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jlf1961 -> I have been informed what my problem is.... (11/20/2013 5:55:12 AM)
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I had been exchanging messages with a nice subbie on the other side who, after a couple of weeks decided she needed to point out the fact that I am a loser.
Now I initiated contact because of her repeated instances in her profile about the importance of family.
Now here are her points of evidence of my loser status.
1) I am buying a house with my sister, both our names are on the mortgage.
2) I let my sister have the master bedroom after she got married.
3) I let my niece move in when she renewed her relationship with my sister after 15 years of refusing to concede her mother's existence on the planet.
4) I "go looking" for excuses to increase my expenses.
5) The people I claim as family that live with me are not actually related by blood, and therefore I am letting them use me financially etc.
Okay, it is true that the woman I call my sister is not related by blood. She was my mother's in home caregiver before my mother passed away from complications arising from her having MS. She helped my mom in ways I couldnt, such as bathing, getting dressed, etc. She was my mother's constant companion, friend and my mom caller her "my daughter."
When my mom was in the hospital after a major heart attack, she asked Tami to look after me, I had just been diagnosed with bi polar disorder and mom knew that I went into suicidal depression under extreme stress, not to mention ptsd.
This of course means that my "niece" is not really my niece, and although she contributes financially to the house, I am still letting her live here for next to nothing, and since I watch Damian on occasion, she is using me for free baby sitting.
Then the "look for reasons to increase my expenses" is related to the fact that I am willing to travel "god knows how far" to go rescue "just a dog" that I have to "feed" and take care of vet bills.
Now when Gizzy, Tami's daughter started a relationship with tami after being estranged for so long, her father disowned her. The father's day cards, christmas cards and birthday cards she sends him come back "return to sender." When Tami's other daughter started talking to tami, he did the same thing to her.
Gizzy has Damian calling me "pop pop" since I am one of the two men in his life that are like fathers.
Gizzy and Crystal make sure that I get at least a card on father's day, birthdays, and they go out of their way to get me something for christmas. My son dumped his wife, took off cross country and did not even return my call when I left him a voice mail about my surgery last week. My daughter only contacts me for money or a place to crash when she gets evicted or her husband kicks her out, other than that I dont see her or her kids at all.
My sister by blood calls infrequently at best, and only to make sure I am alive, and to tell me about her and her husband's latest material acquisition. Big deal, he brings in an income in the high six figures, who cares? I dont need a 7 bedroom home, a boat, three cars, imported furniture etc.
My father disowned me when I enlisted in the army, although I do send him father's day cards, since that was my grandmother's last request of me.
Funny thing, I dont feel like a loser. I am surrounded by people who care about me. In my own way, I am doing no less than St. Francis when it comes to animals. I have a home that I like, I am building a home on some other property that I own at my own pace and as I can afford it.
But hey, I could be wrong.
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