IMS and chastity

IMS and chastity (Full Version)

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SomethingCatchy -> IMS and chastity (11/19/2013 10:35:38 AM)
IMS, or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man (or male sheep...) is having what seems like classic PMS symptoms. quote: External factors that can cause testosterone levels to fall include certain forms of medication, poor diet, excessive alcohol consumption, illness, lack of sleep, lack of sex, stress or surgery. Has anyone that has engaged in male chastity noticed a moodiness that coincides with the beginning of chastity or being put into/putting someone into it after a (random) amount of time out of it? After reading the article and several stories/articles found on google, I've decided that this might be what I'm dealing with when putting someone in chastity and having to put up with the most obnoxious, rude, hurtful behavior. I'd like some input on what others think, good or bad or neutral about the idea of it.

evesgrden -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/19/2013 12:44:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy IMS, or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man (or male sheep...) is having what seems like classic PMS symptoms. quote: External factors that can cause testosterone levels to fall include certain forms of medication, poor diet, excessive alcohol consumption, illness, lack of sleep, lack of sex, stress or surgery. Has anyone that has engaged in male chastity noticed a moodiness that coincides with the beginning of chastity or being put into/putting someone into it after a (random) amount of time out of it? After reading the article and several stories/articles found on google, I've decided that this might be what I'm dealing with when putting someone in chastity and quote: having to put up with the most obnoxious, rude, hurtful behavior . I'd like some input on what others think, good or bad or neutral about the idea of it. Putting up with it is a choice. I certainly wouldn't. And if I was getting hurtful behavior I'd be showing them the door. I sure as hell don't put up with emotional blackmail and that's essentially what you're getting. If you have something to say to me, say it straight up but any bitchy pouty obnoxious responses to something that I want is absolutely unacceptable. In fact anyone with those characteristics as a means of getting their way would never get the chance to do it more than once. Reader's Digest Version: What you permit, you promote.

DesFIP -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/19/2013 2:36:08 PM)
If the guy doesn't respond well to long term chastity, then why do it? And would milking the prostate help? With that said, I get bitchy if I don't eat at regular intervals. Anybody who would show me the door instead of agreeing to stop for lunch isn't someone I would want to be with.

SomethingCatchy -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/19/2013 5:05:33 PM)
Chastity is something he wants, and I'm interested in. However, it could very well be just a fantasy that he's only into in his head, and too immature to be able to communicate that. I don't consider a few days milking worthy. I haven't gotten past a week with him. We've tried three times. I'm 100% positive I will not be doing it ever again with him, but the idea that his attitude toward it and me and himself could possibly be a hormonal thing he can't control intrigued me. I'm always looking for possible answers to questions that stump me.

angelikaJ -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/19/2013 5:17:49 PM)
I think bitchiness (going with the PMS theme) can sometimes be anxiety driven. And if the chastity is for a non-specific duration that might cause issues with anxiety. When I had shingles, it wasn't the pain that was the main problem; it was the fact that there was no way of knowing when it would end (or if it would) and that made me plenty anxious and I became plenty bitchy.

SomethingCatchy -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/19/2013 5:55:50 PM)
That is a good point, angelikaJ. I hadn't thought of that before, and it's worth talking about.

littlewonder -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/20/2013 7:05:34 PM)
meh...I don't really believe in the excuse of pms as a way to act bitchy....it's a choice in how you act. Use self control. The same would go for IMS as well.

evesgrden -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/21/2013 6:01:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP If the guy doesn't respond well to long term chastity, then why do it? And would milking the prostate help? With that said, I get bitchy if I don't eat at regular intervals. Anybody who would show me the door instead of agreeing to stop for lunch isn't someone I would want to be with. Hurtful, obnoxious and rude behavior isn't something I tolerate and I wouldn't expect anyone in my world to tolerate it from me. Language is a wonderful tool and if you can't be candid with someone with whom you have an intimate relationship then discomfort is trivial compared to the big picture of how much trouble there is in that relationship. Hurtful, rude and obnoxious -- on a predictable basis. WTF? This is a locus of control issue. "you make me so angry that you make me (fill in your favorite unpleasant/ugly/rude/obnoxious/assaultive behavior here)". How many abusive parents/spouses have used that as their rationale. My behavior is my responsiblity. You can make me as angry as you like. A cop can piss me off. Customs can make me miss my flight for a funeral. What I say, what I do in response, is on me. Do I fuck up, hell yes. But if that happens I am backpedalling so fast and making things right... which means taking a problem solving approach. As I said in my previous post, it means being straight up about the problem. OP, tell him to say "Look, this is a problem for me, and here's why (or I'm not sure why, but this a real problem for me)". If you blow off something that's a problem for your partner beware that that can have a cumulative effect over time to the point that he won't put up with it anymore. Be careful of going to that well too often. But if instead you allow your partner to be hurtful to you as a means of communicating this, or as a means of wearing you down so you'll change your behavior, well that's your choice.

RedMagic1 -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/21/2013 6:04:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy Has anyone that has engaged in male chastity noticed a moodiness that coincides with the beginning of chastity or being put into/putting someone into it after a (random) amount of time out of it? After reading the article and several stories/articles found on google, I've decided that this might be what I'm dealing with when putting someone in chastity and having to put up with the most obnoxious, rude, hurtful behavior. I'd like some input on what others think, good or bad or neutral about the idea of it. Aakasha has made some great posts related to male emotion drop in chastity. Here's one. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2851132

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/21/2013 11:57:42 AM)
Moodiness is common with any and all forms of orgasm denial, with all genders. I'm big on female orgasm denial, and many of the women I talk to about it (including myself) have a couple of weeks of grumpiness at the start. I very much doubt it is a lack of testosterone. Like quitting anything that one enjoys, it is liable to make a person irritable for a while. Orgasms are no different.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/21/2013 5:17:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy IMS, or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man (or male sheep...) is having what seems like classic PMS symptoms. quote: External factors that can cause testosterone levels to fall include certain forms of medication, poor diet, excessive alcohol consumption, illness, lack of sleep, lack of sex, stress or surgery. Has anyone that has engaged in male chastity noticed a moodiness that coincides with the beginning of chastity or being put into/putting someone into it after a (random) amount of time out of it? After reading the article and several stories/articles found on google, I've decided that this might be what I'm dealing with when putting someone in chastity and having to put up with the most obnoxious, rude, hurtful behavior. I'd like some input on what others think, good or bad or neutral about the idea of it. Lemme think here....one second...sorry....I'm trying to formulate my thoughts..... So....there's a guy who's had his dick locked up....and you're wondering if the guy may get moody in the process of not being let out....or being let out over some level of prolongated period of time? Is that the actual question? ('cause....I'm thinking this is either the Twilight Zone.....or just someone with an IQ of a paper cut, asking the actual question).

DesFIP -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/22/2013 8:07:29 PM)
Are you telling him how long it will be so he isn't worrying about a month or six? And are you giving positive reinforcement. IE "I know this is difficult. I'm proud of you for taking it for me. I know you can take two more days. That's my good boy". Because you've taken something pleasurable away so he may need some other positive thing in exchange. Like praise.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/24/2013 9:33:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy Chastity is something he wants, and I'm interested in. However, it could very well be just a fantasy that he's only into in his head, and too immature to be able to communicate that. This sounds like the answer to me. I am a male sub, and forced chastity is something that I enjoy and have lots of experience with. What I find it that many (most?) guys who fantasize about forced chastity can't deal with the reality of it. quote: I don't consider a few days milking worthy. I haven't gotten past a week with him. We've tried three times. Whenever I hear about a man who can't go a full week in chastity, I assume that he was/is a habitual masturbater. Men who get their sexual satisfaction from an actual woman (rather from their own hand) usually don't have a problem with going a week without sex. We're used to going without sex for a week each month due to a woman's period. But serial masturbaters have no such experience. They jerk off unrelentingly. I'd be willing to wager that your sub masturbates quite frequently. quote: I'm 100% positive I will not be doing it ever again with him, but the idea that his attitude toward it and me and himself could possibly be a hormonal thing he can't control intrigued me. If he can't behave in a sensible, submissive fashion, then you shouldn't allow him to enjoy chastity play again. There's no excuse for disrespect, rudeness, and insubordination. BTW, I think you're giving him too much credit when you blame his bad behavior on hormones. He's an adult. He can control himself if he wants to. He simply has to learn to take the focus off of his penis, and place his focus on pleasing and serving you. But it takes time and training for some men to reach that point. So you have to ask yourself "how much bad behavior are you willing to tolerate?" If you think that chastity play is going to be an ongoing part of your relationship, then you have to be patient and train him to behave better while in chastity. One way to train a male who is in chastity is by using the chastity as the punishment. For example, since he seems to hate chastity, next time you put him into chastity let him know that each time he misbehaves you are going to add 2 days to his chastity. Eventually, he will realize that his fate is in his own hands, and he should start behaving better. Good luck to you.

RedMagic1 -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/24/2013 9:43:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy I don't consider a few days milking worthy. I haven't gotten past a week with him. We've tried three times. Something occurred to me. Men masturbate for lots of reasons other than "milking" themselves. To feel less lonely, to be able to focus on work, to fall asleep faster, to feel sexually important to someone (themselves). Maybe you could/should step up your provision of those things if you take away his ability to provide them for himself. For example, extra attention, especially sexual attention that doesn't lead to ejaculation. Petting, ass play, telling him how sexy he looks. As well as opportunities for him to perform sexually without getting off, like worshiping your body. I agree with RochSub's assessment of the guy's relation to masturbation. It sounds a bit like addiction withdrawal. So, basically, if you want to chastise the guy, you need to be prepared to supply the methadone.

SomethingCatchy -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/24/2013 1:37:00 PM)
Great feedback, everyone. I do give him time periods. I'm goal oriented. I've also used it as a punishment, warning that I would add time and then actually adding it. His behavior became increasingly negative. He never says anything mean spirited or treats me 'badly' but it's almost as if he starts to get fussy like a teething toddler (not to call him a baby, he's not). When I ask him what's going on he'll say something like 'my brain isn't working!' and become upset. It definitely has tested my patience, and it reminds me of how I felt when I was having severe hormonal fluctuations that were completely out of my control. I couldn't rationalize my behavior, either.

angelikaJ -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/24/2013 1:52:00 PM)
It could be biochemical without it being "hormonal" in the traditional sense. Perhaps the head-space of chastity is such that it is screwing (no pun intended) with his brain chemistry. That is not logic based either.

evesgrden -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/24/2013 3:04:46 PM)
quote: He never says anything mean spirited or treats me 'badly' You started this thread saying that he was bitchy, rude, obnoxious and hurtful. Is that the case or not?

littlewonder -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/24/2013 3:24:50 PM)
He's locked up and so now his attention is on his cock and sex. Of course he can't think. He's frustrated and pent up sexually. For most men, that's pretty normal, typical.

SomethingCatchy -> RE: IMS and chastity (11/26/2013 5:43:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: evesgrden quote: He never says anything mean spirited or treats me 'badly' You started this thread saying that he was bitchy, rude, obnoxious and hurtful. Is that the case or not? Yep, definitely the case but he never says anything mean. It's his actions. I'm one of those people that's super sensitive to intention, inflection, body posture, body language, tone of voice, AND to top it all off I pick up on 'vibes' and emotion extremely easy. Spending time around moody people is my worst nightmare. It's completely draining and yes, it is hurtful when their attitude is moody because of me. I can't turn my awareness off, so the way people feel, react, or think affect me to a point all the time. He also hasn't actually treated me badly. He hasn't yelled, hit or threatened me, or lost his composure to the point that I can't deal and walk away. I have had to correct him, verbally, when he's gotten upset but he has calmed down immediately. That's what I meant when I said what I said.

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