Cannot decide my orientation

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Cannot decide my orientation - 11/19/2004 4:24:16 AM

electronmaster

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/19/2004
Status: offline

Hi,
I am new here. Well, I don't know I am a dom or not. Sometime, I enjoy to see some girl being dominated by someone, but sometime, I think SM is not my type.
Any idea of my situation?

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/19/2004 4:48:56 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Greetings and firstly...welcome to collarme.com! I truely hope You find it helpful here.

From a personal point of view, I do not believe that one need be interested in Sm to be Dominant but that rather Sm is a useful 'tool' that can be used within a Master/sub(or slave) relationship, if that is what is desired by both parties. Domination is about the exchange of power, rather than a Sm exploration only. If You are drawn towards Your Dominance and find anothers submission as pleasing... then I would humbly suggest You follow our own path and enjoy the new journey before You! I hope this helps.

It is my personal opinion only...

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to electronmaster)

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/19/2004 5:01:01 AM

electronmaster

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/19/2004
Status: offline

Dark~angel,
Thanks for your advice. I think I misused 'SM' there. What I meant is slave/master or Dom/sub relation. So basically, I am not sure whether I am a dom or not.
Any more advice for me?
Thanks

(in reply to darkinshadows)

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/19/2004 6:01:22 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

Well, Angel did say you have to figure out your dominance. Think to yourself, are you drawn to dominating someone or to be dominated? If you are turned on by both you could be a switch. There is nothing wrong with that. I agree with Angel that you need to follow your own path. Enjoy the journey!

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to electronmaster)

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/19/2004 6:55:27 AM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

Who is holding a gun to your head saying you have to deciede? The beauty of sexual freedom is being who you want when you want. You are free to explore and like what you like when you like it. Sexual awakening and exploration is an evolutionary process. It grows, and your likes and interests will evolve over time, if you want them too. Don't put added pressure on yourself by trying to embrace a label or conform to anyone elese standards of how you are to be. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.. and if it feels good.. DO IT..

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/19/2004 10:21:55 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Don't worry about your orientation. In fact, in trying to learn more about switches, I just got the very interesting a quite logical piece of information that many who are new to the lifestyle are often switches in the beginning. I see you are 22, and from your post, it sounds like you are just venturing into this. So take your time, and you will be able to determine, eventually if you are Dominant, submissive, or prefer to be a switch and have the best of both worlds.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 11/19/2004 10:25:48 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to electronmaster)

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/19/2004 10:24:31 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold
take your time, and you will be able to determine, eventually if you are Dominant, submissive, or prefer to be a switch and have the best of both worlds.[/font]

Seconded. There isn't any hurry, and it's lots of fun to try things.

I wish I was a switch, honestly, they get to enjoy doing so much! :)

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~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/20/2004 8:57:14 AM

masteroffire

Posts: 66
Joined: 11/9/2004
From: Yukon, Oklahoma
Status: offline

If I am reading the original post correctly. It sounds at though you may be unsure if you are interested in the lifestyle or not, moreso that if you should be a dom or a sub...

You say you like seeing women dominated, but do you see yourself as the one dominating her? Can you see yourself being dominated? Or do you simply like watching, a voyeur if you will?

There are no wrong answers... The best option may be to find a group in your area and get to know some of them... explore and see what does it for you...

(in reply to electronmaster)

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RE: Cannot decide my orientation - 11/20/2004 9:38:28 PM

electronmaster

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/19/2004
Status: offline

masteroffire,
you are right. I am not saying whether I want to be a dom or a sub. I just not sure whether I am a dom or not, but I am pretty sure that I am not a sub. And I am just wandering whether I am interested in the lifestype of Slave/Master or Dom/Sub relationship.
Regarding about finding a group, do you have any idea? I am pretty new in this field. I just found out that sometime I enjoy seeing a women being dominated.
Thanks

(in reply to masteroffire)

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Post #: 9