Intimacy... (Full Version)

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shadowborn61 -> Intimacy... (12/14/2013 11:53:24 PM)

Now how many of you heard sex in your heads when you read that?
A discussion on another site sparked this.
I am a submissive and i love to serve male or female makes no difference if i can please You then i have done what i am on this earth to do.
That includes any mundane every day chore You may tell me to do but in return i need intimacy and no to me that doesn't always mean sex.
i find intimacy in a lot of things, for me a good old fashioned OTK spanking is intimate or serving as a body groom for a Dominant is intimate, now i would be lying if i didn't say that i hope that they will lead to sex BUT sex isn't necessary for me to have intimacy.
Being held close after an intense play scene for me is intimate even if the Dominant feels it is a necessity, for me it is still intimate.
For me sex is a gift given freely because someone wants to enjoy it with you but not a necessity for intimacy.
For me intimacy is a need while sex is a want.
what do you think?



littlewonder -> RE: Intimacy... (12/14/2013 11:57:58 PM)

No I didn't hear sex in my head when I read the title.

Intimacy and sex are both needs for me.

Neither one trumps the other.

Thankfully I have both.



BecomingV -> RE: Intimacy... (12/15/2013 2:41:55 AM)

Nope, I didn't think of sex.

To me, intimacy is honesty to the point of vulnerability. (and that isn't sexual)

But, I do think intimacy is what makes the difference between sexual release and mind-blowing sex.




HntersToy -> RE: Intimacy... (12/15/2013 8:44:59 AM)

I didn't think of sex. Intimacy is a need for me as well, without it first, there would be no sex if left to my own will. Intimacy (to me) is a sharing of ones inner self.



NuevaVida -> RE: Intimacy... (12/15/2013 9:23:51 AM)

I also didn't think of sex. Intimacy is a connection/bonding of the heart. We can have an intimate moment just watching tv together.



shadowborn61 -> RE: Intimacy... (12/15/2013 9:29:31 AM)

I agree with all of you.



Kana -> RE: Intimacy... (12/15/2013 1:59:40 PM)

Funny-for us intimacy certainly does not equal sex...but sex always has the ingredient of intimacy in it at some level.
Always



sheisreeds -> RE: Intimacy... (12/15/2013 2:53:16 PM)

When I look at the most intimate times in our relationship many of them had nothing to do with sex or BDSM. Some of the most intimate times we weren't even touching.



Dreamless -> RE: Intimacy... (12/16/2013 1:41:14 AM)

Seeing as my primary relationship is with an asexual woman...

Sex doesn't even come to MIND when I think of intimacy. And like you, OP, I would say that sex is a want, intimacy is a need.

Looks like kinksters seem to get the sex/intimacy divide perhaps more than the rest of the world.



shadowborn61 -> RE: Intimacy... (12/16/2013 5:28:56 AM)

Yes but even in the kink world i have too many times seen the attitude that most men Dominant and submissive think only with their "little head".
Now in a lot of cases that may be true with a lot of men but it makes it hard for those of us who do not think of sex first last and always when we are lumped in with the rest. It is a hard stereotype to break.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Intimacy... (12/16/2013 5:33:56 AM)

Some of the most intimate moments I've experienced have had no sex, some have had no BDSM. I had a very close intimate time yesterday with Himself. We sat in a double chair at the movie house and held hands while we watched part 2 of the Hobbit.

It's great, BTW, you get plenty of Smaug time.




shadowborn61 -> RE: Intimacy... (12/16/2013 7:25:21 AM)

I want to see part 2 very badly. So far they have done very well with the story i know that not everything from the books will always make it into the movie (the Lord of the Rings trilogy) but so far they have done pretty well IMHO.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Intimacy... (12/16/2013 7:27:37 AM)

I think they've done much better with the Hobbit. But then 3 long movies for one book makes sense for such a long story.

There was just no way to get everything in the trilogy into 3 long movies. But they did fuck with the basic theme a lot in the trilogy. They are not doing that so far with the Hobbit.

Smaug is just excellent.

ETA: Since this is so off topic, I started my own thread. Sorry for hijack.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Intimacy... (12/16/2013 7:27:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowborn61
Now how many of you heard sex in your heads when you read that?

"Intimate encounters" is a personals site code word, so that might have an effect, especially if you are polling people online. But I think almost anyone who has been in a happy relationship will think of nonsexual things first. Hell, the hospice workers told my brother and his wife, "We'll be talking about your marriage for a long time," because they were so beautiful together. He hadn't been sexually functional for at least a year.



andyh12k -> RE: Intimacy... (12/30/2013 7:19:10 AM)

No I didn't think of sex either.

Intimacy on the other hand is explained quite well by several others above ...in fact so well there is little for me to add.

Paolo [:)]



RemoteUser -> RE: Intimacy... (1/2/2014 9:00:06 PM)

My most recent relationship was not extremely intimate (despite my romantic inclinations). In some ways, that made the intimate moments more significant.

One of the most intimate moments I recall wasn't even in the bedroom. We were shopping in Taos, wending our way through small shops, browsing. She walked up behind me and gently slipped her hand in mine, held it, and didn't let go. This, from a woman who was not very big on public displays of any form.

We held hands through most of the rest of our walk through that particular store. I will never forget that.



DeineSKlavin -> RE: Intimacy... (1/25/2014 2:20:44 AM)

It didn't bring to mind sex initially. The good morning/good night texts when apart, the hand holding, the sharing meals, staring deep into each others eyes, having conversations about the serious and mundane, even riding in the car together as he travels for work. The closeness, the bond, this is the intimacy. For the sex to be earth shattering, there has to be intimacy for me. I am lucky in that I have it.



Blueswordsman -> RE: Intimacy... (1/25/2014 6:17:03 AM)

The best part of sex is after. When you are floating in your lover's arms without a care. That's Intimacy



ResidentSadist -> RE: Intimacy... (1/25/2014 7:58:37 AM)

Of course I heard sex in my head when I read that. "Intimacy", "being intimate" and "intimate knowledge" are polite ways to say sex when in mixed company, in church, in court, on TV, around relatives or in public. On a dating website in the kink forums, I absolutely heard sex in my head when I read that. If I had read it in a letter from a friend or family, I would not have thought of sex.

For me, sex, love and intimacy are all wants, not needs. I need food, water and air to survive, not sex, love or intimacy. Please don't get me wrong, I love romance and I am extremely romantic. And I agree that intimacy does not require sex. But your priorities are backwards to human nature and mine. I treat sex more like a need than a want. Intimacy or love is a much lower priority.

In my house, sex is not always given freely, I take it when I want it and on a good night, violent resistance bordering on rape is a good thing. Samdarella and I may give sex as a gift sometimes for the raw physical pleasure of it. Sometimes it is a duty. Sometimes it is leverage. Sometimes it is a social nicety to share with a good friend. Sometimes it is a commodity. . . and sometimes sex is an emotional tool for being as intimate as possible.



tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Intimacy... (1/25/2014 11:31:20 AM)

I certainly didn't think sex when I read intimacy. MM only gets to come home from the hospital on Friday nights and goes back on Sunday afternoon. We're both so emotionally exhausted, he unpacks and we crawl into bed. He snuggles me into his arms and we're both at peace for that little time we have.

If we're driving somewhere, it's usually holding hands. I love to slip my hand in his when we're walking around. We spend a lot of time laughing, he makes me giggle. That's all a big part of our being intimate at the moment.



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