RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/17/2013 11:31:58 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongAthenaKali
doesn't mean that a good match is easy to come by for a strong and fulfilling connection.

This sounds as though your objective is much closer to "find a part-time third for a poly relationship" than it is to "find a cute guy for a hot scene." Though your stated objective isn't super clear, which might be part of the issue. If I'm hearing you correctly, then you might want to consider the following.

Finding a third isn't easy, and PlentyofFish and OKC are probably better resources than CraigsList, just to limit ourselves to online resources. As a knowledgeable friend of mine once said, "Poly works best when everyone has somebody they can call their own." So my advice is that instead of focusing on single men, you try to engage sub-sub couples, or sub guys in an open relationship. Then you'll find people with the social skills to attract and maintain a primary relationship, but who are still open to being your cherished piece on the side.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/17/2013 4:33:42 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongAthenaKali

Looks like the moral of the story is "be patient!" Thanks all for the support.

On a related note, I think it's a misnomer that it can be "easy" to find any type of person (as this case illustrates so beautifully) for any type of play. Just because there exists a wealth of individuals who are interested in one facet of play doesn't mean that a good match is easy to come by for a strong and fulfilling connection.

Kali,

To be clear, and to leave my humour (such as it is) aside, versus my last:

I'm one of those types of sub males who'd be up for this myself - either as giver or as receiver. But it would be *key* to me that the femdom in control of the scene involving her regular partner and another man *really shows that she's getting off on it*. To get two men to do this to please you - two men who basically consider themselves to be pretty much heterosexual - you *really* have to dominate. You have to take the bull by the horns. You aren't playing with girlie-dom level stuff with this particular fantasy. It demands that most men - even somewhat bi men like myself - have to override some fundamental things that they are brought up to assume regarding being 'real males'.

Do you see? Sure you have to find the right man to complement your usual partner for this thing. But when you have - you can't pussyfoot with the situation. You *must* dominate - the whole nine yards. Both men will need you to take control, so you just must take *proper control*.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/18/2013 12:15:30 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongAthenaKali

Now I can see why people who are new to the community get frightened away by so-called "forums" like this. I said "help welcome", not "pedantic and condescending bullying welcome."

MistressDarkArt, MariaB, AthenaSurrenders (great name!), RochSub2009, and LadyPact, thank you for your kind and thoughtful replies (and safe sex reminders, which are always welcome). Sometimes it is nice to simply bounce an idea out and see what someone else has tried - particularly when you're feeling like you have run out of creative ideas! I have wonderful and deep connections in our local kink community, but for this particular scene, I would like to branch away from someone my boy and I already know, and the search both online and in-person is going slowly. My difficulty is in finding a submissive or switch man who is comfortable with another man pleasuring him - i.e., would enjoy and feel comfortable with it. Time will surely bring a partner who would enjoy this to my door, through this medium or my local community, and until then I will keep my eyes and ears open!

I might be reading into something that isn't there but the part I highlighted above has an underlying message. It says you want this really hot m/m cock sucking scene, but you don't want anyone that you actually KNOW to know that you want to conduct that kind of scene. That's pretty common. A lot of people out there still attach a stigma to m/m activities and even when they are excited to engage in them, some still want it to be very hush hush.

While I'm not downing the suggestions from other posters about using other sites to arrange this opportunity, it's not how I've done it in My personal experience. In fact, I'm not even the type to respond to emails on this site when males I don't know write to Me out of the blue and say they are wanting to try this kink. What I've found works best is the in person method. If I'm correct in My thinking about the highlighted above, I'd probably be going to the next local kink community over than the one you usually attend and do it for the purpose of this goal in mind. When you've accomplished your arrangement, go back to attending your regular munch.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/18/2013 10:06:02 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

I'm not into threesomes, but my Mistress has lamented that finding the suckee is the problem in your equation.

My thought is: Straight guys may find a penis sexy, the problem is that such a penis is attached to another man who has a face, body, personality --- etc. A third person can really change the dynamic between two people, so the problem is finding a person, doing a scene, and managing the changes and emotions of a newly crowded bedroom. Maybe this is why 3rd men or cuckholders are referred to as BULLS. An animal with a purpose doesn't really enter into the relationship the way a person would.

Also, can a hetero male get excited about a guy sucking his cock? Can a gay male get excited by having a woman involved in his sex. Tricky questions all.

The thoughts are all sexy, but I question how they actually translate into reality.

Vannessa Challand was a good writer on this subject -- but she clashed hard with the regulars here and doesn't post anymore. She had a lot of experience.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 12/18/2013 10:12:35 PM >

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/19/2013 5:18:56 AM

kalikshama