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Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/30/2013 8:39:40 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

I received the following question from a prospective Domme today:
Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ?

And, I'm *not* asking for you to answer the question for me.

I'm asking for insight into the meaning of the question.

Just to clarify, what the difference is, to you, (or should be to me), between the two.

My confusion lies, I think, in my thinking of a "Master" as a male, while a Mistress, to me, is the same thing, only female.

However, since the question decidedly is posed by a female, the former interpretation must be deprecated, leaving a vacuous hole in my mind what a Domme would consider a "Master" to be.

Of course, the common answer should/will/could be "Why are you asking me ... Just ask her", but, I ask here, nonetheless - mostly so as to get a better feeling for what the two words mean, in the perhaps not-so-common language of the D/s crowd.

Of course, I know that a perfectly reasonable answer should/will/could be that "it means whatever the two of you want it to mean", but, what I'm asking is more of a D/s cultural question, assuming I'm a relative newbie, to the vernacular.

Hence, I ask with some intrepidation:
In the D/s culture that *you* live in, what would that question mean to you, were it coming from a (previously Pro) female Dominant and given to a (decidedly newbie) male submissive?

Post #: 1

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/30/2013 8:50:39 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

Meh, the whole "Goddess Mistress" caused me to eye roll a bit...but I realize it's probably not your choice of wording.

Id say go with your frame of reference when answering this question. If you define "Master" as a male term and "Mistress" as the female counterpart, that's fine because it's how you see it and it will make your answer more genuine to your situation. Keep in mind that identification of any sort of role is highly subjective. There honestly is no "one true BDSM cultural" answer. If I'm wrong, I hope a leather person can and will set me straight...but I THINK that females can be "Master" in leather culture. But I will say that I know zero about it to be 100% sure. What I see as a slave, you might not see. To someone who feels females can be/are masters, they will see it differently than you do. Doesn't make one right and the other incorrect. It's all a matter of how you see it in relation to what works for you.

If it were me and based on my own interpretation, Id probably think along the same lines as you are on this. But that is just my interpretation, not THE interpretation. I come from the background of formerly being a female dominant (I personally always hated being referred to as "Mistress"), but who now considers herself selectively switch (ie. I only sub to my guy).

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 12/30/2013 8:58:29 PM >

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Post #: 2

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/30/2013 9:06:36 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ilyrium
I received the following question from a prospective Domme today:
Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ?

And, I'm *not* asking for you to answer the question for me.

I'm asking for insight into the meaning of the question.

In the leather tradition, Master is a gender-neutral term. In some circles, it's a title that's earned, and, along with receipt of the title, the person is given an item, like a "Master's cover," which is a hat. (Think "gay leather daddy cap" and you'll probably know the one.)

In more recent BDSM, and more onliney stuff, I've seen women use Master as a way to bend genders. Sort of like a hetero woman who enjoys being called daddy when she pegs her boyfriend. If the email used the term "Goddess Mistress," the writer is probably coming from the online world. That term feels very cyber and "professional" to me.

The pragmatic answer to your question probably is: the meaning behind the question was that the woman who wrote you wanted to size up your fetishes as quickly as possible, so she could maximize her chances of making some money off you.

I'd find it very interesting to hear women's reasons for enjoying being called Master, especially if it's outside of a leather tradition. There's something going on there that I don't understand.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Post #: 3

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/30/2013 10:18:29 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Jokes about Johnny Carson's bit about the Great Carnac aside, here's My input.

I don't know if I can help you from a D/s culture type of standpoint. Just a leather one. Leather protocol as it is today (and it wasn't always this way) says the gender of a person earning their leather is not of any consequence. My Master's cover doesn't become a Mistress hat just because I happen to be female. Seniority matters more than gender from a leather perspective.

Had I been asked the question, I probably wouldn't have taken the writer seriously. This is just a personal thing, but I've never been all that big on the "Goddess" title. I could probably count on both hands the number of people that have taken that particular honorific that I take seriously and probably still have fingers left over.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 4

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/30/2013 11:15:10 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

Goddess Mistress =

and

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 5

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 6:22:43 AM

HipPoindexter

Posts: 188
Joined: 12/20/2013
Status: offline

OP--You seem really uptight and fixated on learning all your vocabulary words for the big exam. I like you. You remind me of me, when I was your age.

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still ain't nothin' move but the money

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 6

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 1:15:12 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Goddess Mistress? Wow, to me, that title "Goddess" means someone is really full of herself. lol I never liked the term much, "Ma'am" is a lot less assuming but still respectful.

NBMG

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(in reply to HipPoindexter)

Post #: 7

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 2:42:58 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Unfortunately, the terms for females is not well standardized. Some prefer to be thought of as female Masters. Some as Mistresses. Some as just Dommes.

I believe that all hate the term Goddess unless they're pros.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 3:19:28 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

My first suspicion would be that she buys into the female supremacist thing, at least as a pose. Hints of 'As a Goddess, my main (and perhaps only) role is to be worshipped by males - they tribute me [etc., etc.] just for being who I am. Masters have to do a lot more to earn submission because they're male, therefore ordinary mortals' Or similar.

I could easily be wrong. That question wouldn't be a good sign for me though, I have to say.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Post #: 9

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 4:01:08 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Goddess Mistress = and

Yeah, I hear ya loud and clear... I prefer "Goddess Queen" myself...

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 10

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 4:04:24 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Goddess Mistress? Wow, to me, that title "Goddess" means someone is really full of herself. lol I never liked the term much, "Ma'am" is a lot less assuming but still respectful.

NBMG

Agreed, although some women take exception to being called either Ma'am or Miss. General rule of thumb, "Ma'am" should be okay when addressing all married women and those 30+; if single and in their 20s or younger, then "Miss" is more befitting.

Isn't the term "Goddess Mistress" redundant?

Actually I think the message writer was trying to differentiate between the common usage, or non-D/s meaning of "mistress," but simply capitalizing it as "Mistress" would have been good enough.
IMO, this should be a red flag that this Domme is either seeking clientèle and/or is new to Domming. Your call whether that sort of thing is what you're interested in.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 11

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 7:05:02 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Goddess Mistress = and

Yeah, I hear ya loud and clear... I prefer "Goddess Queen" myself...

Oh, have I got a deal for you!

It will only be a little name calling, maybe a candy cane, with a touch of ginger and we might even pull out the sandpaper, alcohol and a paddle. You just have to buy my bridge first.

(in reply to subfever)

Post #: 12

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 8:29:20 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni
You just have to buy my bridge first.

:)

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 13

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 8:36:01 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HipPoindexter
OP--You seem really uptight and fixated on learning all your vocabulary words for the big exam. I like you. You remind me of me, when I was your age.

Yeah.Here's some context into the question ...

I'm studying right now for the pop quiz that this to-remain-unnamed Goddess Mistress mailed me which was the impetus that had prompted the curious question .......

quote:

TELL ME

How long have you bee on CM ?

YOUR NAME

I am Goddess Mistress REDACTED

YOUR AGE

WHERE YOU LIVE

WHAT DO YOU DO

what exactly do you seek in BDSM

do you need a master or a Goddess mistress ?

how long have you been in this lifestyle

how many mistress served in the past

what was your experience like with your past mistress

have you been collared by any of them

have you ever served any online mistress before

how long have you been on this site ?

how many mistress have you met on there since you opened your profile

what exactly do you desire to find in a mistress right now

do you think you can find all Your desire in me

If am going to consider having you as a slave i need to be sure you are dedicated to this:

Firstly, i dominate a slave at a time.

I am not a pro-domme

I need to know you better if I will be able to allow you to serve me... send a message to my email and let me know you

You will write an e-mail to me now with the Subject " CM 2Slave and your city"

Its an Order.... write to me by mail and tell me things I dont know that I needed to know about You... It may be short or brief, just make sure you let me know You

REDACTED@yahoo.com

And no slave of mine will serve any other mistress as long as she is dedicated to me.
you will need to terminate your account if am going to consider having you as a slave

The rules and regulations will be sent to your mailbox after reading your response and once you are through reading it, let me know. with Your response.

(in reply to HipPoindexter)

Post #: 14

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 12/31/2013 8:38:10 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

I'm redacting the personal information, but, the rules for this "Goddess Mistress" which were sent to my email are the following (which are pretty good - but which, googling, I found were cribbed) ...........

quote:

--------What is slavery ?
slavery is not about suffering . . .
. . . slavery is about service.
slavery is not about humiliation . . .
. . . slavery is about humility.
slavery is not about pain . . .
. . . slavery is about being present.
slavery is not about being used . . .
. . . slavery is about being of use.
slavery is not about control . . .
. . . slavery is about letting go.
slavery is not about your desires . . .
. . . slavery is about giving to others.
slavery is not about abuse . . .
. . . slavery is about acceptance.
slavery is not about proving anything . . .
. . . slavery is about being real.
slavery is not about contempt . . .
. . . slavery is about respect.
slavery is not about how you look . . .
. . . slavery is about how you care.
slavery is not about denying yourself . . .
. . . slavery is about being open.
slavery is not about punishment . . .
. . . slavery is about discipline.
slavery is not about escape . . .
. . . slavery is about being committed.
slavery is not about slavery . . .
. . . slavery is about obedience.
slavery is not about fear . . .
. . . slavery is about trust.
slavery is not about sex . . .
. . . slavery is about love.
slavery is not about pleasure . . .
. . . slavery is about happiness.

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Post #: 15

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 1/1/2014 12:44:51 AM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Goddess Mistress = and

Yeah, I hear ya loud and clear... I prefer "Goddess Queen" myself...

Oh, have I got a deal for you! It will only be a little name calling, maybe a candy cane, with a touch of ginger and we might even pull out the sandpaper, alcohol and a paddle. You just have to buy my bridge first.

Oooo... that sounds enticing. Let's see the bridge. I got lotsa funny money...

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 16

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 1/1/2014 3:25:26 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

[On my phone so please forgive any typos]

To the first question, even with the added context I think it really is as simple as asking whether you want a male or female dominant.

As for the quiz... she claims it's so she can know you better, yet there's fuck all in there to suggest that she's even faintly interested in you as a person.

Now, it may be that you're looking for a relationship in which you're not a person... In which case, fair enough, but if you're looking for a more functional relationship then I'd view the quiz as a red flag.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Post #: 17

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 1/1/2014 8:53:15 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Yea "Goddess" pretty much makes me eye roll as well.

IMHO, I think of "Master" as male and Mistress as female.
But I suppose one can be a master of something and still be female.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 18

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 1/2/2014 2:09:22 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I'm not and never have been called Goddess but I have to ask, why is Goddess any more ridiculous than Master/Mistress?

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 19

RE: Question: Do you need a Master or a Goddess Mistress ? - 1/2/2014 10:21:02 AM

FriendlyMuppet

Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline

Sometimes I think people work too hard to compartmentalize others in the discipline. At one point in my life, I was in a major exploration period of bdsm, where I was meeting all sorts of different people (because I've always been good at meeting people and inserting myself into communities where I probably wouldn't have been a few days previously), and I started to notice that practically every community I was becoming involved with had some kind of protocol built into their interactions with people that with another couple wouldn't have made sense. An example: I was owned by a woman at the time who was very feminine and desired her slave to be very masculine, yet submissive towards her. Her best friend, also a long time friend of mine, was a harbinger (yes, I use that word by choice) of the "old guard" mentality and even in conversations with me while my mistress was present, she couldn't bring herself to be as couple friendly (specifically to me in intermix interactions) because her "old" ways just wouldn't allow her to do so. For me, this was never much of a problem, as it just meant being flexible to the point of realizing when she came into the room, the "slave" was no longer allowed to sit on furniture. When she was gone, all was fine (plus every other variation that you can possibly imagine). Yeah, I could have used the trump card of "I only do what my mistress commands" but as the compliance approach seemed to keep everyone happy, sometimes you just have to play things by ear and hope for the best resolution.

_____________________________

My Novels:
The Cell's Door: http://amzn.to/19I6VA1
Forced to Serve: http://amzn.to/108DByv

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 20

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