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massage - 12/5/2013 8:38:34 AM   
iLoveDommeWomen


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/1/2011
Status: offline 		was just wondering.... if a woman acquaintance asks for a massage. Is she flirting or cockteasing or just that she fancies you?

but what if after the massage she goes kind of awkward?
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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 8:41:49 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		And what if that massage has NO sexual connotations at all... Just a massage??
You seem to be reading sexuality into something which doesn't necessarily imply anything sexual.

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 8:41:55 AM   
anothernameforme


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/5/2013
Status: offline 		maybe she just wants a massage

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 8:49:25 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		It entirely depends on the context. When I was at the ashram, we did non-sexual massage exchanges all the time. However, we remained clothed. I wouldn't get naked for a massage with a member of the opposite sex unless:
1. It was foreplay
2. He was a certified masseur or a massage student

But, then, I have good boundaries.

I can't speculate about what was in her head unless you give a lot more context.

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 10:26:56 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

was just wondering.... if a woman acquaintance asks for a massage. Is she flirting or cockteasing or just that she fancies you?

but what if after the massage she goes kind of awkward?



There's as many different answers to that as there are women in the world. You'll have to ask her.

I'm going to say probably not 'cockteasing' though. Cockteasing implies a malicious intent, that she's going to lead you to believe you will get sex and then cut you off at the last minute out of spite. It's actually a horrible word, when you think about it, because it suggests that a woman who changes her mind about sex is a bad person. Especially when you consider the guy in question could easily have misunderstood her intentions and she maybe never wanted sex in the first place.

Usually when I ask for a massage it's because my shoulders are sore. Hope that helps.

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 11:08:41 AM   
lovethyself


Posts: 1818
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		I'm with Athena. I will usually only ask for a massage if I actually need one for sore muscles. I trade massages with my mom OP, if that gives you any context for how not sexual they can be. That's not to say that they can't be sexual, just that the reasons can be anywhere along the spectrum of sexual/non sexual.

Your best bet is to talk to her.

I had a friend that would give female friends shoulder massages, and then work his way around to the front, supposedly to work on the pecks, but really it was to subtly cop a feel and see how far he could push things. I would seriously not recommend doing this if you value the friendship, as it definitely cooled our friendship off and gave me creepy vibes from him.

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 11:09:34 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

was just wondering.... if a woman acquaintance asks for a massage. Is she flirting or cockteasing or just that she fancies you?


Why does there have to be an ulterior motive? Believe it or not, when I ask himself to rub my back or neck....it's because it's sore and it gives relief.


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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 11:11:43 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

was just wondering.... if a woman acquaintance asks for a massage. Is she flirting or cockteasing or just that she fancies you?

but what if after the massage she goes kind of awkward?



If you are not willing to speak to her about the subject, you're probably best on making the assumption that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.


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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 11:21:16 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovethyself

I had a friend that would give female friends shoulder massages, and then work his way around to the front, supposedly to work on the pecks, but really it was to subtly cop a feel and see how far he could push things. I would seriously not recommend doing this if you value the friendship, as it definitely cooled our friendship off and gave me creepy vibes from him.


Oh, you know that guy too? Man, he sure gets around.

OP, my 'friend' of two years (with not even a hint of anything sexual offered by me, ever!) thought he'd waited long enough. After a nice shoulder rub, he unexpectedly went for a boob and said he hoped we could 'hook up'. I told him absolutely not, we definitely weren't 'hooking up' and pushed him out the front door to ride home on his motorcycle on a cold, cold night when before I would have offered him the couch (alone) in front of a warm fireplace. End of friendship.

Sometimes a massage request is only that. Don't make ANY assumptions or guesses, and put that 'happy ending' out of your mind unless she specifically states she wants to give you one.


< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 12/5/2013 11:47:06 AM >

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 11:26:23 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		As a lover of massages, it could just be that the woman wanted a massage. Nothing more.

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 1:32:22 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Could be she wants to save the $30 at the spa for a massage.

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 7:52:56 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech

Could be she wants to save the $30 at the spa for a massage.


Where are you finding spa massages for $30, Merc? Around these parts $30 gets you a smile and a handshake.

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RE: massage - 12/5/2013 7:57:26 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		What kind of massage? Shoulders and neck, naked massage? Erotic?

I've had male and female friends give me neck and back massages because they could see I was stressed about something and felt bad for me. It wasn't foreplay or teasing or anything else. Just a friend being nice to me.

Now when a man has given me more than that, then it always lead to more than just a massage and it was his way of getting in my pants. But I wasn't complaining.

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RE: massage - 12/6/2013 3:10:54 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I love to have an all over massage. At times I get so sore and sometimes that does the trick. I do not expect sex to be a part of it. Besides, I have no libido..

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RE: massage - 12/6/2013 4:03:14 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

was just wondering.... if a woman acquaintance asks for a massage. Is she flirting or cockteasing or just that she fancies you?

but what if after the massage she goes kind of awkward?



Apparently, you thought she was cockteasing or flirting or fancied you and thought there was a sexual implication to her request.
And apparently you tried something that was outside of the realm of just a massage.



If you went past what she wanted you to do, that would be the reason why she went awkward.

As for her being a cocktease, that you would go there is a big red flag to me.


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RE: massage - 12/6/2013 4:17:03 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Exactly I agree with Angelia. TY for saving me the keystrokes.

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RE: massage - 12/6/2013 8:02:01 AM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech

Could be she wants to save the $30 at the spa for a massage.


Where are you finding spa massages for $30, Merc? Around these parts $30 gets you a smile and a handshake.


It shows how long it has been that I paid for a massage at a spa. (10 years)

Lovely having a playtime buddy that is a massage therapist.

I would really challenge paying too much more than $30 for a half hour. Or, it could be left coast prices. Those are usually out from the rest of the country by around 400%

< Message edited by MercTech -- 12/6/2013 8:04:11 AM >

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RE: massage - 12/6/2013 10:39:56 AM   
iLoveDommeWomen


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/1/2011
Status: offline 		thanks for all the replies.
yes i think maybe a cigar is just a cigar.
"And apparently you tried something that was outside of the realm of just a massage".
no it was "just" a massage and i didnt try anything else... and the massage was met with positive reaction at the time, but as i said... she then became awkward the next couple of times i saw her.

(in reply to MercTech)
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RE: massage - 12/6/2013 11:22:47 AM   
SweetAnise


Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline 		I am so surprised by this question. I get a massage weekly for 90 minutes...there is nothing sexual about it. Why does a D/s relationship and massage suddenly mean sex? You said she felt weird the next couple of times which means something you said or did made her feel uncomfortable. Personally the only time a massage would be sexual for me...if it is with someone I am having a LTR that is very connected and intimate.

< Message edited by SweetAnise -- 12/6/2013 11:26:42 AM >

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RE: massage - 12/6/2013 11:44:12 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Was your friend naked during this massage? If this was the first time she'd been naked with you,
perhaps her awkwardness stems from her feeling the relationship has changed somehow.

Perhaps she's afraid you think differently about her now, which was not her intention.


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