How often? curious

How often? curious (Full Version)

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CandiDanielz -> How often? curious (12/29/2013 12:36:18 PM)
So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind. My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!)) My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple? Sorry if I'm not making any sense

Galacia -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 12:39:47 PM)
Once a night.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 12:44:27 PM)
For us, he is the boss all of the time. He has certain expectations for how I should behave, but there's not a lot of barking orders because we know each other well and things run smoothly. Most of our days are taken up with every day stuff - work, housework, errands, family stuff, hobbies etc. From the outside, you wouldn't know that we are D/s, but it is always there as the backbone of our relationship. I don't wear a collar around, he doesn't stand over me with the riding crop while I'm cooking his dinner, but I serve him in small ways by making his life better. I run his errands so he doesn't have to. I cook his favourite dishes. I make sure he always has lots of clean socks in his preferred style because he changes them about fifteen times a day.... As far as actual kinky playtime - for us it doesn't happen often! We have a toddler and rarely get a babysitter, so often we don't get chance to do elaborate scenes. Whenever we have sex there is usually a little bit of kink involved, if only a little bit of pain play or handcuffs - it's just what turns up both on.

kiwisub12 -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 1:09:54 PM)
With my late dom, I would remove all my clothes when I hit the door after work. Then I would get to do really fun stuff like cook dinner and clean the bathroom. Of course, I was naked while I did it, so I had to be a bit more careful. You really don't want to dangle a boob over a boiling pot....... [:@] I had rules to follow, and after the first month they were routine, and natural. So, I really didn't have the girly bits thrilling thing that we had in the beginning, but it was what my Sir wanted, so that's what I did. We lived it 24/7, but it was just the way we lived our lives, it wasn't "special", it was normal. With my sweetie - there isn't any of that. He is a sadist and not dominant, so there aren't any rules. Because I love him and am also submissive as well as masochistic, I do things that he likes or enjoys. We live rather vanilla - all except for the middle bedroom that has a spanking bench and a cross, and a rather large assortment of nasty stingy things. [:D] I have lived 24/7, and am living very vanilla now, and one isn't better than the other. Its just different. I found the relationship that I wanted, and the way we lived evolved from there. Live is fun![:D]

DesFIP -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 3:20:34 PM)
We're a normal couple but he has the right to make any decision he wants to. Whether that means I need to be naked and spanked or that he wants to grill burgers instead of me making chicken and pasta. We discuss things usually. He isn't arbitrary and uncaring. As to sex and play, we've both got some chronic health problems that can and do interfere.

NuevaVida -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 3:49:27 PM)
He's the boss of me 24/7. He listens to my input but ultimately I do what he says. Always. Sex is when he wants it, how he wants it. Same with kink.

shadowborn61 -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 4:05:14 PM)
It depends on what works best for you. Some people live it 24/7 and some only as play to spice up the bedroom and all variations in between.

HntersToy -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 4:24:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind. My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!)) My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple? Sorry if I'm not making any sense This is embedded in me. I live my life knowing that I have an owner, I am not my own, but am owned. My feelings at times do not matter, do not count, can not be heard.....It is all about Him. And I rather like that!

Greta75 -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 4:32:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple? Honestly, there is no official way of doing this. Every couple have different lifestyle and different schedules. It is up to you and him to decide how everything will work out and suit your own lifestyle. When I was in my full time relationship, it was kinda easy going, technically, his always the dom, and I am always the sub 24/7. But he kinda gave me control as to when I need him to be a normal boyfriend to me, by simply letting him know, "I want my boyfriend right now!" And he would switch to his vanilla mode. Other than that, I insist that infront of friends and family, we behave completely as an equal couple.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 5:01:02 PM)
Welcome to the discussion side, Candi. For some, D/s is only in the bedroom, and it's up to the specific couple to make the rules as to how often they get kinky. For some it's every time they have sex, for others sex isn't even involved. It is (unfortunately) fairly common for a male sub to initiate D/s into the relationship, and then get all greedy and want it all the time. If that's what's happening, have a conversation along the lines of you'll dom when you feel like it. During the meantime educate yourself as much as possible.

ResidentSadist -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 6:06:52 PM)
The M/s protocol like proper address (Sir & Master), asking permission, the curtsy and kneeling is 24/7. Hell, she even wakes up smiling and says "yes Sir." BDSM rituals like her sleeping chained, kissing my feet in worship and "have you had your spankings today?" are pretty much daily. Rough S&M scenes like bloodsport, asphyxiation, needles and stuff is weekly. Social leather activities like the public dungeon or NLA meetings are monthly or more.

DarkSteven -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 6:42:02 PM)
At parties/munches and in play sessions, I'm in charge. That's four to maybe eight hours a week. When the two of us are alone at home, I'm sorta in charge. That's maybe eight to twenty hours a week. The rest of the time, we're at work, eating out, shopping, etc., and/or in the presence of vanillas. We're vanilla then.

OsideGirl -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 6:51:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind. My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!)) My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple? Sorry if I'm not making any sense First, I think you need to remember that D/s and BDSM are not the same thing. We live in a D/s relationship 24/7. He is the dominant partner, he makes the decisions and is control. I follow, obey and anticipate his needs. BDSM is play time. While we often get little spurts here and there, figure it pretty much happens as often as we have sex.

shadowborn61 -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 7:24:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt It is (unfortunately) fairly common for a male sub to initiate D/s into the relationship, and then get all greedy and want it all the time. If that's what's happening, have a conversation along the lines of you'll dom when you feel like it. I found myself doing this in the beginning and my wife tried to accommodate me at first and that was a mistake we both made. Now She only Doms me when and if She feels like it and it is MUCH better for both of us.

FieryOpal -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 7:38:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt For some, D/s is only in the bedroom, and it's up to the specific couple to make the rules as to how often they get kinky. For some it's every time they have sex, for others sex isn't even involved. It is (unfortunately) fairly common for a male sub to initiate D/s into the relationship, and then get all greedy and want it all the time. If that's what's happening, have a conversation along the lines of you'll dom when you feel like it. Isn't that the truth, give them an inch of whatever BDSM kink they're into and they want a mile. [&:] I insist that there is no such thing as part-time D/s because it's a mental frame of mind. It's no different in that sense from always being fully aware that you are married or who you belong to no matter where you are regardless of actual presence (unless your marriage is falling apart or your relationship as a couple has deteriorated). With my sub partner, behaving like a gentleman and being attentive suffices. I'm not going to make him kneel or wear a collar when we go out in public; I don't have anything to prove to feed my ego. As far as PDA goes, I enjoy having a demonstrative partner who isn't going to wait for me to initiate everything all the time. That's for the birds.

littlewonder -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 7:49:22 PM)
Both. We're a normal couple like any other but he's also always the head of the household. He is king of the roost. His word and actions are law. It's as simple as that.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 7:57:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal <snip> I insist that there is no such thing as part-time D/s because it's a mental frame of mind. It's no different in that sense from always being fully aware that you are married or who you belong to no matter where you are regardless of actual presence... This has been my (limited) experience too. When the D drops the D, for any significant length of time, I lose the s. Then (for me), with the D/s gone missing, any bdsm loses its power. So, while I don't want 24/7 bdsm, I do need some undercurrent of D/s 24/7 in the relationship.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 8:29:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind. My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!)) My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple? Sorry if I'm not making any sense You're 22....you'll figure it out. You've come this far. Read....every day. Honey, you're 22, you're a child...I'll offer some advice: Find the right guy and then, when you have....do it. If he wants to fuck an alien with 3M sandpaper attached to (your) tentacles (or his gills), and it's some sort of crazy fucked up sci fi gig, and it makes him want to get up in the morning and slay dragons for you....wear a goddamned sci fi tentacle suit. Yeah....that's all I have to add.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 8:48:43 PM)
Her profile says she's a fin domme looking for a "looser pig to buy her pretty things". I'd say she already has it figured out.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: How often? curious (12/29/2013 10:06:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 Her profile says she's a fin domme looking for a "looser pig to buy her pretty things". I'd say she already has it figured out. Right then....disregard my entire previous comment then.

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