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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: The desire is MIA (11/26/2013 12:35:02 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: azproperty
It has been owned since 2005 by its Owner/ Master. But it has noticed in the last few years that she does not care about spending any time training or playing or anything. She would rather watch TV or play games on her IPhone then correct it for things that it has done or not done to her standards. It sleeps in a closet locked to a chain in the wall to its collar and its feet locked to a chain in the opposite wall. It puts on the required sleep wear, cuffs itself and locks itself in every night then clips the keys to its collar so it can release itself when it needs to. Master/she does not lock it in or check it or control the keys. It feels like its doing its own training and does not have an Owner/Master that the tattoos on its ass cheeks say it has.
Can anyone help it understand what is happening ?
sbj
I do not confuse being a service top with Ownership. (If it pleases me to watch tv and play Pokemon games on my 3DS...then my boy had better find something else to do or I WILL ignore him.) I know his wants and needs. This doesn't mean he's going to get everything he wants or that his wants will take precedence over my needs...even if my needs are...to merely decompress and relax in any way I see fit.
If she is busy watching tv and playing games on her phone, and isn't catching you at all of your mistakes...if SHE is not correcting you, how do you know that you have messed up?
Are you messing up deliberately to force her to "punish" you? Have you considered that her ignoring you is her way of not rewarding you for deliberate disobedience by giving you the funishment/attention you want.
I don't know how long you're been with your Master, but you sound...new to being Owned, as in...caught up in all the details of kink that push your buttons and make you weak in the knees, feeling upset and neglected if every last detail of your kinky wants aren't being met.
My need for D/s is greater than my need for kinky playtime. There are many times when my boy is hungry for bondage or a good beating and I would rather have a new mug of hot tea while getting a foot bath and pedicure. (This is when he has to deal with some disappointment while I'm sipping my tea, etc.)
Locking someone up at night is hawt. However, I have no intention of being woken up several times per night to unlock my slave so that he can be excused to go to the bathroom. He's a morning bird and I'm a night owl who really likes her sleep...so...I make him sleep on the couch (he snores) so that my own sleep is better. He's okay on the couch, if he wasn't I'd make him get another bed and sleep in the dungeon. If anyone gets up in the middle of (my) night, it's going to be my slave. After a bathroom break I might want him to follow me back to my bed (a water bed) to fix the blankets so that I don't have to.
If my feet happen to get cold while I'm watching tv, I might require him to lie down on the floor in front of me so I can warm my toes on his belly or ass.
I might even beat him when I'm not in the mood to get my own groove on, but again, this is about ME. (My desire to manipulate his brain chemistry.)
How he treats me, his desire to learn many ways to become more pleasing to me, these things are what inspires my hunger to dominate him and do all kinds of kinky things to him.
Inspire her with your good service. (Do not confuse making her keep the key for your locks as...being of service to HER.) Your idea of service and her wants and needs might be two different things, and each of you will need to decide if this relationship is what you want. IMHO, this should have happened before the tattoo was granted...I made my slave wait a year after his collaring before giving him his slave number and having it tattood onto his body.
Talk with her. She's a person first, your Master second.
It took me a year and a half to discover that my boy needed to have a very intense scene, where he is screaming his lungs out for about half an hour, to give him a good reset on his brain chemistry. The change would only last for about three weeks and then he would need another long, hard session. Myself, most of the time, I prefer shorter scenes of less intensity, so he has to be very patient to get what he wants. When he's hungry for this, and yet does something that crunches my headspace...I tell him when he's just dumped a bucket of cold water on me.
Part of my job is to train him not to be annoying or to piss me off, or cool off my erotic sadist libido. After explaining each issue as it comes up, I will correct him if/when he doesn't know that he's had an oops. He's been trained to shut up when talking if...I interrupt him with, "You're digging yourself a deeper hole."
Each of us are different. If her desire for you, or for kinky with you, is waning, then find ways to fan her flames. With me, it's through his "sweet little ways" of deference, obedience, and service. Find out what she needs from you.
Does your Master require you to talk/type in third person? If so, it has messed up it's profile in several places and needs to make corrections. If you are speaking/typing in third person when your Owner doesn't require this from her property...then I view what you're doing in your post...as using us to get your groove on (mental masturbation). I'm having a hard time believing that there's so much focus on "training" after a supposed 8 year long relationship. This feels like a first year relationship type issue. If you have been talking/typing in third person for many years, I feel that you should be very good at it by this time. My apologies if I am reading this the wrong way.
Good luck to both of you.
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