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confused - 12/17/2013 1:45:01 PM

GoddessNelani

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Many claim to be submissive but do not know what that entails. I am dominant with no time to waste. I gather I am not alone in this theory - feedback.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 1:52:06 PM

mnottertail

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Everybody is some of something, and yes many submissives dont know what it entails in your mind, they just know what it entails in theirs (some very kinda sorta vaguely). And the opposite is also true.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 1:54:17 PM

mnottertail

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Many submissives do not know what submission entails to you, they only know what it entails to them (some kinda sorta maybe vaguely). The opposite (domination and dominants is also true).

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 1:59:42 PM

mnottertail

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Wow, the first did post, sorry......that took some time after the error, I swear it wasnt there.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 2:01:14 PM

LanceHughes

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Nelani: Here it is short and sweet.... Train your subs to know what YOU expect.
If I had the same sub as you, that sub's relationship with me would go down WAAAaaaay differently.

Usually a user name of GoddessWhatever is used by fin Dommes without a clue as to the power exchange parts of BDSM. So, if you're here to whine about not getting enough $$$, please change your behavior and see if you can make it happen. Being a FinDomme is HARD work. The successful ones give value for money.

If you are NOT a FinDomme, I apologize for advice that doesn't pertain to you and suggest you start a new account with a VERY different user name, 'K?

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 12/17/2013 2:02:10 PM >

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 2:02:04 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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That's your intro? Alrighty then.

Welcome to the discussion side, where we like to discuss topics of mutual interest and don't assume others are mind readers.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 2:07:16 PM

LanceHughes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
That's your intro? Alrighty then.

Welcome to the discussion side, where we like to discuss topics of mutual interest and don't assume others are mind readers.

CP: I just wrote to Mods for a forum change. Didn't even realize this thread was in intros. Looked like a juicy topic on the marque and that's how I got here - directly from marque.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 2:23:33 PM

VideoAdminGamma

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Fast Reply

This topic has been moved from Introductions to here.

Thanks,
Gamma

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 3:38:24 PM

Rawni

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As a findom and someone that lives for writing, I find that you simply aren't writing enough. If you expect submissive men to do more than grunt, you may have to explain some things. Though some of them may need a shorter version as their attention spans... amounts to a few inches sometimes and you need to get through to them, it really is beneficial if you don't expect them to readily understand exactly what you mean. There are many other findoms teaching them to behave in certain ways and they are, much to a lifestyler domina's dismay, a pain in some of our asses. lol Being called goddess or mistress... ukkk

I have to teach people how I expect to be treated all the time. Why should your time be worth more than my own or your patience any less than what I must constantly strive to have?

We all have our little issues around here. I tend to laugh at mine, but they can be frustrating, but you have to look first at what you might be doing wrong. If you can do that, you might get it.

< Message edited by Rawni -- 12/17/2013 3:40:37 PM >

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 3:53:41 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessNelani

Many claim to be submissive but do not know what that entails. I am dominant with no time to waste. I gather I am not alone in this theory - feedback.

I think that goes for both sides of the fence. Now we will see if you come back to discuss this or if you were only fishing for more hits on your profile and a little extra spending cash for the holidays.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 4:06:45 PM

peppermint

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I know exactly how to be a submissive with my dominant, Gary. However, I am sure being your submissive would make for a lot of changes. Submissives are not a one type fits all.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 4:45:24 PM

kalikshama

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I've been in six serious BDSM relationships. Each person had a different idea of what submission meant to them. They all liked their coffee differently, too.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 4:56:11 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessNelani

Many claim to be submissive but do not know what that entails. I am dominant with no time to waste. I gather I am not alone in this theory - feedback.

Just like others have said - there is no 'one size fits all' on either side of the kneel.
Everyone will be different, as will their personality and expectations.

Nobody is born a mind-reader.
You have to put in the effort to explain what you want from it.
So yes, you have to waste time and explain to people or you're gonna have some very empty coffers.

And, FWIW, you are no 'Goddess' anything until you have earned that title.

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 5:22:53 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessNelani

Many claim to be submissive but do not know what that entails. I am dominant with no time to waste. I gather I am not alone in this theory - feedback.

Same thing on the other side, Nelani.

It can be a bear trying to find someone to complement you but it's really worth it in the end so don't give up.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: confused - 12/17/2013 11:08:22 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessNelani

Many claim to be submissive but do not know what that entails. I am dominant with no time to waste. I gather I am not alone in this theory - feedback.

My thoughts in no particular order:
- Nobody will tell you they are happy to have their time wasted
- It's always hard finding someone who is a good fit for you and does require an investment of time. Note the word 'investment', not 'waste' - it's all in how you look at it
- I agree with the others that just saying 'most of you aren't subs' without laying out what you DO consider to be a sub, isn't helping to weed out those you don't want.
- You have a journal entry that threatens to out people. I imagine that will put many genuine subs off.

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RE: confused - 12/18/2013 6:44:09 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessNelani

Many claim to be submissive but do not know what that entails. I am dominant with no time to waste. I gather I am not alone in this theory - feedback.

1. My submissive will be submissive to me in MY way. Yours will be submissive in YOUR way. Saying that your way is the ONLY way is kinda presumptuous.

2. No time to waste? Um, nobody comes to you 100% compatible with you. It takes time to work out compatibility, with the D/s aspect being just one part of it. It's NOT wasted time - it's a necessary time investment.

With that said, welcome to the site!

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: confused - 12/18/2013 6:44:54 AM

JetOnly

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If I have time to spend with someone and I dont have that someone just now then I have that time available to find the right person

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RE: confused - 12/18/2013 6:49:47 AM

JetOnly

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Oh sorry I just went to the OP's profile and from the writings there it sounds like a 'true' sub is someone who is happy to pay upfront to someone who really dosent list anything useful about what she is into in her profile
Thankfully I dont know any 'true' subs like that, but I have a great time with the 'fake' ones who like to get to know me as a person and want to submit to me because I have earnt that trust

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RE: confused - 12/18/2013 7:06:40 AM

Toysinbabeland

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Welcome to the forums from a waste of time.

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RE: confused - 12/18/2013 10:42:31 AM

Rochsub2009

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Nelani,
I see from your profile that you are a findomme. Don't you realize that many submissive men would label you a "fake" simply because of that. Yet here you are calling sub males fake. Here is a line directly from your profile:

"Many fools are on here impersonating to be submissive men & by far you are not."

What gives you the right to say that they are "impersonating"? Are you the judge and jury of what is "real" and what isn't?

In your journal you write the following:

"It is very amusing how some of these ridiculous men, parade to be subs but have no financial backing to offer tribute."

So that is how you determine whether they are submissive or not? If they offer tribute they're "real", and if they don't they're "fake". Ummmmmm, okay. Good luck with that.

BTW, this thread was a waste of my time.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 12/18/2013 10:44:12 AM >

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