njlauren -> RE: The December RC (12/26/2013 10:00:03 PM)
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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Ok, for some reason, the quote feature is not working right for me at the moment, so bear with me. The good news is I am actually visiting a friend for the holidays so I have an internet connection, and don't have to try to type from my phone! Lauren, I NEVER take things you say in a derogative manner. You might remember, we emailed privately for a while. You are one of the kindest people I know who always does her best to give good and objective advice. You are one of my favorite people here! Yes, my son and his girlfriend are toxic. Not just to me, but really to most people. Basically, as long as everyone is doing what they want, giving them what they want, then they are happy little brats. But say no, have your own opinion or don't offer to go without so they can have, then all hell breaks lose. You're right, it took a LOT for me to finally slam that door. Basically when I kept getting the canned, "busy now. call back later" texts, and the broken promises and lack of respect, I was reaching my limit. When they not only couldn't bother to call and thank me for the gift I sent to my granddaughter but told her it was from someone else, I lost it. What will I do should that miracle happen and his head falls out of his ass? I honestly don't know. He has a LOT of mistakes to make up for and a lot of changes in behavior before I could let him back in my life. Sadly, my granddaughter is collateral damage to that, however, I think as she gets older, they will find that their previous behavior is bound to make her more and more difficult to handle when she begins to act like them. She has already exhibited a lot of the bade behavior they show in front of her. It's sad, really. Yes, I did belong to a church, however, they turned out to be very different than what they appeared (think cult and charletons), so I don't attend anymore, although my faith in God is still quite strong. So now my focus will be on this young man who has been like family for many years. It's funny, we talked and it seems as though God finally decided to answer me and put us together to help each other get through some difficult times. I've smiled more in the past two days than I have in weeks. When all this went down with my son, I felt no sense of purpose. Since becoming disabled, and not working at the career that was my bliss, I really didn't have anything. "T" is kind of giving me a sense of purpose. He was so devastated when his grandmother (who was really "Mom") to him, and now realizing that his grandmother raised him because his mom was battling drugs back then, I understand the dynamics much better. He needs someone he can count on, and I need someone who cares about me. We've talked quite a bit the past couple of days about our plans, and each time we "sign off," he tells me he loves me and is so glad to know he has someone who will be there for him. It's been a VERY long time since anyone has told me they love me or I felt someone loved and cared about me. I knew it hurt not to have that in my life, and I knew I missed it, but I didn't realize how much. So right now, I feel really great for the first time in a long time. I can't guarantee everything will work as planned, but we've talked a lot about how we are both going to do our best for each other. What more could I ask for right now? Oh, except to have like endless cash, lol. LL- It sounds like you have found something that my therapist tried to tell me, that sometimes the family you make is a lot more of a family than the one you are born into. It sounds like you have found a surrogate son in T, and he a mom in you, and that sounds like a very caring, sweet relationship that is growing into a family. I have a friend I consider more a brother than my 'real' brother, because we share a lot of things and care about each other and show it in many ways. My own sense of spirituality and the universe says that often when a hole is left, the universe will fill it, that God or however someone sees the divine seems to hate a vacuum. You and T seem to have found each other at the right time, and that is wonderful, I am glad for you (and for him). Take it one day at a time, accept what God is giving you, and I think you will find something special. And yeah, there is nothing wrong with asking God if maybe, just maybe, the wheel of fortune hits you, once in a while *lol*.
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