Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love?

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Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 1:23:03 AM

pantysub3

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This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 1:36:13 AM

SweetDommes

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For the same reason that subs cheat on Dommes that they profess to love. Because some people just suck (in bad ways).

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 1:36:56 AM

leatherorlace

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If you have to ask, I have to0 wonder if you choose to remain deluded about all Domme's.
Not all are manhaters, not all are Lesbians, not all are bi-sexual, some are straight and love having intimate interactions with a Dominant male, others just choose to hump whomever pleases them, when it pleases them, how it pleases them, much like their Male Peers.
M. Gentry

quote:

ORIGINAL: pantysub3

This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

(in reply to pantysub3)

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 2:00:27 AM

pantysub3

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i think leather misunderstood the question

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 2:03:50 AM

pantysub3

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Thanks Ms Sweet, i think that is often true but wonder if at times the answer is more complex than that Ma'am

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 2:16:03 AM

gooddogbenji

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From: Toronto
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pantysub,

Of course the answer is more complex. There are always many reasons why people cheat on others, but at the end of the day, it is not all Dommes, not all subs, not all men, not all women - a few out of each group do this, and at the end of the day it doesn't matter why. They suck.

Yours,

benji

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 2:43:06 AM

pantysub3

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ROFLMAO good answer benji

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 4:12:38 AM

MysticFireTopaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pantysub3
This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

Just curious--was there any discussion about, or agreement to, a monogamous relationship between the two parties? There are those who can love someone without necessarily being sexually exclusive with them. I'm wondering if the Dommes in question had the same expectations about the relationship that you did?

Lady Topaz

(in reply to pantysub3)

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 6:59:23 AM

slave4mzpatti

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By "cheating" do you mean she lied to you? Did she promise to be exclusive? If not remember it is possible to love more than one person at a time and if it is just sex then she is getting that need fulfilled and that doesn't mean she loves you any less.

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 6:59:40 AM

MHOO314

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I would agree with LadyTopaz and her comments--I would think as a Dominant--She would have been very clear as to relationship expectations when you both started--many can and DO love one partner--Dom/mina or vanilla and have a relationship, sexual or otherwise with another---but it is all very open.

I suggest you go back and open those communications--there may have been some misunderstanding in the beginning---however, do not let the green-eyed monster called jealousy cloud what the relationship is built upon either---

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 7:19:18 AM

MstrssPassion

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: pantysub3
This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

Just curious--was there any discussion about, or agreement to, a monogamous relationship between the two parties? There are those who can love someone without necessarily being sexually exclusive with them. I'm wondering if the Dommes in question had the same expectations about the relationship that you did?

Lady Topaz

This would be my question as well.

If this person was lying about her additional activities or avoided discussing the fact that she had other involvements then it is she that is the issue, not because she identifies as a female dominant.

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MstrssPassion

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 7:20:04 AM

MsVoyeringmama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pantysub3

This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

WOAHHHH there !! I cant speak for any1 but me..

Polyamory: - (or “Poly” for short) honest, responsible practice of loving multiple People simultaneously. Based on Loving, stable, and open, long-term emotional and sometimes a sexual Relationship between more than two people. Unlike Swinging, the relationships are long-term, committed, and emotional.

I am >> Polyandry: the state or practice of a woman having two or more mates / lovers / husbands at the same time.

I like to meet more people who understand
That my heart is not so small as to only have room for one.
As though there is a table set for all the loves of my life.
Room for all, but each with their own chair.
No one person can replace another, and all are loved as uniquely as they each are.

and this is 1st always mentioned to any 1 I meet even in r/t as well and very noted in my profile...

< Message edited by MsVoyeringmama -- 7/4/2006 7:27:01 AM >

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 8:10:37 AM

Caretakr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pantysub3

This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

Hypocrasy, and an overblown sense of entitlement.

(in reply to pantysub3)

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 9:30:28 AM

LaTigresse

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As others have suggested in their replies to answer your question would take more information than you have given.
Firstly, what is your definition of cheating? Secondly are yours and Hers the same.
A submissive I chat with online may wrongly assume they are Mine. To me, no one is mine until we spend face to face time together. Until then we are friends with the potential of more. However they may feel differently and view my talking to other submissives as cheating. I do not!
Was the definition of your relationship discussed and boundaries set?
Has she purposely mislead you on the definition of your relationship and lied?

Just too many questions, too much information you have left out to even understand what you consider cheating let alone answer your question.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 9:58:09 AM

LadyHugs

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Dear pantysub3, Ladies and Gentlemen;

It has been my observation, that people come to independent views of what constitutes cheating.

Communication as to define and or understand what you and other individuals, e.g. Dominants; consider cheating may permit better choices in creating a union of like minded people in pursuit of a relationship.

Unfortunately, it is human to reach out when things are troublesome. Some use cheating on another as a manipulation, as to cause the partner to respond. Of course the poor person to whom unwittingly became the tool of manipulation, are the ones last to know of such intent. There are so many reasons why people cheat, as one can easily see on these TV talk shows, e.g Jerry Springer, Maury Show, etc. Some experts, such as Dr. Phil McGraw, claim that it is a form of breakdown in communication within the relationship and, nothing good comes of it, if the focus doesn't remain inside the relationship.

Perhaps the best way as to gain your personal answers, are to approach those dominants to which 'cheated' on you. Only those parties within your personal relationships can answer better than I.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 10:00:17 AM

strob

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pantysub3

This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

well, I had no such experiences so I can't give an honest answer...but, maybe because they just feel like it

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 10:01:17 AM

pantysub3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: pantysub3
This has happened to me more than once and i'm curious as to why They do it? Why tell a sub over a period of months that They love him but then cheat on him?

Just curious--was there any discussion about, or agreement to, a monogamous relationship between the two parties? There are those who can love someone without necessarily being sexually exclusive with them. I'm wondering if the Dommes in question had the same expectations about the relationship that you did?

Lady Topaz

Yes Lady Topaz in both cases we were supposed to be exclusive, each of them said they were monogamous and never cheated on anyone

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 10:03:18 AM

pantysub3

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Yes slave4 they lied repeatedly

(in reply to slave4mzpatti)

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 10:10:27 AM

pantysub3

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Ms Hathor,

Respectfully, there was absolutely no misunderstanding. The relationships were supposedly built on, trust, mutual respect and love. Lies murder the truth and kill relationships by destroying the trust that they are built on and sustained by. Without trust no relationship of any value or intimacy is possible

Respectfully,

panty

(in reply to MHOO314)

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RE: Why do Dommes Cheat on subs They say that they love? - 7/4/2006 10:18:03 AM

pantysub3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

As others have suggested in their replies to answer your question would take more information than you have given.
Firstly, what is your definition of cheating? Secondly are yours and Hers the same.
A submissive I chat with online may wrongly assume they are Mine. To me, no one is mine until we spend face to face time together. Until then we are friends with the potential of more. However they may feel differently and view my talking to other submissives as cheating. I do not!
Was the definition of your relationship discussed and boundaries set?
Has she purposely mislead you on the definition of your relationship and lied?

Just too many questions, too much information you have left out to even understand what you consider cheating let alone answer your question.

Ma'am,

i would define cheating as one having an affair with another sub and even collaring the other sub, when the Domme promised to be exclusive to me. Exclusive as in having no oter subs or lovers.

The relationships (6 years apart) were discussed extensively and clearl defined. The simple fact is that They lied repeatedly, over & over again. To clarify things further, these were Women i had met, served, made love with, shared life with.

Respectfully,

panty

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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