jlf1961
Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
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Never really understood what Sir Arthur Cannon Doyle meant when he wrote that, but that is beside the point.
Alright, now for my nephew and grandson's sake, I have been going along with this christmas thing, you know, Santa, reindeer, sleigh (I am from Texas, what exactly is a sleigh anyway?)
I have even given myself permission to attempt to believe in all this myth and legend, however, today I noticed something.
We took Damian and Thomas (my grandson) to see Santa. I noticed a few things about this alleged "Santa" immediately.
The hair that was visible under his hat was a salt and pepper color, while his beard was white, my beard matches my hair color, as is the case in just about every bearded male I have seen, regardless of species.
All the pictures depict Santa wearing wire frame round glasses, this "Santa" was wearing what appeared to be military issue black plastic framed glasses.
He was not wearing boats, but black shoes with some sort of vinyl legging things.
His "fat" body was inconsistent, and his belly did not jiggle like a bowl of jelly when he laughed.
Damian was suspicious of this individual immediately, absolutely refused to sit in his lap and he had a questioning look on his face as the picture was taken as if to say to the world "Something just aint right here."
Thomas was a little more subtle. He had a list of questions for this guy.
1) where was his reindeer at while he was seeing the children?
Answer: behind the store. (Thomas had me drive around back to see for himself, no reindeer.)
2) Where were his elves that were supposed to pass out candy canes?
Answer: In the bathroom. He asked me to check in the men's room, and another little girl checked the ladies room, she was quick to report the bathroom was empty, and with that promptly told her mother that this was not the real Santa, and refused to have anything more to do with the individual.
Thomas sat for the picture, refusing to smile and looked at Santa with all the intensity of a CIA interrogator.
With this done, we did what little shopping needed to be done and left the store.
Thomas has a plan for Christmas eve. He wants to use one of Pappy's (daughter in laws dad) motion controlled and automatic trail cameras in the den where the christmas tree is aimed at the fireplace.
My daughter in law said to me in a whisper, that she could easily disable the camera so there would be no problem. I pointed out that her fathers cameras took an automatic picture every three minutes, and continuous pictures if the motion detector was triggered, and Thomas is not dumb, he knows what a time stamp is on pictures.
Thomas has already eliminated the possible existence of the tooth fairy, last month when he lost a tooth, he tied a thread to it and placed it under his pillow, with the other end tied to his finger. He caught mommy in the act.
Thomas is not dumb by any stretch, in fact he may be too smart for his own good. I do believe his doubts about Santa started last year.
Last year, one of his older cousins came outright and told him there was no Santa. After everyone went to bed Christmas eve, he got up, got the flour canister down, proceeded to the slate floor in front of the fireplace, and spread a coating of flour all over the slate floor, using about 2 pounds of flour in the process. Grandma and Pappy were not pleased.
Pappy was not pleased for another reason besides the mess, he had to go to the store and get more flour so grandma could finish the baking.
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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?
You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.
Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI
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