playing at 27, and by the time she was in her late 30's was pretty much bedridden. Eventually Berenboim ended up in a relationship with another woman,but he stayed married to Du Pre and took care of her, he never abandoned her. Some would judge this, but he at least tried to make the best of a bad situation, so for me it would be hard to judge.

This came up from time to time while he was conductor of the Chicago Symphony. He married Bashkirova very soon after Du Pre died and has been, apparently, faithful to her ever since. He stuck with Du Pre for 20 years, married her in 1967 and she died in 1987, and has been married to Bashkirova ever since.

I think it says a lot about the man that he stayed with his first wife even though she could not share his life in any meaningful way the last decade of her life. That he sought physical intimacy with another woman when his wife could no longer share that with him is something some may condemn but I wonder how many would if put into the same position.

As to men leaving their wives during or after a major illness, sometimes the illness was the final stress on a relationship already in trouble. The rest of the time the man is simply shallow and the women is likely far better off.

that is not the normal "cheating" situation.. and its probably the only time I wouldn't condemn him/a cheater.. that is similar to my friend that had MS.. but she died in only 3 or 4 years, bedridden for about 1 of those years.. her hubby started seeing another woman, and my friend knew about her (the three of them even went shopping together once).. my friends concern was not about his cheating, it was about what happens to her hubby (& their young son) once she is gone.. she knew she was going to die and wanted someone to take her place and take care of her family..

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Gender Divorce Gap After Illness Strikes
Study Shows Women With Cancer or MS More Likely Than Men to Become Separted or Divorced
Nov. 12, 2009 -- When faced with the serious illness of a spouse, men are far more likely to walk away than women, a study shows.

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ORIGINAL: sloguy02246
Honestly, the divorce statistics cited do not surprise me as I feel that men would be the more likely to "cut and run" during a spouse's medical crisis. In general, men have never been very dependable during medical crises (yes, there are exceptions).

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But my question is why a husband would openly state that his wife's sudden and involuntary lack of breasts is his reason for seeking an exit.
Is that a justifiable reason for a man to want his marriage to end?
I know that in some states the inability to have sexual intercourse is an acceptable reason for a divorce (for a man or woman), but should a double mastectomy also be an acceptable reason?

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ORIGINAL: TheBanshee

Without knowing these people at all I would also like to speculate on what might also have been a component.

When something like this happens, it may also become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not saying she did this but it may also have been someone who was always confident and expressive and comfortable in her own skin to someone who becomes a bit bitter, much less confident, insecure, and professing "how can you love me like this" attitude.

I had a friend who's husband had a serious injury and who had lost a leg. He became angry, mean-spirited, and blamed everything and anything for things not being easy for him anymore. When they divorced, it seriously wasn't because of his leg, it was the fact that he was completely different.

I'm not saying this was what happened, just trying to speculate from a different vantage point.