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Need a mistress! - 1/2/2014 11:09:36 PM

Ryannnnnnnnnn

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/2/2014
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Are there any mistresses out there that aren't looking for money or making me sign up for crap, that would like a sub..

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:00:04 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ryannnnnnnnnn

Are there any mistresses out there that aren't looking for money or making me sign up for crap, that would like a sub..

Yes there are.

In your profile you say "I also love to worship bodies and feet and made to beg." Are you your fetish? Are you your kink?
What exactly do you have to offer a woman besides your fetish and/or kink? What do you bring to the table, young man, as a person?

Now let me ask you this:

Are there any subs out there who aren't looking for an instant BDSM delivery system?

If you treat Dominant women like they are supposed to be your personal gratification provider instead of a person in her own right, then that's precisely what you can expect to end up with--a (professional) provider.
Incidentally,

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 1/3/2014 12:08:26 AM >

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:18:18 AM

Ryannnnnnnnnn

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/2/2014
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Ah okay thank you so much, I am new to this so I'm not sure what to look for..

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:27:28 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ryannnnnnnnnn

Ah okay thank you so much, I am new to this so I'm not sure what to look for..

Being new at your age, perhaps you should set your sights on finding a kinky girlfriend first, then ease yourselves into a regular relationship where you can both explore your interests together. Time is on your side, so there really is no need to rush. In other words, don't put the cart before the horse.

You have a good attitude, so I think you'll do just fine.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:29:49 AM

Ryannnnnnnnnn

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/2/2014
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Thank you really boosted my confidence haha, none of the girls I like/know are into bdsm and I like older girls;/

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:30:24 AM

isoLadyOwner

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/22/2006
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In general if you can lose egocentricity entirely it will make you far more desirable than the average sub.

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:42:34 AM

Ryannnnnnnnnn

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Ah so I should aim to please rather than receive?

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:43:14 AM

MsMJAY

Posts: 515
Joined: 3/17/2013
Status: offline

Hi ryan. Welcome to the site. I know you are new to this but I would suggest you try to remember that Dominant women are not much different that other women in most ways. A woman likes to be sought out for herself, not her kink. There is nothing wrong with kink of course but its more important that you treat her like a lady and not like a "Mistress." Talk about you as a person and try to get to know her as a person.

The women asking you to sign up for things and asking you for money are probably not seeking a partner. They are looking for paid clients. (Make it a general rule to NEVER send anyone money from online.) It is not easy meeting dominant women, because there are just so few of us compared to the number of submissive males. I would suggest that you get involved with your local kink community. Make friends and get to know other kinksters in your area. You will learn more about the lifestyle and maybe get in some real time experience.

I wish you much success in your search.

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 12:51:47 AM

Ryannnnnnnnnn

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Ah okay I understand now thank you so much!

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 1:36:34 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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You sound sweet, Ryan. It sounds like you are willing to work at this.

I second the suggestion to find a local group - male subs tend to get lost in the crowd online. If you're not already on fetlife, go sign up. You should be able to search your local area for a munch - that's just a regular meeting of kinky folks, usually just at a restaurant or something, so there's no kinky play and no pressure. Make some friends. You might want to search for a 'TNG' (The Next Generation) group to find folks nearer your own age. I know you like older girls but your local kink community will probably mostly be MUCH older than you - think parents and grandparents - and since you are 18 even most of the TNG group will be a bit older than you.

Take your time, experiment and don't rush. How do you know none of the girls you know are into kink? Go on lots of dates, make it known that you are up for experimenting in the bedroom. College- aged girls are also experimental. You might not find the domme of your dreams that way, but you will gain some valuable experience in relationships.

And welcome to the site.

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 5:41:08 AM

DarkSteven

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Ryan, there's a magic secret to getting women.

Be the kind of person they want to spend time with.

For women, that generally means conversation. Talk with them. Kid them around. Make them enjoy time spent with you.

The play, and kink, and Domination, sorta follows from that.

Welcome to this world. And the site.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 5:52:13 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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Ryan, you're in Houston. Big cities have numerous groups. Look for a TNG ( the next generation) geared to the under 35 crowd.

Also, read the stickies located at the top of each forum sub section and find the book list. The more you educate yourself, the more chance you have of finding what you want.

Welcome to the non-profile side.

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 5:54:04 AM

DarkSteven

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Oh, I started a thread on just what Dommes are looking for. http://www.collarchat.com/m_4419646/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4419646

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 8:26:17 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Are there any subs out there who aren't looking for an instant BDSM delivery system?

Nominated for Sunny Quote of the Day.

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Sylverë
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30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 9:05:18 AM

FriendlyMuppet

Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ryannnnnnnnnn

Thank you really boosted my confidence haha, none of the girls I like/know are into bdsm and I like older girls;/

You'd be SHOCKED at how many women you think aren't into bdsm that actually are, or at least are seriously interested in it once they come in contact with someone who is a part of the lifestyle. It used to surprise me in the early days when I'd be dating a woman, only to discover that once she realized I was submissive, she started gravitating towards dominating me. In a couple of cases, I dated very vanilla women, only to have them learn more about the lifestyle from me, become professional dominants soon after and then dump me because I wasn't as hard core enough for them (that was a strange period in my life, but I like to think it was a "positive" time rather than think of it in a bad way...glass three quarters full and all that).

So, the point I'm making is that you really shouldn't just dismiss the possibility of finding someone who isn't a professional dominant, an established kinkster, or someone who knows everything about the lifestyle in hopes of connecting with someone. While that can happen as well, eradicating potential partners in lieu of seeking a holy grail on the first try can sometimes be an elusive experience.

That doesn't mean you won't find someone here, so I don't want to turn you off of that either, but to paraphrase Woody Allen, leaving your options open means more potential dates on a Saturday night (massively paraphrasing, obviously).

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 9:42:16 AM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Are there any subs out there who aren't looking for an instant BDSM delivery system?

Nominated for Sunny Quote of the Day.

How is that "sunny" in any way? It certainly isn't bright and uplifting. All it is, is a very boring re-write of an overused quip.

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If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 10:56:46 AM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Are there any subs out there who aren't looking for an instant FREE BDSM delivery system?

Edited to tell more of the story.

Welcome Ryan. You've gotten some great advice. I think connecting with your local community will be your best bet. Very best of luck to you.

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 11:01:47 AM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

How is that "sunny" in any way? It certainly isn't bright and uplifting. All it is, is a very boring re-write of an overused quip.

Sunny is a long-time poster here. I don't think Sunny quotes have to be uplifting and bright, just pertinent.

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 11:12:49 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Are there any subs out there who aren't looking for an instant BDSM delivery system?

Nominated for Sunny Quote of the Day.

How is that "sunny" in any way? It certainly isn't bright and uplifting. All it is, is a very boring re-write of an overused quip.

You must be new here.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Need a mistress! - 1/3/2014 11:44:11 AM

VideoAdminChi

Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
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Nominations for Sunny Quote of the Day

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hello everyone,
I would like to thank you all for the kind words I've received during the time I started and maintained the quote of the day. I have enjoyed very much turning a spotlight onto something wonderful that another person has said. All too often, the world gets caught up in disagreements, negativity, and (sometimes) bickering. I really wanted to bring some joy to the boards because CM and the people here have been (and continue to be) such a support to me.

When I began the QOTD, I set up a few rules for myself.

1. NOTHING HURTFUL
A quote of the day should never be applied to a mean-spirited post. That is, if it was clever and witty but was poking fun at someone even a little bit, it was not eligible for the quote of the day. (Even if it was toward someone I thought could take a joke. Too many things can get misconstrued, I could be wrong, someone could be having a rough day, etc. Just don't do it, sunshine.).

2. THERE'S ENOUGH TO GO AROUND
The pie (or 3.14) is big enough for everybody. If someone recently got a QOTD, then despite clever witticisms, I did my best to find someone else to give the QOTD to. I did not always succeed in this, but it was always a goal for this thread.

3. WARM, SUNNY QUOTES
The quote of the day is not MY (sunshine's) quote of the day, but it had to be a sunny quote - something that made me smile and feel warm. I know heather has actually made them possessive (sunny's), and I've taken a hands-off approach to this. I handed it over to her at the time, and I left it alone. I felt that it was done out of respect, and I've appreciated that on more than one level.

4. THINGS THAT MAKE YOU STOP
The quote of the day never had any rhyme or reason - it just was something that made me think, made me laugh, made me say "good on you" or something like that. I tried to let it just happen. There were days - even weeks - when there were no quotes because nothing did that for me. It is purely subjective, and I make no apologies for my own personal sense of humor or choices.