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RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 6:50:31 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredProperty

Hlen5- to answer your question, I'm angry, disappointed in him, and I don't want to see him again. It doesn't help that he threatened to kill me, and said that I deserved it. He keeps telling me it's a small issue and reiterates the physical activities i have consented to, and how he's confused about this being different. But I appreciate all of everyone's feedback. It feels like the right thing to do to disconnect.

I was trying to keep an open mind until I read this.

Yeah, he's abusive.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 21

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 6:58:03 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredProperty

RedMagic1-- if you said go back, I would say I can't I absolutely don't trust being vulnerable to him again. I'm scared he will hurt me again, I'm incredibly disappointed and broken hearted because he was my air, and I just can't believe he would hurt me-- like this.

Then it was a dealbreaker for you. That seems more important to me than whether people vote on it being abuse, because the answer to the question might change from country to country. In rural India, women still sometimes have to marry their rapists. So it seems more important to me that you're true to yourself, and your own morality and boundaries, instead of taking cues from strangers on a message board who may or may not be right.

Edit: Wait. Who the F is Master L? Same dude?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 22

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 6:59:00 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

FR: This is abuse and I'm very glad you realize that. No one deserves to be hit in anger, just as no one deserves to have their life threatened.

Break all contact with him, phone, email, etc. It's the holidays, do you have family or friends you could stay with for a few days?

The reason I ask is that abusers are their most dangerous when you try to leave them. Make sure you are not alone.

Again, do not engage him for any reason, don't try to recover your stuff or whatever.

Seriously consider reporting him to the police, assault is a crime.

_____________________________

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 23

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:06:11 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Wait. Who the F is Master L? Same dude?

Huh? Oh, in her sig line in post 20...but not her earlier posts. That's weird.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 24

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:08:02 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

Can't signature lines be typed in, in the moment? Not actually a signature line?

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 25

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:09:57 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Yes, they can be typed in, but that would indicated she's just become under consideration, which would be strange timing.

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 26

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:11:23 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

Smiles... wouldn't it? Damn frying pans and jumping.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 27

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:19:13 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

sometimes I hit the add signature and sometimes I blow it off.
Right now its on.
I truly hope that L is the same dude and she has not quickly moved to another. Either way, if anyone said I deserved to be killed better watch his own back.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Wait. Who the F is Master L? Same dude?

Huh? Oh, in her sig line in post 20...but not her earlier posts. That's weird.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 12/23/2013 7:20:17 PM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 28

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:21:16 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Ohh, lol, thanks for clearing that up!

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 29

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:31:34 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredProperty

I have recently had a serious issue with my Master and I have not responded to his calls, or text messages. He's gone from blaming me, to apologizing, and now I believe what has transpired was abuse and not part of the lifestyle. He became very angry out of jealousy, and during an argument in anger he hit me, to the point that I required medical attention, am I being harsh on him, or correct in reading this as abuse? I am new to the lifestyle he is my only master...

Just from what you wrote, it sounds like abuse to me but without knowing you or him there's really no way to know. Are you afraid of him? Was it part of your relationship that you were ok with? Only you can answer this.

ETA: I'm going to guess the jealousy issue is she was caught cheating and the "Master L" is the Dom she was cheating with. Just a guess. Maybe the op will come back and let us know.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 12/23/2013 7:35:28 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Post #: 30

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:52:13 PM

CollaredProperty

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/3/2006
Status: offline

littlewonder-- I did not cheat on him, I have no idea who Master L is... that's something separate or someone's signature line.

_____________________________

slave susan
Under A Collar Of Consideration By Master L
Moved to Tulsa Oklahoma
"BDSM SLAVE ONLY, ALPHA TYPE, PASSION FOR EXTREME EDGE PLAY, IT IS NOT ABOUT SEX FOR ME, IT'S ABOUT TPE"

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 31

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 7:56:17 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredProperty

littlewonder-- I did not cheat on him, I have no idea who Master L is... that's something separate or someone's signature line.

Whaaat???
No. It's YOUR signature line. It can't belong to someone else. It's connected to your profile on this side.
So. Come clean. What's really going on?
I didn't question the arrival of a sig line, until you just laid that load of bull on us.
I don't know of any way that a signature line can get put on your posts without you knowing about it.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 32

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:02:14 PM

CollaredProperty

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/3/2006
Status: offline

Sorry I have no idea what that is, the jealousy issue between us was about my job--not a website. This master was my first and only experience with bdsm, and because of that there were many things, I thought were ok, and he told me were part of the lifestyle. But he really hates the social aspect of my job, I take people out to eat go on trips, and spend late nights working..I'm in medical sales and the bulk of my clients are male.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 33

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:05:45 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

Sooooooo. The sig line is magically gone.

What happened Collared? Really.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 34

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:06:32 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

If you didn't create the following signature line, you should go into My Profile on the top right of this page, change it, and change your password here and on the collarme side of the site:

quote:

slave susan
Under A Collar Of Consideration By Master L
Moved to Tulsa Oklahoma
"BDSM SLAVE ONLY, ALPHA TYPE, PASSION FOR EXTREME EDGE PLAY, IT IS NOT ABOUT SEX FOR ME, IT'S ABOUT TPE"

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 35

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:08:45 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

Sooooooo. The sig line is magically gone.

What happened Collared? Really.

Sometimes she clicked the "Add signature" box when she posted and sometimes she didn't.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 36

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:11:51 PM

CollaredProperty

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/3/2006
Status: offline

I don't know what the signature line is.. when I click add signature... that signature was showing up.. but I'm not slave susan.. and I have no idea who Master L could be... I am most definitely NOT looking for a Master-- and I wasn't looking for another while we were together... my adjustment to the lifestyle was such a process and just overwhelming at timess.. that I'm considering leaving the lifestyle after this experience... it seemed that too many lines were blurred and the very thing I feared happened.. we had conversations early on.. about the difference between bdsm and abuse...

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 37

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:11:52 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

I just looked on the OP's profile. It's a couples profile looking for a unicorn.

OP. Help me out here.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 38

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:16:58 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I don't know what the signature line is.. when I click add signature... that signature was showing up.. but I'm not slave susan.. and I have no idea who Master L could be...

Remove the sig line from My Profile and change your passwords on both this, collarchat, and the profile side of the site - collarme. You may need to contact Support as well. http://www.collarme.com/personals/supportmsg.htm

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 39

RE: When is it abuse? - 12/23/2013 8:18:05 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredProperty

littlewonder-- I did not cheat on him, I have no idea who Master L is... that's something separate or someone's signature line.

Ok, the profile you are writing out of was started in 2006.

And this was one of your posts:
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=418124

So if this is not you then you should go to the other side and get help from support.

http://www.collarme.com/personals/support.htm

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to CollaredProperty)

Post #: 40

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