regaining balance after deep subspace

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gardenbluebird -> regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 10:12:07 AM)
Yesterday Master took me to a place (mentally) where i had not gone before. Deep subspace is the only words I can think to describe it, but that somehow seems inadequite. He was exploring my mind and opening a door. He called it a beginning, and gave me the instruction to give this serious thought and decide if i wanted to walk through that door. So obviously i have a lot to think about. The question is that i am currently feeling confused and off-balance. It will be several days before i see him again so i am on my own to get my mental state resolved. How does one regain balance after such a deep experience? I know it will take a bit of time, but what can i do to help myself in the meantime?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 10:16:17 AM)
Subdrop Is it drop or am I kidding myself? Depression after a scene Sub Drop Nervous sub seeks reassurance sleeping... http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459 sub-drop what is it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462 highs and lows http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164 subdrop or what?

mnottertail -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 10:22:02 AM)
One does not examine this phenomenon for a couple days or so..........Remember big whoremoan and enzyme and chemical influx means big drain, while you may be a vile and wothless and fucked up person in real life....this episode is no evidence of that.......(YOU BETTER BE LAUGHING) You are so normal, rest, hydrate, read a book, do what you do that relaxes.......it is too bad you could not have been afforded more aftercare........ But baby, you are so NOT alone and normal......... Seriously now, Ron

Caretakr -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 10:26:39 AM)
Forget the thread jerking in this instance,(counterproductive to try and connect a physical feedback to a mental issue) I have had to help girls with this in the past. This is going to require a meditative process to deal with. Sit down and type out what happened, and your feelings, in as much detail as possible. Then go back and edit it, until you feel it's spot on to your experiences. Then review the salient points that were confusing or distressing to you- you have them in print,so you can share them with the Top- and get his feedback. It all takes time, just have patience with yourself-you'll get there.

desertdancer -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 12:05:08 PM)
Master has used the opening of a door on me, at the time I fought him which made coming back to myself all the worse. I've learned a lot since that first time and we do it often now, which is enjoyable and I love what he shows me, but when I drop sometimes I drop hard. So this is what I do. I ground and center, I gather my energy and think of the top of my head, from there I focus each part of my body working down to my feet, in my head I see a line, a long line, like a rope or chain or even just a ling now that I'm better at it, from there I see the line/energy/ rope going into the ground, connecting my feet to the ground, then i see the rocks under the earth and from there you get the idea, i try to feel myself, my core planted firmly on the ground, balanced and standing. This works really well for me. I can't promise this will work for you, but it's worth a try[:D] ~dancer

Lordandmaster -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 12:06:46 PM)
Not all of those links came through, LA. quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Subdrop Is it drop or am I kidding myself? Depression after a scene Sub Drop Nervous sub seeks reassurance sleeping... http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459 sub-drop what is it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462 highs and lows http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164 subdrop or what?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 12:39:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Not all of those links came through, LA. Hmm maybe cuz I was using netscape. Let me try again, thanks. http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459 sub-drop what is it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462 highs and lows http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164 subdrop or what? Is it drop or am I kidding myself? Depression after a scene Sub Drop Nervous sub seeks reassurance sleeping...

ownedgirlie -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 5:57:42 PM)
I have gone to my own inner core in very deep "subspace" before. It has taken me up to a week to recover. During that time, I journal intensely. Master and I don't communicate that much because I am still processing my thoughts and am not always very rational. He checks in on me, and reads every word of my journals, and redirects me as I need it. I usually spent a lot of time in silence, with my thoughts. Caretakr, your advice is right on target as to what helps me. It has been in those inner journeys where I began discovering myself, and where I was able to unlock the cage that had held me back. Sometimes it was frightening as hell, and other times amazingly exciting.

Caretakr -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 6:27:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I have gone to my own inner core in very deep "subspace" before. It has taken me up to a week to recover. During that time, I journal intensely. Master and I don't communicate that much because I am still processing my thoughts and am not always very rational. He checks in on me, and reads every word of my journals, and redirects me as I need it. I usually spent a lot of time in silence, with my thoughts. Caretakr, your advice is right on target as to what helps me. It has been in those inner journeys where I began discovering myself, and where I was able to unlock the cage that had held me back. Sometimes it was frightening as hell, and other times amazingly exciting. People think too much on the physical in this-that's only the input terminal. My priority is the processer-that's where the action is.[;)]

ownedgirlie -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 7:16:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr People think too much on the physical in this-that's only the input terminal. My priority is the processer-that's where the action is.[;)] Absolutely. It is where Master's focus is as well. Sometimes the physical is a means to get there, but the physical is not the goal in and of itself. He wants what's in my mind, heart, core.... It is a task, however, to splay the "essence" open for the taking.

Caretakr -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 7:40:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr People think too much on the physical in this-that's only the input terminal. My priority is the processer-that's where the action is.[;)] Absolutely. It is where Master's focus is as well. Sometimes the physical is a means to get there, but the physical is not the goal in and of itself. He wants what's in my mind, heart, core.... It is a task, however, to splay the "essence" open for the taking. I think one thing folks never quite get is this. Empathy and cognizance is the main tool of Mastery. It's a bit like being a shrink. I'll run a gamut of questions like this, with a supplicant. What is a top? What is a bottom? What is a submissive? What is a dominant? What is a slave? What is a master? What kind of people are they? And how do you feel about them? I can aspect the borders of an internal map in less than a few hours with methdologies like this. As I create an internal model of property, I get a more secure handle on it-I find buttons and landmines. And when I bump up against walls and barriers, I start feeling around for cracks in the walls-it's very invasive. Now, in a vanilla relationship-this would be considered inapropriate. Which is why I don't pursue them. I'm not interested in being with someone I have to dance around all the time-and placate. If I'm going to dance-I'll lead.

ownedgirlie -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 7:46:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr And when I bump up against walls and barriers, I start feeling around for cracks in the walls-it's very invasive. Now, in a vanilla relationship-this would be considered inapropriate. Which is why I don't pursue them. I'm not interested in being with someone I have to dance around all the time-and placate. If I'm going to dance-I'll lead. This is why I could not subscribe to the "Accept me as I am" mind set. I want to change. I *want* to improve. I want to bring out the good stuff that has been hidden. Doesn't make it easy, by any means. I am fortunate to be matched up with someone who likes to dig this stuff out [;)] (Edited for spelling correction)

Caretakr -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/4/2006 7:59:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr And when I bump up against walls and barriers, I start feeling around for cracks in the walls-it's very invasive. Now, in a vanilla relationship-this would be considered inapropriate. Which is why I don't pursue them. I'm not interested in being with someone I have to dance around all the time-and placate. If I'm going to dance-I'll lead. This is why I could not subscribe to the "Except me as I am" mind set. I want to change. I *want* to improve. I want to bring out the good stuff that has been hidden. Doesn't make it easy, by any means. I am fortunate to be matched up with someone who likes to dig this stuff out [;)] Developing property is fun, I hard limit people who want to hang onto bad habits, or bodies "because". The anaology I can draw is this. I buy a wooded lot,it's full of scrub, has holes in the ground, someone has dumped hills of trash on the thing. It's a mess-but it has potential. Now I would not be very happy living there in a tent,so I fire up the bulldozer. Scrape off and dump the trash and weeds, fill in the missing bits, and look at the raw "core". Now the land is not terribly happy at being reduced like this-but I have a plan for it. Cleaning up the place has given me a feel for it. I know what it's going to need now. First,we lay a foundation, then start building the structure from that. Before you know it, we have a house. good start..Then we decorate, fill in the grounds with landscaping-better and better. Pretty soon, the place is looking GOOD and the investment I made is really paying off. But if the land had said "NO NO NO!!!YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!!!!!!!" I would have found another plot. I'd rather live in a mansion-than a shack.

gardenbluebird -> RE: regaining balance after deep subspace (7/5/2006 7:34:01 AM)
Thank you for the advice. I followed much of it and took it easy on myself. Relaxed, took a nap, played in my garden which is always soothing for me. I wrote a little about my experiences. Feeling better now. I do think that more aftercare is needed after something like that. I will talk to my Master and request it.

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