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FieryOpal -> RE: New at being dominatrix (1/14/2014 3:00:45 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: epiphiny43
.... Most of the 'Pro Domme' porn is male fantasy material, the pros being more role playing service Dommes. This may inform how to be what he wants at the time. Being a real Domme would seem to me to be to discover your own dominant side and explore that. Use others for ideas but pay close attention to your own feelings and responses to find your personal style. As I think you have intuited, faking it will deeply disappoint him, and you.
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Welcome to FemDom, and good luck on spreading your wings. Since you aren't sure what your own preferences are other than you say you are enjoying yourself so far with what your husband has been suggesting, playful experimentation will spark your desires. In the pursuit of opening yourself up to these new experiences, be mindful that some kink fantasies don't translate very well to real-life scenes or that there may be a progression involved. As in learning to crawl before walking, much less taking off in full sprint. There's plenty of time for exploration, so if at any point you feel your being led by your husband is becoming a pattern in your marital relationship, you should rein him in, as you are the Dominant in charge and he has already consented to submit to your authority. Enthusiasm can easily turn into greediness. (This can work both ways, of course, with Dom/me fever as well as sub fever.)
quote:
ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
... it's quite common for newish subs to be very greedy, AND to have a fantasy in their head for how the dominant should behave.
As has been pointed out, you're the dom, you can cut the greediness bit in the bud whenever you want (and you should).
As for the sub's fantasies for how you should behave, well you might not meet that, and you don' t have to (unless their fantasy and your reality are worlds apart)....
it's up to you to decide what fantasies you may want to fulfill, and what you desire.
I used to know a male sub whose vanilla wife started to get on board with him and became receptive to the idea of spicing things up with kinky sex. Their marriage was starting to fall apart prior to that. He was so excited by the prospect of turning his wife into his Domme-Mistress, that he started getting pushy with her. ("I want you to take control of my cock [right away].") She was barely getting into the right headspace, when he started in on the strap-on sex scenario, before she was acclimated to doing anal play and wasn't used to playing with a man's ass yet. This turned her off so much that she refused to participate in his kinkfest any longer. They're still married, but last I heard, he described it as they were more like strangers living under the same roof, and no matter how often he offered to service her - orally & coitally - he was lucky if she would tide him over by jerking him off once every month or two, and that she wanted to be left alone while using a vibrator when she masturbated.
quote:
Here's a hint from someone who's been doing this for awhile: Always leave them wanting more.
Words for ALL women to live by since Time Immemorial. [:D]
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