Do you think I am on the right forum?

Do you think I am on the right forum? (Full Version)

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AlphaFemsRule -> Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 5:35:12 PM)
Hello. I just made an account on here, but after perusing the profiles I am not sure this is the right place for me. It seems most folks here are far, far more into kink / pain / humiliation than I am. It is deep within my nature to worship and follow a powerful, intelligent woman, but it's not in my nature to be denigrated by one. I've written about this extensively on my profile and was wondering if you'd be willing to invest a few minutes in reading it. Then perhaps you could tell me if this is the right community for me - or not - from the perspective of a mistress / Alpha Female. http://www.collarme.com/AlphaFemsRule Thank you.

LadyPact -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 6:00:13 PM)
OP, you have the type of profile that I would have stopped reading at least mid-way through if it hadn't been for a specific request. It is way too long, in My opinion. Your profile is supposed to be an attention grabber. Not "The Old Man and the Sea". You could trim half of it and still get your point across. As to the premise of your question, CM is pretty much a catch all. It's not set for just certain types of dynamics or only for those who are interested in kinks. Granted, the majority of folks here have some kind of a cross over between authority dynamics and BDSM. There are also some who are only interested in one or the other. Back to the profile. Hack out the excess. Take out the repeats of anything you've already said once. Remove the stuff about the size of your dick. (Would you walk up to a woman on the street and give that information?) Skip the stuff about how you want her successful in her career while you wait kneeling for her at home. (Makes you sound like you want to be a kept man while she works for a living.) Also, kill the journal entry that says the exact same thing as your current profile.

AlphaFemsRule -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 6:01:39 PM)
Thank you!

RedMagic1 -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 6:07:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Skip the stuff about how you want her successful in her career while you wait kneeling for her at home. (Makes you sound like you want to be a kept man while she works for a living.) Is this what you want though, OP? If it is, you might as well ask for it. There are a handful of women on the site who are looking for a male wife. I've known a few couples who are probably vanilla where the guy is the stay-at-home parent, so it does happen. But be warned: there are a lot of guys on the site who want to be a financially-supported live-in slave, so most women's kneejerk reaction will be "hell to the no."

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 6:07:29 PM)
Welcome to the non-profile side of CM. I started reading your profile and my eyes glazed over after the first paragraphs. It reads like a journal entry that you may have enjoyed writing, but it's not of interest to anyone else unless they like you and want to get to know you. Really cut it all and start over. There are some wonderful stickies at the to of this forum for males subs looking for dominant females. Read them.

AlphaFemsRule -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 6:16:50 PM)
quote: Is this what you want though, OP? If it is, you might as well ask for it. There are a handful of women on the site who are looking for a male wife. I've known a few couples who are probably vanilla where the guy is the stay-at-home parent, so it does happen. But be warned: there are a lot of guys on the site who want to be a financially-supported live-in slave, so most women's kneejerk reaction will be "hell to the no." Yes, but I am not looking to be financially supported. I'm doing well on my own and have no interest in the financial side of this lifestyle; it was merely an illustration / fantasy. quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Welcome to the non-profile side of CM. I started reading your profile and my eyes glazed over after the first paragraphs. It reads like a journal entry that you may have enjoyed writing, but it's not of interest to anyone else unless they like you and want to get to know you. Really cut it all and start over. Yeah, it seems the general consensus is that I can probably cut this down by 2/3rd and be fine. quote: There are some wonderful stickies at the to of this forum for males subs looking for dominant females. Read them. Understood. Thank you!

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 8:36:45 PM)
Oh, lordy, I would so not normally do this....but since you asked. Yes, women like the one you seek do exist. However....it is very rare that you will find one on a bdsm website looking for a mate. Women of wealth, of privilege, of real power (the kind you are talking about) rarely seek out mates at all. Mates hunt for them. If you wish is to truly find a woman of power (again the kind you are talking about) I suggest that you look in places of power. When you want to find a doctor, often, a hospital is a good place to look. When you want to find a nerd the same could be said of a comic book shop. The same applies to women of power. Look where you would expect to find them. Having said that, if you are lucky enough to find one of the ladies here, I would suggest a few other things. About that very long journal post that I assume was your profile.....One of the many things a truly "alpha" female is not going to like is you doubting that she knows her own power. She isn't going to like having to read a book to try and figure out if she wants to speak to you or not either. They, the true ones, more than likely will not like that your entry seems to LOUDLY state that money is power. Which will lead them to believe that money is what you are really looking for. I know you go out of your way to say that is not what you are looking for but bringing up money is just a bad idea altogether. The comments about...the smell of things....are likely to turn many ladies off. Powerful women know how to hold themselves, how to maintain beauty and grace, and they can scare a weaker lady off with the wink of an eye. They do not need to mark you with their smell. The other things you said about that...smell, hair, not showering....those are your kinks and uncommon habits in a lady. I am not saying you will not find one that will do them, you might, but know what they are....your kinks. And before I go on to long and turn this into a book I will end with saying that you assume things about many submissive men that are not true. There are submissive men that hold power as well. They do not seek out dominant females to make them feel "worthy" They seek them out because they understand themselves and their needs better than many other men do. Good luck.

DarkSteven -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/7/2014 9:09:12 PM)
Dude. You're good looking and you spell well. That alone should get you some interest. Quit talking about what you do not want. Just what you do want. For your info, not many women really enjoy humiliation. A lot of pro Dommes do it because their clients want and pay for it, but I don't think I know a lifestyle Domme that does.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/8/2014 8:30:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule Hello. I just made an account on here, but after perusing the profiles I am not sure this is the right place for me. It seems most folks here are far, far more into kink / pain / humiliation than I am. It is deep within my nature to worship and follow a powerful, intelligent woman, but it's not in my nature to be denigrated by one. I've written about this extensively on my profile and was wondering if you'd be willing to invest a few minutes in reading it. Then perhaps you could tell me if this is the right community for me - or not - from the perspective of a mistress / Alpha Female. http://www.collarme.com/AlphaFemsRule Thank you. AWESOME grammar!!!!

TNDommeK -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/9/2014 3:33:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OP, you have the type of profile that I would have stopped reading at least mid-way through if it hadn't been for a specific request. It is way too long, in My opinion. Your profile is supposed to be an attention grabber. Not "The Old Man and the Sea". You could trim half of it and still get your point across. As to the premise of your question, CM is pretty much a catch all. It's not set for just certain types of dynamics or only for those who are interested in kinks. Granted, the majority of folks here have some kind of a cross over between authority dynamics and BDSM. There are also some who are only interested in one or the other. Back to the profile. Hack out the excess. Take out the repeats of anything you've already said once. Remove the stuff about the size of your dick. (Would you walk up to a woman on the street and give that information?) Skip the stuff about how you want her successful in her career while you wait kneeling for her at home. (Makes you sound like you want to be a kept man while she works for a living.) Also, kill the journal entry that says the exact same thing as your current profile. That's a great book though.

Dreamless -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/10/2014 1:37:28 AM)
... I love your profile. It turns the fuck out of my cranks. Just to be the voice of contention here, I really don't think you should change it. But then, hey, you be the judge--are the women saying you should change it the sort you want to connect with? Then you should probably listen to them. But all I'm saying is, if I would've found that profile, I would've sent you a message. You're not Canadian or a masochist, but I still would've been genuinely interested in connecting with someone who can write like that because hot fucking damn. It tells me so much about who you are. You're an alpha submissive and I know you and what the hell you think of you and yourself way better than "I love to fish and I give a great massage". But then, I know I have a profile that would be heavily criticized if I were looking for criticism on it. But I'm not. Because it communicates precisely what I want it to--and I feel that because of it I get a much higher percentage of 'serious' messages that are tailored to me than the average woman here seems to get. I don't think you're looking to snag the average domme and as such, I don't think your profile should necessarily be rescripted to be what turns the cranks of the average searcher here, because you are the one who says it: "I am not into BDSM." So why you would write a profile to catch someone who is, is beyond me. And why people sulk about length when there are posts on the forum often many times longer is beyond me Quite frankly, I love the smarm about your above average dick. Within the context, knowing you're prodding at the tiny-dick-humiliation groupees... it works. If you were the narrator of a book, I'd fucking read it. I love your voice. I can hear you. I can feel you. I know who you are from that profile. I also know we're not compatible because I'm not alpha and I'm a sadist and Canadian--and thus, it communicated clearly what I feel it needed. quote: The other things you said about that...smell, hair, not showering....those are your kinks and uncommon habits in a lady. You clearly didn't grow up where I did. Firstly, why should he hide his kinks. Secondly, don't project onto all women things like "all women smell like roses and shower daily" because quite frankly, not all of us do. I grew up in hickville. MOST of the women there were hairy, dirty, and smelt like sweat. 90% of us didn't wear makeup or shave our legs. I still don't, and I still don't know any women who shave regularly or smell like roses (maybe because I have scent allergies and I avoid anyone who does but still). Knowing there's a guy out there who wants that turns me on, and if that's what he's trying to find, why should he hide it. It's his kink, and actually, it's my kink, so what if it's not your kink, now you know you're not compatible with him. There's nothing wrong with being submissive and having a fetish. Why should, say, a foot loving guy hide that to try snare a mistress and then be forever unsatisfied because he really wants to suck her toes but she hates that and thinks it'll ruin her pedi. Submission shouldn't equal "you're not allowed to have your fetishes on the table because you're only there to serve me". I figure in short, the ladies he'll turn off are the ladies he isn't looking to attract anyway. Maybe powerful women don't smell like sweat where you come from. But if the OP lived where I grew up, I'd be able to hook him up with a sweaty, confident alpha woman dying to have a man at home on his knees waiting to serve her in a heartbeat. Seriously. I can name at least one. But, I'm pretty sure she's not a BDSM lady--just an alpha who'd be all over this kind of guy, so maybe he is on the wrong site. AFR, I wish you luck. You know what you want, and what you don't want, and I hope you don't lose sight of that trying to generify yourself in the desperate hopes to snag a woman. What you wrote to me stands out, and while it likely won't be loved by everyone who reads it, it does give a very clear picture of who you are and what you want. As a writer, my biggest advice is always to hold onto your own voice, never write what's popular just because it's popular--write what you love, what communicates best what you want to communicate. Much like a writer who's written something odd and obscure may gain a tiny cult following, your profile may not connect with most people here, but those it will, it'll connect hard. But, if the women suggesting changes are the type you want to attract, by all means, totally rewrite it, they know best what they want to see and I know best what I want to see and godsdamnit I wish I saw a lot more of that kind of profile.

SoulAlloy -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/10/2014 1:56:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Dude. You're good looking and you spell well. That alone should get you some interest. Quit talking about what you do not want. Just what you do want. For your info, not many women really enjoy humiliation. A lot of pro Dommes do it because their clients want and pay for it, but I don't think I know a lifestyle Domme that does. Just to throw an alternative view I've met quite a few :) To the OP, the others have given you awesome advice, have fun and good luck [;)]

AlphaFemsRule -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/10/2014 9:37:47 AM)
I wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. It made for an interesting set of responses and varying points of view. It was great to read all of your posts.

kalikshama -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/10/2014 9:57:36 AM)
I'm glad you left your journal entry. I think you should hold out for what you want...but that she might take extensive networking to find. The suggestion to go where powerful women are is a good one. Where are they online - what date sites do these women use? Probably not free ones - they'll want to keep out the "riff-raff." ;) But there's no harm in also creating profiles on free sites fetlife and OKCupid. On fet, you can't search except to find groups and events. So join some groups and go to events. If you volunteer at events, you'll get noticed and have an opportunity to network. OKCupid is kink friendly, so it's probably ok to use the same tone from your journal entry when you fill out your profile. I suggest you make it a little more vanilla, but still include keywords for which women looking for sub men will search. A friend of the family is a Harvard Law grad and if you are interested I will ask her what pay sites she uses.

kalikshama -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/10/2014 10:07:18 AM)
I reread your journal entry. Your ideal woman may not even identify as kinky - she may just know that she likes to be in charge in a relationship. I still think you should be out as submissive on OKCupid, as it is kink friendly, but more circumspect on other vanilla date sites. Good luck!

AlphaFemsRule -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/10/2014 10:07:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama A friend of the family is a Harvard Law grad and if you are interested I will ask her what pay sites she uses. Thank you, kalikshama. That would be great.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/20/2014 3:01:07 AM)
I didn't notice this until someone msged me to say I might to look at it. I was not projecting or speaking for all women, forgive me if that is how you took it. I was however speaking of the kind "lady" he is looking for. As I have no idea how or where you grew up either I can only say that the women I have come in contact with over the years would not have this as a common habit. I also did not tell him to hide his kinks I said to be aware that they are his and do not fit all women. By the way...just so you know....I grew up in a small town in Kansas and I could hook the op up with a lot of sweaty, hard working, "alpha" females. I could also give him the names of some very powerful, non-sweaty, non-hairy, business Ladies that are CEOs of companies who take submission in men very seriously. Either way, you are correct that it is all about what the person is looking for. He asked for advice I gave mine. He need not follow it if it does not suite him.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/20/2014 3:09:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Your ideal woman may not even identify as kinky. Thank you, Kali, for pointing this out. It was much of what I was trying to say but better than I said it. I think often that some people who are open in the community forget that not everyone speaks the same way we do and many of them do not think of themselves as "kinky" at all.

asanaambitions -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/23/2014 2:23:06 PM)
I agree that the profile didn't have to be quite as long, but I enjoyed reading it. For me it gave a good sense of where I'd be compatible with the OP and where I wouldn't be (ex: alpha, don't shave and not into humiliation, but though I'm comfortable with my feminine power I'm not the high flying business woman described, just a poor chef thinking of changing industries). I think too often people view a profile based on what it is that they personally are looking for and if it doesn't line up, then the profile needs to change. I think the OP will attract exactly the sort of woman he's looking for, if indeed there is such a lady on this site. I'd wish you good luck AlphaFemsRule, but with your ability to spell, the fact that you know what you want in life and out of a relationship, plus being quite attractive you probably don't really need it [8D]

AlphaFemsRule -> RE: Do you think I am on the right forum? (1/25/2014 10:54:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: asanaambitions I agree that the profile didn't have to be quite as long, but I enjoyed reading it. For me it gave a good sense of where I'd be compatible with the OP and where I wouldn't be (ex: alpha, don't shave and not into humiliation, but though I'm comfortable with my feminine power I'm not the high flying business woman described, just a poor chef thinking of changing industries). I think too often people view a profile based on what it is that they personally are looking for and if it doesn't line up, then the profile needs to change. I think the OP will attract exactly the sort of woman he's looking for, if indeed there is such a lady on this site. I'd wish you good luck AlphaFemsRule, but with your ability to spell, the fact that you know what you want in life and out of a relationship, plus being quite attractive you probably don't really need it [8D] Thank you, asanaambitions. Also (and this is directed towards the thread responders in general), the 'hair' thing seems to be an aspect a few have focused upon. Perhaps this would be bettered discussed in a separate thread, but I'll explain it briefly for now. For me, by the time I'm with a dominant woman, I most likely have investments that go beyond purely sexual feelings. Namely, psychological and emotional ones such as admiration, awe, respect, curiosity, a desire to please and so on. She's not just a fetish prop, she's a goddess and, as such, I want to experience and know her on multiple levels, in fundamental ways. Like all women, she has a unique body hair pattern and I want to know it, memorize it, map it out in my mind; it's just one more way I can know her. That desire to experience 'her' supersedes whatever kind of arbitrary grooming practices have come about in the past ten years. That said, if she prefers to shave - so be it. I'd just be slightly disappointed that I'd be missing out. Because it's like a gift to me. She's saying "here's a unique part of me. My gift to you IS me, so have it, indulge it and love it and return the gift with admiration and pleasure..." Another part of it is that I love the animalistic / primal aspects of D/s. However we may have evolved socially, we still have lizard-brain hardwiring when it comes to sex. Underneath all of our posturing, we're still very much animals and I think that shines through a lot in sexuality. Higher-level intimacy is nice, but I still want to know the unrefined, unsocialized, animal parts of the woman I'm in awe of. I like the messiness and discomfort that mixes into the pleasure. : ) The idea she is self-aware of herself in this way and chooses to leverage her natural body in acts of dominance is insanely hot to me. Who cares if it scratches my face or causes me to get hair in my mouth? I got to feel the texture of a badass Alpha Female and taste her sweat in my mouth while pleasing her. That's all that matters.

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