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in need of some advice - 11/18/2004 7:07:19 PM

MasterJsslave

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Joined: 11/14/2004
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For a long time i have known that i was submissive/slave. i have found a wonderful Master who treats me well when i'm obediant and punish's me when i need it. which lately seems to be alot.

my situation, i have this problem about taunting Him. W/we are both new to this lifestyle, basically just in it for the last few months, so W/we are still in the training aspect of it.

Would appreciate some sound advice from other Masters on how He/i could get me past this soon.

Thank You

MasterJsslave...aka...slave g

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/18/2004 9:50:18 PM

MasterScorpious

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I would first ask are you Real Time?

Master Scorpio

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/18/2004 9:52:24 PM

Lordandmaster

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If he doesn't like it, he has to find out a way to make sure it doesn't happen again.

You can't really help him with that, although you could obviously cooperate by refraining from taunting him. But if he wants it to stop, it's up to him to figure out how to make it stop. He's the dom, after all.

Lam

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/18/2004 11:15:54 PM

Estring

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How the hell is he a Master after only a few months? I would taunt him too.

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/19/2004 6:04:16 AM

happypervert

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Looks to me like he only *thinks" he's punishing you or maybe you actually like it. So he needs to try something that is effective.

Of course, that only deals with the taunting, but you haven't mentined why you are taunting. For all we know he is a complete dork and you are calling him a dork; in such a case there isn't much he can do to eliminate the root cause of taunting . . . maybe he should just keep you gagged until the lesson sinks in.

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/19/2004 9:12:55 AM

ManicVortex

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It sounds to me like you are bored, wanting attention, or more flare to the lifestyle. If he is new to this lifestyle as well and even if he isn't, open and honest communication is important.

The fact that you are asking for advice tells me you are pretty serious about this. Alot of confidence a Master has comes from the power you give him.

You both need to have patience with each other as you grow in the lifestyle. If you are truly submissive to him and can be open and honest, you need to find out what his ideals and expectations are. It sounds like you both have different views.

I hope he is open to talking about it.

But yes, it's important to know whether it's an online relationship or a RT relationship as well.

Another thing I might suggest is be careful that your not trying to measure yourself up to other people's standards in this lifestyle. You have a unique relationship with your Master. cherish it if you love him and have patience while it grows into something robust. But communication again is most important.

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/19/2004 7:01:21 PM

MasterJsslave

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Dear Sirs,

Yes W/we are Real time. He is not a dork either.W/we have known each other for a bit over a year, however several months ago He found out how much i wanted to be in this lifestyle and took over the role of my Master/Sir/Dom.

However I must say since my posting W/we have done alot of communicating and have gotten to know what E/each other needs from the O/other. Looks like my taunting days are over or yes i will be gaged for a long time.

Thank You Sirs for the advice.

and ManicVortex, a special Thank You for being a bit more explicit.

slave g

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/19/2004 9:10:56 PM

MasterScorpious

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For future reference....a set of chopsticks on tongue for a short period of time will do wonders for a slave that has a tendancy to stick her tongue out. Rather than going with a gag you might be more effectively disciplined with an electric dog collar...anti-barking type

Master Scorpio

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/20/2004 11:16:07 AM

Voltare

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

How the hell is he a Master after only a few months? I would taunt him too.

We all have to start somewhere, don't we?

Stephan

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/20/2004 12:14:00 PM

willing2serve

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I am so glad this post is here. I too am new to the lifestyle and have several bad habits of teasing and playing. If I really like someone, I will push, pull, bite, pinch, slap on the bottom in a teasing playful way. I think it comes back from the playground syndrome, when a little boy likes a girl he will pull her pigtails...maybe that is when I began liking the hair pulling (smile). I recently have been meeting with a Dom that my playful "lust licks" is not acceptable. I first noticed this when I popped him on the derriere with a towel..immediately his jaw tensed up. Fortunately, he realizes I am new to this and I didn’t have to pick myself off the floor that time, but in all seriousness I do know this type of teasing annoys him...How can I break these habits as well, especially the biting and pinching. Btw, loved the chopsticks on the tongue idea..I am terrible about sticking my tongue out, however I have seen times of improvement in myself, but that occasional bite, pinch or pop will rise to the surface..

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/20/2004 9:15:36 PM

MasterJsslave

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Master Scorpio

Thank you for the advice. as much as i really dont like the idea, i will pass it along to Him for i'm sure he might just do it.

Willing2serve, its nice knowing that someone else has a few bad habits as myself. i have been working real hard these past few days to break them because if i dont i have been warned that my derrie is going to become crimson again.

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/20/2004 11:19:21 PM

Suleiman

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There is a related topic the mistress' forum regarding dealing with SAMs that you might want to check out.

You two are still working on your personal dynamic together. I suppose the first question is, does your top enjoy it when you act like a smart-ass? Some do, some don't. If he does, make it a part of your game, part of your ritual. Establish that this is your signal that you want to be tied up and punished. When you've gotten enough attention, you can let him know by quieting down and behaving yourself. Make it absolutely clear that this is part of how you and he play, and clearly establish what the signal is supposed to mean.

Make sure that you both have safe words in place. Why both of you? A lot of folks forget, or don't realise, that the top some times needs to stop the action too. If you're really pissing him off, he can use his safeword to stop the scene, rather than losing his temper (one of the big safety rules is to never play when you're drunk, stoned, or angry. Having your judgement compromised in a situation of bondage or torture is just not a good idea). This also lets you know that he's not playing any more, and you seriously need to quit whatever it is that you're doing.

If this isn't something that your top enjoys, I'd suggest something along the lines of a "time out". The behavior you're describing is typically a bid for attention, so sitting in the corner is a pretty effective means of reinforcing the idea that this is not how you get attention from your top. Make sure you get plenty of positive reinforcement when you've been good, and I'm willing to bet that you and he will have something more like the dynamic you both are looking for in no time.

Remember the three Cs of any relationship - communication, commitment, and compromise. Talk about what you both want from each other, and what dosen't seem to be working. Make a commitment to each other that this is going to be a priority (and make that commitment stick) - this does not nessisarily mean that you two are required to be monogamous, by the way, that's something that needs to be agreed upon like any other facet of your relationship - and if you can't agree on some particular point, try to reach a compromise. Maybe he dosen't like it when you're being a smart-ass, but some times you just can't help it. So agree that, if you're feeling particularly "frisky", you'll warn him accordingly, and he can decide if he's in the mood to deal with it or not.

Remember, you two are stil forming the basis of this relationship. You've got a lot of discovery ahead of you. I wish you well on your journey.

~S

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: in need of some advice - 11/21/2004 3:50:09 AM

MasterJsslave

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Sounds as if you know my Master and i personally Suleiman. That is exactly what is happening with Him/i. W/we do have safe words and i do quit when i hear His.
He knows that i do it for the attention, and boy do i get it once i have pissed Him off enough, then He knows that i'm good for a few days.
He has asked me to let Him know when i'm feeling a bit "frisky" but sometimes i forget to, He will play along with me for awhile but then here comes the safeword and by that point i have crossed the line, and out comes the discipline items.

Thank you for understanding the situation and certainly the good advice.

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