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Real or not? - 11/26/2013 1:45:34 PM

johnsk

Posts: 40
Joined: 9/2/2011
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So many Dommes who I message on Collarme never respond, or else they do, and act as if they are at least mildly interested. So you reply, giving more information, and in most cases it stops there. Other times, it gets to the next stage where you plan to meet, and so often these meetings are cancelled. Have others had the same experiences again and again ?? I do not come on strong , ask for a picture and phone # etc right away... only down the road if she seems open to it. I know nobody wants to feel stalked. Another thing that has happened, you message someone with whom you seem to have a lot in common, they reply once maybe twice, they they just disappear, are not seen anymore. i wonder what gives?

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 1:46:42 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Magic.

Welcome.

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 1:48:06 PM

VideoAdminRho

Posts: 2055
Joined: 3/24/2010
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Since this is not an Introduction, this is now in Off Topic.

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 1:58:00 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

If they don't maintain contact, then they simply aren't that into you...OR they might have been talking to others and chose another person whom they feel is a more desirable match
.
Most people have similar experiences to yours. I've heard from a lot of people (both subs and Dominants) who've gone to great lengths to rearrange their normal schedule to make time to meet, and sometimes drive long distances, only to be stood up.

Just keep searching. It's all you really can do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

So many Dommes who I message on Collarme never respond, or else they do, and act as if they are at least mildly interested. So you reply, giving more information, and in most cases it stops there. Other times, it gets to the next stage where you plan to meet, and so often these meetings are cancelled. Have others had the same experiences again and again ?? I do not come on strong , ask for a picture and phone # etc right away... only down the road if she seems open to it. I know nobody wants to feel stalked. Another thing that has happened, you message someone with whom you seem to have a lot in common, they reply once maybe twice, they they just disappear, are not seen anymore. i wonder what gives?

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 5:11:35 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

You don't keep their attention. They are bored.

Try a little harder to keep their attention. Talk about something other than how you want to get off. Maybe find something to talk about like what they have written in their profiles, something you have in common other than bdsm.

If you can't write more than "hi how are you?", I delete your email. I may be nice enough to respond once but if by the second email you don't have anything more than that to say, then you get no response back.

Try not being so boring.

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 5:20:16 PM

Anuser

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/14/2013
Status: offline

Could be that they're inundated with messages and yours just didn't stand out.

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 5:43:03 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
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Oh, and this reminds Me...we Dommes really DO get tons and tons and TONS of messages...we get really busy reading letters and checking out profiles, and sometimes a good conversation gets LOST among all the others, even if it's a sub we LIKE. (I've misplaced few this way in fact). Another thing, if you don't have ANY pic (it doesn't have to be of YOU, but at least something that stands out among all the others) you are sure to get lost in the crowd, especially if you have a name similar to umpteen other hopefuls.
There is nothing wrong with writing to Her and asking, "Are you interested in continuing?" or "Remember me?" CollarMe has a lovely feature that lets you see if someone has actually READ your message.
Don't forget to add Her to your Favorites, and also send Her a friend request.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anuser

Could be that they're inundated with messages and yours just didn't stand out.

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 5:46:05 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm a female Dominant who does not respond to at least 95% of the first contact emails that I receive. (First contact meaning there has been no email exchanges before.) I even have it listed in My profile that I am only interested in receiving email from only people from the forums, those who are local to Me, or that I already know. (I've met a number of people from all over the country who are on the site, so I don't send folks to bulk mail just because they aren't close geographically.)

Except for those categories, most of what enters My email isn't of the slightest interest to Me. A person new to the location that is looking for munch information? Sure. I'll answer that. Person looking to hook up? I'm probably not going to answer that. Doesn't mean I'm not a real person. It means that the email that I receive doesn't necessarily interest Me.

ETA

quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS
Don't forget to add Her to your Favorites, and also send Her a friend request.

This just goes to show how women have different points of view. Personally, I do not like the presumption of a person sending Me a friend's request just because I've exchanged a couple of emails. That's not enough for Me to know if I consider you a "friend" or not.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 11/26/2013 5:49:09 PM >

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Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Real or not? - 11/26/2013 6:05:48 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

You don't keep their attention. They are bored.

Or they are men masquerading as dominant women, and to go further means their jig would be up.

Be patient, bring your A game (humor goes a LONG way), and in time you will make a significant connection. Also, do not limit yourself to the web. Get involved with your kinky community. Best of luck, enjoy the journey!

(in reply to littlewonder)

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