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David92506 -> Pro-Domme Experiences (12/7/2013 9:01:53 PM)

I really didn't know where to post this since there isn't an "Ask A Pro-Domme" section. And since it is about BDSM I didn't think it should go under the section "Off The Topic" of BDSM.

I've seen quite a few Pro-Dommes and am currently serving one. She comes to my house and I pay her a tribute for one hour sessions. With all the ones I've seen one generality is I've never received a full one hour session, even though this is what they advertise. It goes anywhere from 40 minutes to 50 minutes. All of them are struggling for business and they want repeat business. It seems to me they are cheating their customers. My question is, "Why do you think they cheat their customers out of the time?" I'm sure some will say, "Well I went to a health professional and paid them all this money and he/she only spent 3 minutes with me and didn't even seem to care. If they love their profession, why do they do this?" For example, if someone pays for a one hour massage, well, they want to get a one hour massage, not 40 minutes. If they only get 40 minutes they feel cheated.

In one instance, it was towards the end of the session and she wanted me to massage her feet, which I did. About 5 minutes goes by and it seems she is having an orgasm. She tells me she has been on her feet the whole day and this feels terrific. She then tells me my time is up and if I want to continue massaging her feet she wants another $250. I didn't do it. I have asked a few of them about why are they cutting the session short and I only get a harsh rebuttal and "how dare I question" her routine.

The one I'm currently serve leaves after 45 minutes. Whenever I ask if she is in a hurry and is that why she is leaving early she says something like this, "Do you want me to stay another 15 minutes and whip your butt until you cry?" I say no and she leaves. She only charges me $100 so I don't complain. It beats driving 90 minutes to LA and paying $250.

I just don't understand these women (or people). I would think they would actually go a little over 60 minutes to make their clients feel special. And they can't figure out why their practice is suffering?

What is your opinion?



stef -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/7/2013 10:06:20 PM)

Think about it this way; since suckers are willing to continue paying them even when they're butthurt enough to whine about being "cheated" on various web forums, where is their incentive to change?



angelikaJ -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/7/2013 10:41:03 PM)

Perhaps they are used to other professionals whose 50 minute hours are standard?



evesgrden -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/7/2013 10:52:29 PM)

Whatever the market will bear.

Speak with your wallet. Is she worth $100 for 45 minutes to you? If so just accept it. If not find someone else. You are paying for a service and it's your money. Or you could ask her if she'll be giving you a 45 minute session or an hour before you pay. You'll pay $75 for 45 minutes and $100 for a full hour... which would she like? If she asks you how dare you ask, you tell her that it's important that you both are on the same page for the business side of things. If she pulls the "I'll spank you till you cry", remind her of the limits and what you've consented to.

If she walks, good riddance. There are plenty of pros out there who will give you what you pay for.




MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/7/2013 11:07:21 PM)

If you feel you are being cheated go somewhere else. I don't know how to say it simpler. Just vote with your wallet.

I will tell you this: There are times that I was lonely and wanted some company. A fifty minute hour is about par for the course. This has been a lot of words to basically say, "Suck it up and deal."



AAkasha -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 12:05:49 AM)



You might want to go to the message boards at www.maxfisch.com as it's a site with more experience around the pro femdom industry. They would probably be able to tell you what's common.

I get the feeling it might be related to how the massage (legal) industry works? They wrap their sessions 10 minutes before the start of the next session basically. In an actual dungeon space it might be to allow time for clean up, etc. before the next client arrives. When you get a professional massage in a studio/spa, you are getting an hour massage but it's generally 50 minutes (and they advertise it as 50 minutes).

As others have said - just communicate your question ahead of time, not after.

Akasha



RedMagic1 -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 5:56:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506
The one I'm currently serve leaves after 45 minutes. Whenever I ask if she is in a hurry and is that why she is leaving early she says something like this, "Do you want me to stay another 15 minutes and whip your butt until you cry?" I say no and she leaves. She only charges me $100 so I don't complain. It beats driving 90 minutes to LA and paying $250.

I just don't understand these women (or people). I would think they would actually go a little over 60 minutes to make their clients feel special. And they can't figure out why their practice is suffering?

Make her feel special. Buy her flowers, buy her a Christmas present. Even in restaurants, if you tip well and don't return for six months, when you do go back, they remember you, smile broadly, and go out of their way to make you feel good.



MariaB -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 6:55:01 AM)


Its mean spirited to claim all men who visit pro Dommes are suckers. Many men have no alternative or don't want more involvement with a Mistress than the odd session now and again. Nothing suckerish about that!!

Most pro Dommes work a 45 - 50 minute hour when they work within their own chambers and a lot advertise the session as a 50 minute one but when you book two hours or more, the following hours are full ones or should be. Remember, you have to come in, get changed and prepared and when the session is over you have to get dressed and perhaps even have a shower. The women who comes to your house is probably spending a lot more time getting to you and from you than the actual session and her session is incredibly cheap.

I agree with eves suggestions. When you make that phone call to book the appointment, get them to clarify the length of the session. If she tells you an hour, ask if that's a full hour in the dungeon or from when you walk in to when you walk out.



Kana -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 7:09:36 AM)

quote:

Remember, you have to come in, get changed and prepared and when the session is over you have to get dressed and perhaps even have a shower. The women who comes to your house is probably spending a lot more time getting to you and from you than the actual session and her session is incredibly cheap.

Yeah-sorry. That's overhead and should be rolled into the hourly cost. That shits on the contractor and if they don't like it, tough titties.Next time do a better job of negotiating.
I don't care how someone wants to justify this, but for me it's simple-an hour was contracted, an hour should be received.
And this ain't aimed at pro-dommes either, this tendency to slip bothers me across life. Fucking masseuses try it all the time and it drives me nuts.

Fuck that shit. Hold people to their word or make em explain why they are thieves (Which is exactly what they are if they don't deliver what was promised). It's lots of fun watching people,especially so called licensed professionals, justify and stammer through their bullshit.

The shit just pisses me off. You give me 5/6 product, at best, I'll give you 5/6 the agreed upon money. Maybe.
Or sack up.If its gonna be 50 minutes, be straight up about it,make sure that's clear up front and I'll be fine with it. Then I get to make an informed decision as a consumer, not be stuck with some ex pacto mea culpa.
But don't piss on me and say it's raining. That just insults my intelligence.



kalikshama -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 7:13:25 AM)

Sessions with a masseuse or mental health professional are also 50 minutes, but they are clear about this ahead of time.

My downstairs neighbor qualified for a program that gives him house visits for therapy, and he has complained to me that the sessions are short. He's right - I can hear cars in the driveway and the time from her arriving to leaving was 40 minutes Friday. I suggested he call and ask how long these visits are supposed to be. She was also texting and eating lunch during his session, which I found dreadfully unprofessional. He doesn't want to "get her into trouble." [8|]

OP - pro-Dommes are also professionals and should act accordingly. You are paying for a service. I think you and my friend are both giving too much deference to an authority figure instead of keeping in mind who the client is.

Like MariaB said:

quote:

When you make that phone call to book the appointment, get them to clarify the length of the session. If she tells you an hour, ask if that's a full hour in the dungeon or from when you walk in to when you walk out.



stef -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 11:06:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Its mean spirited to claim all men who visit pro Dommes are suckers.

And yet, no one here has done such a thing.



TNDommeK -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 11:20:50 AM)

Op, I gotta say.. You should be GRATEFUL!!
With prices that damn cheap, you're getting a hell of a deal!

But to answer you question..talk to her. Tell her how you feel. She's not dumb, she knows how long an hour is.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 3:56:53 PM)

I ran an escort service and worked in the adult industry for quite a while. I booked escort, kink, dominatrixt ect. You can't get high level professional booking for $100 . . . so, it seems you get what you pay for. Street walker behavior at street walker rates bro. A street walker doesn't worry about repeat business nor does she care or act like she cares the least bit about you. Be polite, do your business quickly and move on son. Whatever you do, don't mess up her hair or she will fuck you up!!! Just sayin'

Most of the good high end pros spend a little extra time with the guys that want company because they want to build a client base. It's as simple as pointing out when the hour is up and spending 5 or 10 minutes extra "because you like him". Of course, they like almost all paying clients LOL. But nonetheless, a little ego boost for the client can make the girl more important to him. If she can become part of his self image system, that is guaranteed repeat business.

At lunch time, there were always the nooner clients who wanted out as soon as they were done. Billed an hour but she only stays 30 minutes . . . and he is a happy regular with her. That is common and the hour can be as short as 20 minutes.

I don't know anything about the girl you're seeing except she's cheap. Are you a hard call? Are you disabled or does your scene require her to shit all over you or work excessively hard? Ask her before she is at the end and headed out the door.



Lynnxz -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 4:17:06 PM)

$100 is really.... REALLY cheap.

You get what you pay for, I suppose.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 6:02:10 PM)

I've checked Pro Domme prices in the Seattle area just for kicks, to see what they go for in my state, and the going rate is pretty much $250 to $300 an hour. For $100 how much do you expect really? I'm not a Pro but I do have ONE guy who volunteeered to pay me $XXX an hour to dominate him every so often and I took him up on it. It turns out that, now, we're normally only together for about 45 minutes each time so I charge him 75% of what he offered. I guess you get what you pay for at $100. Sorry.

NBMG



seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 7:38:59 PM)

Sorry David, but I really don't know how the Pro Domme thing works in the LA area; and don't know how it works in this decade, either.


I only know what I experienced, about 20 years ago.

That said, I did find many who handled it the way you describe. Yet I also found a few where typically a one hour session ... was actually 2 - 3 hours.

Of course I was younger, in great shape and had to shop around. But I was not focused on looks, instead I sought out the skill set and knowledge.

Inevitably one Domme took me as Her personal slave ... and it was a wonderful relationship for 7 years. So my own experience with Pro Dommes is indeed a fond memory.

Yet do understand, I consider a Pro as a Lady one see's you in person; not one of today's "Fin-Dommes" using only Internet ... I believe there IS a difference.


The only tip I can give you regarding the ones who went overtime is: typically I went to their location, AND they were also lifestyle Dommes active in the local community. Don't know for sure, but it might be a difference.

That last little tidbit may still be a valid insight.

Good luck.


PS: Just saw NBMG's post, and thought I should add ... I paid $200/hr ... in the late 80's and early 90's. Dont think $100 gets you far in this day and age, especially near LA.



rokkman7456 -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/8/2013 11:44:48 PM)

$100 is cheap, but you can find it for 100-150. But it is not easy. Get what you pay for I guess.



JetOnly -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/9/2013 4:47:14 PM)

Simples, this is a job to her, many people in a job that they dont particularly care about do the minimum they have to
and it seems that people are not really voting with their feet - if you are not happy with something then sort it out, go to someone else. If you have been back several times and keep paying her for what you consider is not good enough service you are really let her know that she can get away with it and you may bitch but really she dosent care and you are not going to do anything about it

Pay less than 1/2 the going rate and expect the best?? hmm



StraponSimone -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/16/2013 1:06:03 AM)

It's already been said. You get what you pay for and if you don't like it, vote with your feet. Simple.

As a Pro-Domme, I charge what I'm worth and it is a matter of professional pride that I honour the agreed upon time-span. After all, it is a symbiotic relationship and one worth searching for. If you don't get what you seek the first time, and chances are you won't, move on. It's a big world out there.



Copper29 -> RE: Pro-Domme Experiences (12/17/2013 12:23:16 PM)

Agreeing with everyone else-- if you don't like it, go elsewhere, if you can find it. You're already getting an incredibly inexpensive experience.



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