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windchymes -> RE: Most Relationships Fail Because Of Chemistry (1/12/2014 1:07:55 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MariaB
quote:
ORIGINAL: windchymes
Just because you have chemistry at the beginning doesn't mean you're not going to blow up the lab later on. I think the main topic is more about getting relationships off the ground, not keeping a relationship that has already been established.
You can have all the chemistry and compatibility in the world, but if you BOTH don't do as much planning and giving as you do taking and expecting, then it's never going to work. Chemistry and compatibility won't get you through life crises like illness and death, financial disasters, and the like. And there are lots of other people out there who you can suddenly feel chemistry with, how are you going to deal with that?
I think mutual respect has a lot to do with keeping a relationship alive. BOTH of you wanting the other to be happy and being willing to do what it takes. BEING a good partner, not just FINDING a good partner. I know Dr. Laura isn't all that popular, but she does have a good formula for relationship/marriage success IMO: Choose wisely and treat kindly.
If you are willing to work on something together, through thick and through thin, then you likely already have chemistry and compatibility. Its more likely to work out if you have those two things.
I understand what you are saying about mutual respect and putting effort into the relationship to make sure your partner is happy but why on earth would they be separate to chemistry and comparability. Surely if you have those two elements all the other good things follow naturally?
When I married the father of my youngest son there was no chemistry and very little compatibility. We were both good friends and during our marriage, worked very hard on keeping one another happy and even now we have a lot of mutual respect for one another. Those things alone were not enough to keep us together. Now if we had also had compatibility and chemistry our marriage would of been pretty awesome.
What I was trying to say was that, just because you find each other smokin' hot and have great sex together (I don't mean YOU specifically, just in general) and like the same movies and music and food, hiking and biking, etc., that doesn't guarantee forever happiness. When a huge crisis comes along, a lot of marriages and relationships break up.
I didn't mean to infer that they were mutually exclusive of each other. It was more to address the philosophy some have that because they have this amazing chemistry (or lust for each other, lol) and find themselves compatible, than they are destined to be happy forever. As you stated very well, it takes more than just that. I love your story, actually :[:)]
Sometimes I get so many thoughts and words flying around in my brain, I have a hard time getting them all typed out in an organized fashion where I actually said what I meant [:)]
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