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Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 11:10:44 AM

SubmissiveChef6

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/28/2013
Status: offline

I am a fairlynew dom starting to train my sub and looking for some advice and tips on how to be the best dom I possibly can to my sub.

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 11:15:11 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Well, start by losing the word "train" from your vocabulary.

She's YOUR submissive. If you're in a relationship serious enough t call her yours, then you should be able to talk to her about what her needs, wants and desires are and try to match them up to yours. What we tell you doesn't matter. We don't know you. We don't know her. And every single relationship is different.

I would start by going over a BDSM checklist together.

Also, there's a good booklist at the top of the General BDSM forum. I would recommend The Loving Dominant, SM101, and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SubmissiveChef6)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 11:20:42 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Hello and welcome! It's great that you're out to learn and improve yourself.

Hang around the boards a while and you'll see we all have our own version of the ideal D/s relationship, there's no right or wrong answer as long as you and your sub are happy with it.

Join in some threads and get to know us. Feel free to start your own threads, too. You'll usually get more helpful answers if you can narrow your questions down to something fairly specific each time. I know it can be hard when you start out even to figure out what questions you want to ask, but something like 'Where can I find safety tips on using rope?' or 'What sort of rituals do you find strengthen your relationship?' will usually get more useful discussion than things like 'I need ideas on what to do with my sub' or 'How can I be a good dom?'

Looking forward to getting to know you.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to SubmissiveChef6)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 11:45:48 AM

SweetAnise

Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline

Welcome to the forum.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 11:46:18 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Your username threw me...

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 5:07:00 PM

D0MBLKMAN2Serve

Posts: 46
Joined: 11/8/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Your username threw me...

me too. Guess he means he 'prepares' submissives.

Right chef?

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 5:53:01 PM

unionkane

Posts: 60
Joined: 12/26/2013
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^lol

(in reply to D0MBLKMAN2Serve)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 6:03:19 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Welcome to the discussion side Chef. Stick around and join in the discussions, there's lots to learn here.

I agree with the books Oside mentioned, they will give you some foundation for learning.

Building a power exchange relationship doesn't happen overnight. It's a process, learn, explore, spend lots of time talking with your sub and thinking about your own needs and desires. To be the *best* dom for your sub, you have to get inside her head. Only you know how to do that.

_____________________________

(in reply to SubmissiveChef6)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 8:26:17 PM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Hello and welcome Chef its nice to have you here with us. Wow you have been given some good advice already so I will just wish you well and hope

that you enjoy your time well here. May the New Year be a good one to you.

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~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to SubmissiveChef6)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/7/2014 8:27:34 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: D0MBLKMAN2Serve

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Your username threw me...

me too. Guess he means he 'prepares' submissives.

Right chef?

That's too Dolcett for my tastes!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to D0MBLKMAN2Serve)

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RE: Seeking advice and tips - 1/13/2014 4:06:54 AM

OohAahMrs

Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline

Let em know who is the boss.............you can't kid yourself forever.

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to SubmissiveChef6)

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