jlf1961
Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
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Some friends of mine, young, inexperienced, first vanilla marriage have come to me with the following situations and questions.
Do not believe a woman when she asks "What's wrong?" tell you to tell them how you feel.
As soon as you open your mouth, as calm as you might be, she is going to get pissed off because whatever it is that has you upset is of course your fault. It does not matter if this person has been making comments on your driving, what you are eating, or have been constantly complaining to you about what someone else did to piss them off.
Keep the reply short, "Nothing." women do it to us all the fucking time, play their game.
If a woman gives you a grocery list and one item is "Pumpkin Pie stuff" and you never bake pumpkin pies, she is setting you up to screw up. Get a complete list of what is considered pumpkin pie stuff.
Now remember when you get in a relationship with a woman, there are a few things you should know right off the bat.
"Of course" means whatever you said you were going to do is the wrong thing to do, and as soon as you do it, you are completely fucked and your day has gone down the toilet.
If they also roll their eyes, suicide is a viable option if you decide leaving the planet is too expensive.
A deep breath taken behind you when you are doing something means you just fucked up, beyond fixing it, and although she wont tell you what you fucked up, you will pay for it, in most cases for about a month.
If they say nothing is bothering them, it means something is indeed bothering them, and whether or not you caused it, your life is going to be miserable.
It dont matter if you are an alpha male or whatever, unless you take action after saying "I do" and make damn sure she knows you are in charge (using a ball gag, shackles and leg irons is a good start) you will never be doing anything but walking on eggs wondering when the next incident is going to set them off.
The experts say that men traditionally want to fix things, it is true. However, trying to fix whatever pissed off your wife is going to be impossible, you have a better chance at getting the US Legislature to work together and actually compromise, or winning the lottery, or getting hit by a meteor.
If you are young enough, join the military, the navy is real good at keeping couples apart, so is the army if you are in a combat unit, and the president gets us in a war. I am not sure if the Air Force still does TDY deployments for a few months at a time, you might want to check that out. Of course the French Foreign legion is still recruiting and after five years you get french citizenship.
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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?
You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.
Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI
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take it from an old geezer... - 
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