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RE: for whoever - 7/6/2006 5:48:41 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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I cannot speak for other slaves or subs but i can speak for myself and in my opinion and experience i have found that my submission as a slave has made my relationship closer than that of when i was a sub.
Of course i will listen to any 'facts' you can offer in return.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Post #: 21

RE: for whoever - 7/6/2006 6:10:53 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I cannot speak for other slaves or subs but i can speak for myself and in my opinion and experience i have found that my submission as a slave has made my relationship closer than that of when i was a sub.
Of course i will listen to any 'facts' you can offer in return.

My last Dom I referred to as Master and had much more of a slavish type relationship than with my Daddy. I could not question my former dom whatsoever if he told me to do something. That relationship ended without me feeling at all "close"to him. I can feel a completely different level of closeness developing with my new Daddy, and although this relationship has much more room to grow, it is one in which I feel as though I am closer to him than I could ever have been to the one I called "Master". It is much more intimate and so far more closer.

I think that it is the needs of the couple that define the relationship and that foster closeness. I am suited for a Daddy/darling relationship... not a slave/Master one. If I was vanilla then that relationship would foster closeness between me and my mate. It is what we are comfortable with that breeds intimacy. I am growing to deeply trust the person I am submitting to more and more all the time because it "feels right".

I just watched my vanilla mother lose her second lifemate after 20 years, she has lost two lifemates now (one being my father). She nursed my stepfather for two years after he suffered brain damage until he died.... The level of trust he had in her would make your head swim and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. He couldnt see, she was his eyes. The ability to trust others has nothing to so with BDSM, it is a human thing. I hope I find the person that I know I could count on through it all, even illness.. because I certainly can be trusted... it has nothing to do with what I call my partner either.... just my thoughts

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 22

RE: for whoever - 7/6/2006 6:37:04 PM

WetHotGoddess

Posts: 128
Joined: 5/18/2006
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I am going to answer this one even though no one respects me because I do not have a clue.. (I have been told by someone who has one!)

All relationships are different and so the level of closeness will vary between individuals, no matter what label they give themselves.

Arielthegreat

(in reply to mslave2bcollared)

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Post #: 23

RE: for whoever - 7/6/2006 6:49:11 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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Julia, i am glad you have found the closeness you desire and wish you all the best.
I am so sorry about your father and stepfather, the kind of devotion and trust you speak of is a precious thing.
I guess we both just differ on what we have found to be a more close relationship but at least we have both found one.
Respectfully x

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Post #: 24

RE: for whoever - 7/7/2006 11:22:35 AM

Mavis

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Joined: 2/8/2004
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i am in both a sub and a slave relationship, and to me they have very different levels of expectations and allowances.. but by no means is one deeper, more commited, or closer because of those differences.

The submissive ear often hears implications their service is less meaningful or committed because they have more negotiating power.

The slave ear often hears they offer less because they don't continually re-make the decision to submit and that makes it easier so it sounds like mindless obedience.. this sub vs slave debate goes on because of the way we imply the label we choose is somehow superior.

i have seen nilla relationships with more deep abiding love and passion to please than some BDSM unions, as we all have. There can be any level of joy -- or misery -- in D/s, M/s or Nilla/Nilla relationships. In all cases, the expectations might be slightly different, but what makes one "better" is how close that couple comes to meeting the expectations they have for their relationship.

Methinks.
your milage may vary.
concentrating and inhaling contents may be harmful.

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Post #: 25

RE: for whoever - 7/7/2006 12:33:43 PM

MHOO314

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Joined: 9/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

fast reply

it is like asking "Who takes marriage more seriously, blondes with blue eyes or blondes with brown eyes".

uh oh, I haven't seen My natural hair color in 40 years, but I do have blue eyes!

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Mistress Hathor

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Post #: 26

RE: for whoever - 7/8/2006 6:31:33 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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I think it can be just as a strong bond. As a slave I dont think being one makes me more devoted than a sub. We all have different needs.

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Post #: 27

RE: for whoever - 7/8/2006 12:32:59 PM

selenaMD

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/1/2006
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To the OP:

selena feels that there is not really a way to compare these two ideas. if a person identifies as a submissive and get involved in a realationship with a Dominant they care about they will give their all in the realtionship. conversely if a slave gets involved in a realationship with a Master/Mistress, they will give their all in the relationship. in either case the connection will be equally strong, it is only covered with different lables depending on what it is the two parties involved choose to identify themselves as. also, if during the course of a realtionship both parties decide to change the dynamic from sub/Dom for slave/Master it will certainly "feel" a bit different, but selena doesn't feel the level of commitment is going to change. every realationship grows and changes over time, be it vanilla or BDSM, a deeper bond will develop as trust develops, but it has nothing to do with the labels with which people choose to identify themselves with.

selena{MD}
devoted property of Master Mark

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Post #: 28

RE: for whoever - 7/8/2006 3:41:23 PM

Curiossdragnlily

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Joined: 4/4/2006
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Yes. The love and bond can be just as strong and deep as a M/s relationship. The dynamics are just different. If Y/you think about it, the M/s relationship is a D/s type of relationship during the beginning when the negotiations are happening. Master and i started off as a D/s relationship. But thru the patience, trust, communication, and nuturing my true self was able to emerge to Him.
with respect,
lily, collared and owned slave of Master Curios
srn 308-692-331

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Post #: 29