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S&M Question - 12/19/2013 6:16:30 AM   
Raxyl


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/19/2013
Status: offline 		Is there a slave and master sort of relationship that includes all the love and joy one would have with a slave as well as giving them support and comfort without the sexual stuff? I want to be able to have someone I could touch and call pet, discipline and praise. But it would be different from typical S&M. Maybe someone who is a masochist would fit the bill, but they'd also need to enjoy cuddling and junk. I don't know....I just want a pet that will open up emotionally to me, hug me, lay in bed with me and be lazy when I feel lazy without giving my body to them. You see to me, sex is like giving someone a part of your heart and soul. I don't like that feeling and I don't want to do it. I apologize if this is a difficult question.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 6:32:34 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		Any sort of relationship, be it M/s D/s Sm or whatever, can be as inclusive or distant as you want it to be.
The trick is finding the right partner.

(in reply to Raxyl)
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RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 7:00:27 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Sounds like my standard kind of D/s. Why does it need to be M/s?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
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RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 7:23:10 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		It doesn't.
It can be any type of relationship.
You make it what you want to make it - with the right partner of course.
Whatever floats your boat and you are happy, who cares what box/label it fits into??

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 7:29:14 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		You can try to have anything you want. I say try because even though anything is possible. Anything is not possible for a given person. Secondly, the more you want the more challenging it is to find and achieve what you want.

But a word of encouragement. Many in this lifestyle are succeeding and achieving things that are very uncommon and even rare in everyday society. If you have the determination, ability and time, you can succeed as well.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Raxyl)
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RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 8:56:55 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Weirdness...

I am a sado-masochist who enjoys bondage and discipline. Oddly, I am also a normal female who enjoys cuddling, love, joy, support, and comfort from a loving partner.

Is that really unusual in your view? I am submissive but I always thought slaves had normal human desires as well as the need to serve. If they are not getting it with the person they are with it is time to find another.

If you do not desire the sex with the rest make that clear from the start and make sure you remind your partner now and then.

I have a play partner who enjoys hurting me and then cuddling. Beside the occasional lunch it is all we do. From the beginning I learned not to let my emotions or desire for sex to be part of our time together.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 12/19/2013 8:59:58 AM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Raxyl)
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RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 9:18:08 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		This masochist also enjoys cuddling, hugs. emotional support...and sex.

I've had three non-sexual BDSM relationships, which worked for a while, but were ultimately unsatisfying...to me.

Go ahead and seek out what you want, but since you don't intend to share your heart and soul, do be clear about that up front.

(in reply to Raxyl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 9:51:56 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		fr

I don't see any issue with having cuddling alongside SM. For me personally, cuddling and having romantic sort of interactions with someone who would never consider giving me their heart would be a limit - but that doesn't mean it isn't right for you.

Are you expecting monogamy or an open relationship? Because I would guess that most people do want sexual contact and love in their lives, so what you are looking for might better suit someone in an open/poly relationship with the option to get those other needs met elsewhere.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 10:44:34 AM   
iaminigo


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/3/2013
Status: offline 		Doesn't sound crazy to me at all. Like others said, just let them know about your no-sex desire up front, and you may find a number of pets that are looking for such owners.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 12:05:36 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		Fast Reply

quote:

You see to me, sex is like giving someone a part of your heart and soul. I don't like that feeling and I don't want to do it.


I don't see why you can't give your heart and soul to someone who will be your master. I also don't see why your master can't cuddle and be tender with you. Infact..., isn't there like an official "aftercare procedures for doms" where that is mandatory ha! Okay not claiming to be an expert, but I would think it's common sense to offer comfort and assurance after an intense session.

(in reply to iaminigo)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: S&M Question - 12/19/2013 1:45:43 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So you want love and cuddles and play but no sex.
I'm sure you could get that. But you might do better with a poly or open relationship so your partner can fulfill their sexual needs.

I don't know how easily you can find a loving, asexual masochist in your area.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 11
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