Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: The December RC


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: The December RC Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: The December RC - 12/9/2013 7:31:13 PM   
PheonixRose


Posts: 748
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

I'm sorry, LL, that it's turning out that way for you. So sorry. Sometimes relatives suck.

I just got some good news today!! I retired early from nursing but, recently, I've been applying for work again. A former employer of mine called me up today and, at first, I didn't recognize his voice because it had been so many years. He asked me if I was still interested in working for him and I said "YES!!!" So he will be getting back to me with a time for me to come in and train on the the new machines. It will be retail job, which I've done before, and I'm really excited about it!!

NBMG


I'm happy for you NBMG. glad that you managed to get another job to support your way of living instead of being stuck with ssi or something small that disappears with in a few days of receiving it.

Hope you have fun and enjoy it till you cant no more.

_____________________________

Blessed Be,
Pheonix Rose

SLAVE OF CÆRGOWEN OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE

COLLARED JAN. 3RD & HAND FASTED JAN. 7TH OF 2009

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor pg 75

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The December RC - 12/10/2013 9:54:43 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I admit it. I posted because I needed sympathy and support. I'm grateful that I know I can come here during difficult times and get those virtual hugs, support, and wise words.

I'm trying to focus on the positive. The "family" that welcomes me "home" whenever I need them. That family was built on love not blood. One of them is a disabled woman over 50 who has lived in group homes for thirty years. At some of my worst moments I remember her phone call shortly after leaving following Thanksgiving. Her and I haven't spent as much time together and the nature of her illness makes her a bit difficult; to manage , to get to know. She was recently swithed to a new group home and was struggling with the change. Temper tantrums being her favorite. I had sat and talked with her after one during the holiday visit. Anyway, she called and I answered the phone. She told me how she missed me already and asked, you'll be home for Christmas right?" Even now, just remebering her saying that brings a smile to my face.

My other positive is that will hopefully be traveling back to Germany in the fall of next year to meet my new "neice"
."," the new baby of my other best friend.

Not lots of positives, butt the ones I got are amjorly good.

(in reply to PheonixRose)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The December RC - 12/12/2013 9:43:41 AM   
PheonixRose


Posts: 748
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		LL do the best you can to stay positive. I know its hard sometimes but the true things that are good for you will come out and be there when you truly need them.

Other than that i have a celibration announcement. I am officially a straight A and B student. this weeks grading turned the C into a B :D here goes to hoping for an A by end of term :D

_____________________________

Blessed Be,
Pheonix Rose

SLAVE OF CÆRGOWEN OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE

COLLARED JAN. 3RD & HAND FASTED JAN. 7TH OF 2009

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor pg 75

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The December RC - 12/12/2013 12:22:11 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		WooHoo!! Congrats on all the As and Bs, PhoenixRose!!

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to PheonixRose)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The December RC - 12/12/2013 12:48:08 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PheonixRose

Other than that i have a celibration announcement. I am officially a straight A and B student. this weeks grading turned the C into a B :D here goes to hoping for an A by end of term :D


Congratulations! Keep up the good work!

(in reply to PheonixRose)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The December RC - 12/12/2013 1:18:02 PM   
PheonixRose


Posts: 748
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		Thanks ladies.

yea im proud of my self because this was my first term back in school since i gave birth to my little chipmunk and im doing fairly good with it at this time.

Hows everyones 2 weeks till christmas going?

_____________________________

Blessed Be,
Pheonix Rose

SLAVE OF CÆRGOWEN OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE

COLLARED JAN. 3RD & HAND FASTED JAN. 7TH OF 2009

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor pg 75

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The December RC - 12/12/2013 4:28:06 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		OK, folks, that Denny's Discount is now a reality! Gotta head over to the other side and change that number!

(in reply to PheonixRose)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The December RC - 12/19/2013 6:07:46 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Well...Mom's present did not get shipped off so I got a refund and I 'ran' to a jeweler on eBay to order sapphire earrings and pendant. Yesterday I got the necklace (it is hard to shop for your mom when she is hanging around you until you shoo her away to pharmacy to get some laxatives).

Yesterday, I found some Thomas Kinkade jigsaw puzzle of Disney themes. I am not paying $10 though.

I know I am getting more Passion perfume. That is all I ask for and I know Mom has shoes hidden somewhere. My mattress cover came in and Mom agree that it is a Christmas present as well (I start paying for it next month).

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The December RC - 12/21/2013 2:39:16 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		~FAST REPLY~
So, my relationship with my son is officially over. Yesterday, he sent me a text telling me what a scumbag I am, and how any number of other women who "helped" him in his life were more a mother to him than I was. I was told I would never see my granddaughter again because he didn't want me to "ruin" her life like I ruined his.

Right now, I feel no love for this child that came out of my body, and quite frankly wish he would get hit by a bus. I have a psychological report that I'm going to send him which indicates he is is narcissistic and sociopathic with psychotic tendencies. Not that he will understand the multi-syllabic words, but it will make me feel better.

He has reached a point where there is no forgiveness. There will come a time when he will need my help and I will slam the door in his face.

Now I just have to get used to having no child, and learning to exist as though he were never born, which he shouldn't have been.

Harsh? Yep. But enough is enough. I don't come from the school of believe where you forgive your child every transgression and cruel thing they do. I bailed him out of trouble with my connections MANY times, and he remains ungrateful.

Some people are better off dead. Him and his "fiance" (although she refuses to wear a ring), are among those types of people.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The December RC - 12/21/2013 11:32:22 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		LL I understand what you are feeling. My son is not a nice person and has caused me a tremendous amount of grief. I've not been allowed to spend any real amount of time with his sons in nearly two years. Simply because I stopped playing his games and called him on his bullshit.

BUT....sending him that report, continuing to spew the poison, will ultimately come back to bite you in the ass. At the very least it will only reaffirm his feelings about you and why you should not be allowed around his child/ren. The best thing you can do for yourself, your grands, and everyone else is to start acting like a mature adult and leave it alone. Stop trying to be......the One that is Right. End your part of the back and forth. And most of all, let go of the anger, vitrol, and poisonous hatred you are harbouring. It's not going to help you or your cause (the desire to see your grand). It may feel justified in the moment but big picture, it's immature and damaging.

I'm not being cuntish, just speaking from agonizingly painful experience.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The December RC - 12/21/2013 11:35:25 AM   
PheonixRose


Posts: 748
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		FR~

LL i am sooooooooooooooooo sorry that you are having to go through this.


as for me im getting a week to play catchup around christmas for school so yea my hands are full and im also dealing with a sick UM as well as myself feeling over heated. the weather around here isnt being nice so my whole family is going through some sort of illness.

i wish all a blessed yule season and happy new year.

See yall in 2014.

_____________________________

Blessed Be,
Pheonix Rose

SLAVE OF CÆRGOWEN OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE

COLLARED JAN. 3RD & HAND FASTED JAN. 7TH OF 2009

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor pg 75

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The December RC - 12/21/2013 11:59:57 AM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		LL-
I am sorry about the situation with your son, unfortunately I know what that kind of situation is like, though in my case I was in your S's position, if with differing circumstances. In my case, it led to estrangement from my birth family a lot of years ago, a lot of unhealthy family dynamics coincided with a time of a lot of stress, led me into therapy and into trying to protect my own family, and unfortunately it wasn't a happy outcome in many ways (on the other hand, looking at the person my son has grown into, I don't regret what I did, only that my siblings couldn't understand it).

My only thought to you is try not to slam the door shut, as bad as it is right now, as much as he has hurt you, he is still your son, albeit one you (not surprisingly) feel like he has abandoned you, etc.....and slamming the door might feel good, but take it from me, it can hurt down the line. That doesn't mean you have to forgive him, expect to be a doormat for him, or if he gets into trouble taking him in with open arms and saying all forgiven, that would be unwise and self disrespecting. What I am saying is keep a part of your heart open, that if he seems to come around and understand that why you have reacted as you have, what he did to you (or tries to acknowledge it), that there always is some hope of forgiveness and reconciliation. Obviously, it won't be "that's okay, I forgive you", it would need to be real, with him acknowledging the things he did wrong, and if there are things you regret, acknowledging those, to make a new relationship. It would have to be one with boundaries and healthy interactions, of course....keep in mind that as fouled up as he may have been, he probably also sees things in you he feels are fouled up, it is the nature of these things, and if you can keep that in mind, that he might see things in a way you don't, that might help keep the door open to reconciliation.

Like I said, I am living with that kind of thing, haven't seen or talked to my siblings in a lot of years, and they have missed my S growing up, and it does hurt, and there is still anger, and unfortunately, attempts I have made at trying to form a new relationship get pushed back with basically that they want the old one, that in effect I say I am sorry, grovel, and of course they have nothing to do with it.....so it isn't easy. But having that hope, as small as it is, makes it a little less painful:). It has to hurt, and my only suggestion is if you have a counselor or pastor, they may be great to talk to this about, it helps.......

(in reply to PheonixRose)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The December RC - 12/21/2013 12:05:50 PM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		I am off for the rest of the year *yay*, after this year, this week + is going to be heaven from work that literally could kill someone with stress....

The good news is our S is home from college, and it is nice to see him, after the angst of the past year, that he is happy and confident, he has settled into the school and found his place (he was overwhelmed, uncertain he was at the same caliber as the other kids in his music studio, etc), and it is great to see..and unlike many college freshman, he didn't put on weight, he actually lost some more and looks very lean:).

The other good news is my spouse and I have made a serious attempt at changing our fitness, we both have been doing targeted strength training, and also have cut sugar and grains out of our diet (the grains is a temporary thing, will be limited, but in it), and have learned to eat healthy. I have lost close to 30 pounds, but more importantly am seeing my body start to look a little toned, and same for my spouse. It takes time, this is not a diet or a lose weight quickly (or even about being primarily weight loss), it is about getting to a place neither of us has been, even really. Hopefully it will also help remediate some of the creeping effects of age:). We have a nice grass fed roast for Christmas Eve dinner, and will be visiting friends for Christmas, so should be good:)

(in reply to njlauren)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The December RC - 12/22/2013 2:46:42 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

LL I understand what you are feeling. My son is not a nice person and has caused me a tremendous amount of grief. I've not been allowed to spend any real amount of time with his sons in nearly two years. Simply because I stopped playing his games and called him on his bullshit.

BUT....sending him that report, continuing to spew the poison, will ultimately come back to bite you in the ass. At the very least it will only reaffirm his feelings about you and why you should not be allowed around his child/ren. The best thing you can do for yourself, your grands, and everyone else is to start acting like a mature adult and leave it alone. Stop trying to be......the One that is Right. End your part of the back and forth. And most of all, let go of the anger, vitrol, and poisonous hatred you are harbouring. It's not going to help you or your cause (the desire to see your grand). It may feel justified in the moment but big picture, it's immature and damaging.

I'm not being cuntish, just speaking from agonizingly painful experience.


Actually, LT, this is the least cuntish I have seen you be and I appreciate your advice.

However, I have given up trying to even deal with him. I've blocked him from my phone, facebook, etc. The damage he was doing to my mental health was becoming far too much. It's difficult to admit, but his treatment, lies and cruel statements were pushing me to the brink of suicide.

I appreciate you sharing your pain experience.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The December RC - 12/22/2013 2:52:28 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Lauren,

I have ALWAYS appreciated what you have had to say. Perhaps years from now, when he comes knocking on my door (if I still live in the same place), I might give him a chance. I can't imagine anything crueler than the things he has said recently. As I mentioned to LT, it pushed me to the point of suicide. Obviously, the pain of his words, and lies were much more than I could take.

Open door? The door needed to be shut for my own safety. Until he can manage to get some help for himself and that "fiance" of hers, where they learn that people deserve respect, honestly and basic courtesy, there is nothing they can do for me to forgive them. I don't like to hate anyone, and frankly, I don't hate them. I pity them. Their lives will never be successful, they will always be angry, just now they will have to direct it toward someone else.

(in reply to njlauren)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The December RC - 12/22/2013 3:40:00 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		So now it is time for some GOOD news from me. I have a friend I've known for about 16 years, along with her two boys. I don't talk to my friend as much as I do her son, but that's ok. They are like family.

Well, today, Terrance (the older son) told me that DYFS had taken custody of his little brother (17, 18 in February), and his mother was missing for two months. I was shocked. Terrance is naturally concerned about Eric, his brother, but also concerned about being evicted from their apartment. He was getting ready for work, so I didn't get a lot of info initially.

I did tell him that worrying about a roof over his head and food in his stomach is not something to worry about. I may only have a couch to offer, but it's his as long as he wants/needs it.

Then I began the phone calls, and FB posts. Went to Mary's page, and sent messages to essentially everyone I know was her family. Told them what was going on and asked for help. Very soon, her aunt wrote back, gave me a little info, then I spoke more with Terrance. Called the police in the town they live, got a little more info. Called the town where Mary was last seen (nearly shot the phone because of the automated operator!) Well, I finally just kept pushing numbers, not caring what department. Mayor, tax collector, whatever. Finally, I got a real person, who happened to be the patrol supervisor. He was really nice and told me she was picked up on the 20th of December and taken to the hospital.

Terrance is very angry because following her husband's death last year, it seems she developed a crack cocaine habit. Her younger son developed a marijuana habit. Terrance wants custody of his brother (Terrance is 24 and qualifies for kinship care). I located the hospital, and although they wouldn't give me any info, they did connect me to her room (no answer).

Contacted the juvenile facility where Eric is, and will be talking with his social worker tomorrow to find out who is child advocate is, whether CASA has been involved and what it is going to take to get him out.

So, today, I did something that gave me joy. And in the end, I may have two young men living with me. Replacements for my son? Yes, I'm not too dense to not realize that. But I have loved these boys as my own for 16 years, and I can actually do some good.

Oh yea, and an aunt has a brother, cousin, something who is a lawyer licensed in NJ. He does estate law, but I do family, and the possibility of working together definitely exists.

So while Christmas is no my favorite time of year, I got to help people I care so much about, and regardless of how bad it may sound, might have myself a new family.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The December RC - 12/22/2013 5:16:22 PM   
PheonixRose


Posts: 748
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		well LL sounds like you are still going to be able to do some good for someone before the year is out. Its nice to see that you can have a positive impact on someone when they need it the most.

_____________________________

Blessed Be,
Pheonix Rose

SLAVE OF CÆRGOWEN OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE

COLLARED JAN. 3RD & HAND FASTED JAN. 7TH OF 2009

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor pg 75

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The December RC - 12/22/2013 5:41:16 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		It's how I spent my life. The only person I couldn't do any "good" for (at least in his view) is my son.

(in reply to PheonixRose)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The December RC - 12/23/2013 10:43:13 PM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Lauren,

I have ALWAYS appreciated what you have had to say. Perhaps years from now, when he comes knocking on my door (if I still live in the same place), I might give him a chance. I can't imagine anything crueler than the things he has said recently. As I mentioned to LT, it pushed me to the point of suicide. Obviously, the pain of his words, and lies were much more than I could take.

Open door? The door needed to be shut for my own safety. Until he can manage to get some help for himself and that "fiance" of hers, where they learn that people deserve respect, honestly and basic courtesy, there is nothing they can do for me to forgive them. I don't like to hate anyone, and frankly, I don't hate them. I pity them. Their lives will never be successful, they will always be angry, just now they will have to direct it toward someone else.

LL-
I hope you didn't take my response to mean "leave the door open and let him bang on you", that is far from what I meant. As with my case, it sounds like your son is totally toxic in his relationship with you, and the first rule of all this is to protect yourself, pure and simple, and I would never, ever suggest it was your duty to 'leave the door open' so he could roll all over you, that is what I did far too long with my birth family, and I damned nearly lost my own little family because I didn't..and believe me, I also know how much you must have been pushed to have to slam the door like that, it doesn't come easy to a parent, so again I would never, ever say "oh, you have to keep trying". I simply meant that it is easy to say things like "they are no longer my son" or in my case "they are no longer my siblings", but those feelings will still be there, and simply that if by some weird thing your S gets his head out of his ass, don't let the bitterness prevent maybe a miracle happening....:). But it is also why I said if it does happen, it has to be sincere, it has to be a reconciliation, a new relationship, otherwise it would be the same old crap...and as I noted, because my siblings refuse a new relationship, I am still not in touch with them....so I understand.

And when I said forgive him, mostly I worry abut you and hurting yourself, things like this can eat at you, but then again, I have my own demons, not so much my siblings (though I have my issues with them), but there is someone who committed many transgressions against myself and my spouse,and for that I don't think there can be forgiveness, so I acknowledge personally it is easier said than done......hopefully you have friends, and you mentioned you belong to a church, most pastors are trained in pastoral care and might be a big help.....Again, I hope it didn't sound like I was saying "oh, you have to keep the door open to your son", I wasn't, I was saying simply try to keep the option open in case something happens, never is a long time:).

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The December RC - 12/26/2013 2:29:58 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Ok, for some reason, the quote feature is not working right for me at the moment, so bear with me. The good news is I am actually visiting a friend for the holidays so I have an internet connection, and don't have to try to type from my phone!

Lauren, I NEVER take things you say in a derogative manner. You might remember, we emailed privately for a while. You are one of the kindest people I know who always does her best to give good and objective advice. You are one of my favorite people here!

Yes, my son and his girlfriend are toxic. Not just to me, but really to most people. Basically, as long as everyone is doing what they want, giving them what they want, then they are happy little brats. But say no, have your own opinion or don't offer to go without so they can have, then all hell breaks lose.

You're right, it took a LOT for me to finally slam that door. Basically when I kept getting the canned, "busy now. call back later" texts, and the broken promises and lack of respect, I was reaching my limit. When they not only couldn't bother to call and thank me for the gift I sent to my granddaughter but told her it was from someone else, I lost it.

What will I do should that miracle happen and his head falls out of his ass? I honestly don't know. He has a LOT of mistakes to make up for and a lot of changes in behavior before I could let him back in my life. Sadly, my granddaughter is collateral damage to that, however, I think as she gets older, they will find that their previous behavior is bound to make her more and more difficult to handle when she begins to act like them. She has already exhibited a lot of the bade behavior they show in front of her. It's sad, really.

Yes, I did belong to a church, however, they turned out to be very different than what they appeared (think cult and charletons), so I don't attend anymore, although my faith in God is still quite strong.

So now my focus will be on this young man who has been like family for many years. It's funny, we talked and it seems as though God finally decided to answer me and put us together to help each other get through some difficult times. I've smiled more in the past two days than I have in weeks. When all this went down with my son, I felt no sense of purpose. Since becoming disabled, and not working at the career that was my bliss, I really didn't have anything. "T" is kind of giving me a sense of purpose. He was so devastated when his grandmother (who was really "Mom") to him, and now realizing that his grandmother raised him because his mom was battling drugs back then, I understand the dynamics much better. He needs someone he can count on, and I need someone who cares about me.

We've talked quite a bit the past couple of days about our plans, and each time we "sign off," he tells me he loves me and is so glad to know he has someone who will be there for him. It's been a VERY long time since anyone has told me they love me or I felt someone loved and cared about me. I knew it hurt not to have that in my life, and I knew I missed it, but I didn't realize how much.

So right now, I feel really great for the first time in a long time. I can't guarantee everything will work as planned, but we've talked a lot about how we are both going to do our best for each other.

What more could I ask for right now? Oh, except to have like endless cash, lol.

(in reply to njlauren)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: The December RC Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094