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Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 4:55:39 PM   
bbrent0


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		i've had my master for seven years when i finally convinced him he was too strict, more master, less friend supporter, like a mentor, which i felt i wanted. Well with his permission, i found what i thought could be more friend,i found a guy who i thought after i got to know would be a good mentor, but after the first two meetings he said he had to be my dom, chemically, that was how we were. Long story short, he got to know my master and became fast friends and now i have to serve both. Even i have gotten punished by both for the same screw ups. When i brought this delima up to my master, he says i will do as he says and not to embarrass him. i don't like serving two masters, but i did this to myself. my newest dom only comes to town maybe once a month. He spends the rest of his time caring for his sick dad in another state. He says and my master agrees it is a nice release for him and safe, so he doesn't have to go looking for a new person when he comes to town. He is a nice man, although i think he punishes too harshly at times, but Master says i am helping his frustrations and should be a good slave and quit whining. For the most part, i am ok with this, now going on three years. But i don't like double punishment/jeapardy. i have thought more recently about trying to reason with my new dom, but afraid of a backlash if he tells my master. Sometimes i feel i have his confidence. Should i risk reasoning or just suck it up?
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RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:10:40 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Look. You have two Doms, and you don't like how either one is Domming you. And you don't like having two Doms.

What DO you want?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to bbrent0)
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RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:13:10 PM   
bbrent0


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting. Never thought of it that way.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:27:34 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		What do you want most: to be a great chattel style slave, or to be in a happy fulfilling relationship with people you trust?

If your kink self-image is tied up with being a chattel type slave, then shut up, quite whining, and do what your told.
If it's not -as your post seems to suggest- and you're instead looking for a happy fulfilling relationship, dump both guys and find somebody actually compatible with you.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to bbrent0)
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RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:31:25 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbrent0

i've had my master for seven years when i finally convinced him he was too strict, more master, less friend supporter, like a mentor, which i felt i wanted. Well with his permission, i found what i thought could be more friend,i found a guy who i thought after i got to know would be a good mentor, but after the first two meetings he said he had to be my dom, chemically, that was how we were. Long story short, he got to know my master and became fast friends and now i have to serve both. Even i have gotten punished by both for the same screw ups. When i brought this delima up to my master, he says i will do as he says and not to embarrass him. i don't like serving two masters, but i did this to myself. my newest dom only comes to town maybe once a month. He spends the rest of his time caring for his sick dad in another state. He says and my master agrees it is a nice release for him and safe, so he doesn't have to go looking for a new person when he comes to town. He is a nice man, although i think he punishes too harshly at times, but Master says i am helping his frustrations and should be a good slave and quit whining. For the most part, i am ok with this, now going on three years. But i don't like double punishment/jeapardy. i have thought more recently about trying to reason with my new dom, but afraid of a backlash if he tells my master. Sometimes i feel i have his confidence. Should i risk reasoning or just suck it up?


Dilemma.

(in reply to bbrent0)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:33:34 PM   
bbrent0


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		i wondered about that.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:36:09 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Once upon a time, it used to be spelled "dilemna", but thanks to some barely-literate wonk at MS, it got changed because they never studied English.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:48:49 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Once upon a time, it used to be spelled "dilemna", but thanks to some barely-literate wonk at MS, it got changed because they never studied English.


Nah, it's always been "dilemma" from the greek "di" (two) and "lemma" (proposition). At some point somebody -incorrectly- adopted the "lemna" spelling and the error got so widespread that kids in several schools, in several different countries got taught the incorrect spelling.

The error has become so widespread that one could argue that common usages has turned it in a newly created valid alternative, but so far none of the major dictionaries have accepted it as a valid alternative to the correct "dilemma" spelling.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:52:33 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbrent0

Should i risk reasoning or just suck it up?


Neither. If the combo of these two men doesn't make you happy, let them go. You've certainly given it enough time.

(in reply to bbrent0)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:53:05 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		I would say dump them both. You are not a piece of meat to be passed around the dinner table. Double punishments? Sounds like real assholes to me.

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I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
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RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 5:55:38 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Once upon a time, it used to be spelled "dilemna", but thanks to some barely-literate wonk at MS, it got changed because they never studied English.


Nah, it's always been "dilemma" from the greek "di" (two) and "lemma" (proposition). At some point somebody -incorrectly- adopted the "lemna" spelling and the error got so widespread that kids in several schools, in several different countries got taught the incorrect spelling.

The error has become so widespread that one could argue that common usages has turned it in a newly created valid alternative, but so far none of the major dictionaries have accepted it as a valid alternative to the correct "dilemma" spelling.


Do you mean to tell me I've been living a lie all this time (or at least a terminal misspelling)? I...I need to sit down and take some deep breaths...

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 6:09:02 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm horrified. I've been spelling it wrong for years. And I was the class spelling champion in 7th grade. Hangs head in shame.

Look op, the new guy is a playmate you found. If you don't feel right taking orders from him, tell him that. Tell him you don't want to play with him anymore. Yell red if he decides he can do it anyway.

But you aren't happy with either dude, so why have you stayed in the relationship this long? That's the important part.
Live by yourself, figure out what you need to be happy, and what you cannot tolerate. Work on your own issues including why you take stuff for years that makes you miserable. Why do you believe you don't deserve to be in a satisfying and fulfilling relationship?

Then look for a new partner, not before.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 6:09:43 PM   
directiveerror


Posts: 128
Joined: 11/17/2013
Status: offline 		.. it sounds like you've been duped. that the second started shifting slowly is a good sign that he never planned to play the mentor role to begin with... he was looking for an in. are you sure that they didnt already know each other? that is a classic good cop/bad cop set up and it just sounds like they are trying to prep you to take it farther.

(in reply to bbrent0)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 6:11:56 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman



Do you mean to tell me I've been living a lie all this time (or at least a terminal misspelling)? I...I need to sit down and take some deep breaths...


Yes, you should turn in your mastercard now that you have been proven to be capable of error, and live out the rest of your life burdened by the shame of your perpetual failing.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 6:13:28 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 6:14:37 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm horrified. I've been spelling it wrong for years. And I was the class spelling champion in 7th grade. Hangs head in shame.



Like I said, it's a super common error, to the point that there are several instances on record where high school and college level English instructors have passed on the error to their pupils. This is how new words (and spellings) were born before we tried to standardize language, so one could argue that it's the dictionaries who are wrong by not accepting it as a valid alternative spelling.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 6:22:37 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Isn't this kind of a dilemma of your own making?

You have a long term relationship with one master and never communicated to him whether or not he was meeting your needs... and finally you did... sorta.

He allowed you to try and fill in whatever gaps you had with someone else in a friendship-mentor capacity and then that person put a claim on you.

You could have said no, btw.
You could have said, that you have a boundary which is that you already have a master to serve.

So, now because you couldn't articulate what you wanted and do't know how to establish healthy boundaries you find yourself in the situation in which you are less than happy... again.

In my opinion, your relationship skills suck.

Maybe you should take a break from relationships until you get some counseling and A) figure out what you want, B) learn how to express it clearly and C) find a partner you are compatible with.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to bbrent0)
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RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/17/2013 7:24:30 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbrent0

i wondered about that.


S'wut I do.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/18/2013 5:56:20 AM   
bbrent0


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		my relationship with my master has always satisfied me and still does. He is just not a talker and he likes it quiet. i love him and love being his slave. i wanted a friend who i could talk with, share things with. i always take a sub role in any relationship, not my choice, just what i am. So, a mentor was my way of finding someone to be friends with and talk with, who knew my dirty laundry and my real life, someone i didn't need to lie about what i was and the lifestyle we lived. Before i met Mr Clen in person, my master talked with him and they set ground rules. The light was green to have a good friend/mentor. When Mr Clen changed his mind, he talked with my master. i didn't get to choose. i think my master liked him and felt sorry for him about his condition. i think my master thinks of it as giving charity and i have found Mr Clen mostly a good guy, but he is a Dom. i want to thank everyone for their feedback. i've decided that i should suck it up and quit complaining. i like them both, despite the two times i was double punished. i deserved the punishment and it was an embarrassment to my master. Double punishment does suck, but if i get it, i will have deserved it. Thanks for your feedback, everyone.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Delima serving two Doms - 11/18/2013 6:37:49 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		There are so many red flags here it's hard to count them all. It sounds like your master chose to punish you for wanting a mentor/friend by turning that friend into another dom with the right to punish you.

You say you didn't get to choose about this change, what does that mean exactly? Did you voice concerns that your master didn't address? Or did you keep quiet and go along with the program thinking that's what you had to do? Do you think your master would have gotten angry or distant if you had questioned this *major* change in dynamic?

Being doubly punished sounds like a huge misuse of power to me.

What do you think Brent? Please spend some time contemplating these questions.

Your instinct is to suck it up and quit complaining, but I'm not sure your instincts are in your best interests on this matter. Let's face it, you have some huge reservations about the whole thing, or you would not have started this thread.







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