advice Please

advice Please (Full Version)

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SirGeraldDavid -> advice Please (1/9/2014 10:28:48 PM)
, yes, I have just come back from a ten years absents from the life style,, I am a Daddy / Dom, seeking a sub female or a sub female/male couple . I have just begun my search. I have written a profile,,, It might be to long and maybe boring,,, , but I would appreciate any advice of how to make any changes that would attract a female sub for a male/female sub. Any advice from a Dom , Sub female or male,, a couple, anyone who might have some suggestions on how to make my profile more inters interesting,, .. I live in Southern California,, and this is not a 24 /7 thing,,,,, I am 58 white male , , their age or size is not as important as their attitude, eagerness, ., Just wanting to start doing some interviews ,,, and hopefully find what I am looking for. I am about a hour and half North of San Diego,,, Even better if you know of anyone close that you could introduce me,, or tell them to contact me..... I said age want that big of a issue,,, but if at all possible,, would like to stay in the age range of 35 to 55,,,,,Aside from just having s sub , I would like a intelligent sub that can carry on a intelligent conversation,,, and might even know who Jim Morrison is .. all and any help, suggestion,, is very much appreciated Thanks Gerald

peppermint -> RE: advice Please (1/9/2014 10:42:27 PM)
About your profile, first cut out about 3/4 of what you wrote. It appeared that you generally wrote the same thing over and over just using different words. I am not completely sure about it because after awhile I was too bored to do more than glance at it. I saw the words honest and trust many times, or so it seemed. Second, a relationship is not built on kink alone. It would be good to include some vanilla activities you enjoy. The best way to find a partner is to go to munches and events. That is especially true at your age. If Gary had written me on Collarme I probably would have turned him down due to his age. As it happened, I met him at an event where he was able to wow me with his great personality and the age wasn't so important any longer.

sexyred1 -> RE: advice Please (1/9/2014 11:03:23 PM)
I agree. Way too long, fragmented and repetitive. Hard to read without caps and paragraphs. You sound like a nice guy so just be yourself. I wrote my profile as if it were on a vanilla site, because I like to know if I have things in common other than kink. See, you mentioned Jim Morrison. That's the only thing I remember.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: advice Please (1/9/2014 11:23:20 PM)
Have to agree with the other posters. Way waaaay too long. Very fragmented. Very difficult to read. I took one look at it and thought "Whoa!" and came out. Didn't attempt to read or decipher it. Like your post... full of inappropriate commas and few periods. Badly laid out. Grammar nazi I may be, but this is the time to make an impression.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: advice Please (1/9/2014 11:55:43 PM)
Agree with others about repetiveness. Also, I understand many try to type or use a smartphone to setup their profile but, it would be better to do something like this on a word processing program with spell check. The spelling errors are extremely distracting, as are the formatting issues (constantly breaks sentences into new paragraphs). Once you perfect it in Word, cut and paste onto the profile section.

VideoAdminChi -> RE: advice Please (1/10/2014 9:04:05 AM)
As the OP is specifically seeking profile advice, this thread has been moved to Ask a Submissive/Slave (but of course, anyone is free to answer.)

Apocalypso -> RE: advice Please (1/10/2014 9:39:18 AM)
As other people say, you do come across as a nice chap, so that's a good foundation to build on. At the moment though, you're not presenting who you are as well as you could be. Some specific suggestions. As everyone has said, use proper paragraphs (with a linebreak between each) and grammar. It's near unreadable at the moment. Your spelling is less problematic. You've sensibly used a spellchecker. But you need to go over it and remove a handful of issues that a spellchecker will have missed. I caught "absents" instead of "absence", "dominate" instead of "dominant" and "intelligent" instead of "intelligence". There may be others though. How important is 420 to your everyday life? If you're partaking daily, it needs to be that explicit. If not though, you're currently giving it too much prominence. Especially when it's in the same paragraph as the bit about wanting a sub to share your values; it looks like you're specifically looking for a sub who wants that as a major part of the relationship. Either move it down the profile or remove it completely and leave it to private conversation. (The latter is possibly less risky anyway for obvious reasons). Take out all the parts about honesty, trust and respect. Most people are looking for that in a relationship, as opposed to looking for a dishonest liar who doesn't respect them. It goes without saying. Drop the bit about being a nice guy. The term has got a bit of a bad rep; it's sometimes used to mean someone who sulks if they aren't 'rewarded' with sex by their female friends. Besides, considering several of us have picked up on the fact you're a nice guy, it's obviously coming through in your profile already. You don't have to say it. Say a bit more about your vanilla interests and move it higher up the profile. Going by your list of interests, you're obviously a well-rounded chap with lots of varied hobbies. That needs to come through more. It needs to be shorter. (I'm a hypocrite because my profile used to be extremely wordy, but that's something only a minority of us can carry off. Generally people looking for equally wordy partners). Here's what I picked up as the important points from your profile to give you something to work from: * You're a gentle/daddy dom and you are definitely not compatible with someone looking for a sadist. * You don't smoke and seldom drink. You are looking for a sub that is the same. * You want a submissive who is a good friend as well as your partner. * You are a southern gentleman with southern values. * You love animals and have cats, dogs and horses. * You are a great grandfather and family is very important to your life. Obviously, there's going to be things I've missed out that you consider important enough to go in there, but that's what I took away from your profile.

DesFIP -> RE: advice Please (1/10/2014 10:05:33 AM)
Combining 420 with the unreadability of it, I got the impression you smoke a lot and wrote it while high. Never a good idea. You don't do bondage and you don't hit women so that would imply no s & m. Without those two big things, I have no idea what kind of kinky play you do like. The answer to that should be one sentence at the very bottom of your profile. I also have no idea of you as a person. Do you hike? Do you bowl three times a week? Are you a Doctor Who fan? Never miss Elementary? You want someone with shared values and I'm guessing other compatibilities, but you don't tell anything about yourself for people to know what those values and interests are.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: advice Please (1/10/2014 10:47:56 AM)
In addition to all of the good advice you've already got, some advice to make it easier to read: You don't need to hit 'enter' every time you reach the end of a line when you are typing on a computer. It's not like a typewriter, it will automatically move you onto the next line when you run out of room. That's what caused the strange gaps and new paragraphs mid sentence. Go through and find all the places where you've used more than one comma in a row ,,, and take them all out. Read the sentence out loud. If you need a short pause in there, use one comma. If you need a longer pause, use one period. I'd probably rethink the background colour and stick with white too, but that's personal choice.

Rawni -> RE: advice Please (1/10/2014 11:40:14 AM)
I know we are trying to be a kinder, gentler place for a newbie to land... but I do believe that honesty is far more important than coddling someone that could be lying through their teeth. I also don't believe that in honesty I could recommend someone to someone else when I see a problem and therefore struggle with assisting in these types of questions, as it helps some appear to be something better than they are. I would leave your profile just as it is... because it is riddled with red flags and I think that because you say honesty is most important... so you need to honestly present exactly who you are. You don't mention that this will be part time in your profile... you addressed a great deal, but you don't mention that. That is a major factor. Expecting honesty and intelligence... your word... intelligent, really ought to be intelligence in your sentence... so anyway... you state that a submissive without intelligence isn't a 'real sub'. Now if I am honest here, I must say that your statement of being away from the lifestyle for ten years and now coming back, reading all you can and learning... then coming to ask how to improve your profile to attract a woman or couple... reads like you were looking for dom 101, so you can get your kink on, on a part time basis and are mimicking whatever you read to do so. Leave the profile just as it is, as a warning to those that can see these very important things about you. I am typically not one to attack how a person spells or writes, but here I must. It really sticks in my old craw that you insist a submissive cannot be real if they don't have intelligence and yet you present within your profile a lack of so many things. I have to add... that you need to read to learn what a dom and his/her responsibilities are and you really ought to expect as much from yourself to be 'real', as you do expect from them. I realize I am a dominant and not your target group, but I do expect by our ages, that people will be able to figure some shit out and your profile doesn't make them think too hard to figure out, you're most likely blowing smoke.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: advice Please (1/10/2014 12:23:59 PM)
This is a text based medium, and your articulation, not to mention your keyboarding, is extremely poor. You live in SOCAL which is filled with kinky people meeting up in real time. I think you'd have a better chance there. Oh and welcome to the discussion side.

Blueswordsman -> RE: advice Please (1/10/2014 2:46:20 PM)
GD, This site is a good place to learn how the opposite side feels. Munches are terrific for those who like to mingle. Since you have been away from the “life style” for 10 years and have not considered a munch. They may not be what you’re looking for. I’m sure as a single man, friends are constantly setting you up and the vanilla ladies are coming out of the woodwork. In the BDSM world it seems that there are three whippers for every whipee. So…I suggest you find a delicious vanilla lady and use your domineering skill to make her your perfect little obedient subbygirl.

Kana -> RE: advice Please (1/11/2014 6:15:46 AM)
quote: I’m sure as a single man, friends are constantly setting you up and the vanilla ladies are coming out of the woodwork. In the BDSM world it seems that there are three whippers for every whipee. So…I suggest you find a delicious vanilla lady and use your domineering skill to make her your perfect little obedient subbygirl. Now why in the world would one suggest that when he can use the amazing powers of the interwebz to meet hot subbies

Blueswordsman -> RE: advice Please (1/11/2014 9:35:09 AM)
Why? Because delicious unattached vanilla ladies out number available subladies. Turning someone on to a secret part of their life is invigorating and as exciting as it gets. PMA note. I have dated sub ladies from this site and munches. Most were wonderful. Some were extraordinary. Few meetings went beyond a vanilla lunch.

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