How do you feel about surprise parties? (Full Version)

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Theservileone -> How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 1:14:19 PM)

Okay I'm planning a surprise birthday party for my Mistress and I feel like I'm failing as a slave. At first I thought it would be fun but since I've been keeping it a secret and I have to lie constantly so she doesn't find out which makes me feel bad.

Still I keep thinking it will be worth it to see her joy when she finds out. On the other hand I worry my dishonesty is failure to be a good slave.

So I have to ask if you're sub/slave planned a surprise birthday party for you how would you react?



MariaB -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 1:27:26 PM)

If anyone did a surprise party for me I would be pissed. When I'm the bel of the ball I want to make sure I've done my make-up and hair properly, polished my nails and picked out the perfect outfit. I've always told my partners not to surprise me.

You know her and I'm guessing you know she's going to love this? Your not really being dishonest so much as protecting the surprise. I'm sure she will forgive you eventually ;)



Rawni -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 2:05:49 PM)

I don't like surprises like that. Never have. Add lying about it... and I might be a little disappointed or mad... especially if I had other plans and how the lies were given.

Building trust is major in my book... surprise her with a nice gift or something or an evening of her choice to do something... but a party... I wouldn't go there especially if you have to lie about it and are new to her and cannot say for sure how she would react.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 4:38:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Theservileone

Okay I'm planning a surprise birthday party for my Mistress and I feel like I'm failing as a slave. At first I thought it would be fun but since I've been keeping it a secret and I have to lie constantly so she doesn't find out which makes me feel bad.

Still I keep thinking it will be worth it to see her joy when she finds out. On the other hand I worry my dishonesty is failure to be a good slave.

So I have to ask if you're sub/slave planned a surprise birthday party for you how would you react?


Fuck that dishonesty shit.

She'll dig the fact that you planned.

Get over it.

She'll dig the creativity.

Do it.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 4:40:04 PM)

As long as a blanket, clubs, and vindictive /s types aren't the surprise, you'll most likely be golden.

YMMV

Exiled



LafayetteLady -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 5:00:08 PM)

I am turning 50 this year and I would love someone to care enough to plan a surprise party. Your dishonesty is in an effort to maintain the surprise. If she asked you what you got her for christmas would you tell her? I think you would maintain the surprise. Same thing only grander scale.

As far as maria's comment....I would make sure she knew to look nice even if you just told her you were going out somewhere special. No woman wants to be caught at a moment like that looking less than her best.



Rawni -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 5:04:41 PM)

So you had a hard day at work and all you want is a bath, a book and maybe a snuggle with your man and you have a surprise party to go to. lol I've had it happen.

I had plans for my submissive one time and he made other plans... his were more public and harder to get out of. He never got what I had planned... because the situation was more a once in a lifetime kind of deal.

The thought is pleasing... but I still don't like surprises of that nature.



PeonForHer -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 5:52:01 PM)

quote:

So you had a hard day at work and all you want is a bath, a book and maybe a snuggle with your man and you have a surprise party to go to. lol I've had it happen.


Well, supposing he was clever enough to think of all those things? No energetic surprises when he knows you're going to be knackered, and so forth?

A friend of mine had a surprise party organised for him for his birthday. It was a WW2 themed fancy dress event: his friends were all contacted secretly by his GF to arrange their outfits and everything else far in advance. As far as he knew, he was just going to a fancy dress party. But the point was, he was mentally prepared to deal with a party of *some sort*.

(Hmmm. Note to self: at the very least, don't arrange something like that for when you know the hypothetical female partner will have the painters in.)



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/13/2014 8:16:10 PM)

If he made sure I knew something was going to happen so I can look nice, even though he didn't tell me what, it'd be okay with me. And it would be nice if it wasn't happening after a gruelingly busy day. But I do like surprise parties. If he were to say we were going out or something, just so I'd make sure I did make-up etc, it'd be great. I don't want to look like a slob at my own party and, yes, every so often I do look like a slob. lol

NBMG



MariaB -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 5:26:47 AM)

I once started arranging a big fet party for my ex special birthday. We were well on the way to making things move. The invites had gone out, the venue, dj, and fet decor had been booked. I think he got suspicious because one evening he said to me, 'If anyone ever does me a surprise party Ill walk out and go down to the pub. I can't think of anything worse'. I didn't cancel but I did let him know he would be having a party and he was more than happy about that.



DaddySatyr -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 5:44:41 AM)

This is the only situation where I will engage in or tolerate misdirection or subterfuge.

Having said that, there's still a limit. There was a similar post to this, some time back and I remember commenting something along the lines of:

"I don't micro-manage so, if my lady just calls and says: 'I'll be a little later getting home from work.', I don't ask why. This makes it easy for her to plan a surprise party without lying to me or being secretive."

Something like that. Anyway, the point is that if you've actually moved into the "lying" realm and it's bothering you, you need to have a talk with your mistress and tell her what's been going on.

I'll give another personal example:

I don't do surprise parties (and I HATE them given to me) but, I often try to do little things that are unexpected for my lady/ies.

I was dating a lady, once, that would always ask: "whatcha doin'?" or something similar and my answer was always along the lines of: "You'll find out later" or "You'll know, when the time is appropriate".

Well, a lot of times, she just wouldn't leave "well enough" alone and I wound up telling her and ruining the surprise because I refuse to lie.

Later, when she said to me: "You never do any sweet little surprises for me ..." I reminded her of all her incessant curiosity.

So, what I'm saying is that your mistress may (in my estimation) be partially to "blame" because of micro-managing. Perhaps the whole relationship needs to be looked at?






SpyUnderCover -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 1:12:37 PM)

I don't like surprise parties given for me at all. I usually have a sense that I'm being lied to, and it makes me crazy. And I don't want to be put on the spot and then be expected to act all delighted.

Now, if someone tells me they want to have a party in my honor, or says, "I've got a special surprise planned for you for Friday night," that's another matter entirely. In a situation like that they'd be more than welcome to plan something special.

Spy



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 1:47:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

If he made sure I knew something was going to happen so I can look nice, even though he didn't tell me what, it'd be okay with me. And it would be nice if it wasn't happening after a gruelingly busy day. But I do like surprise parties. If he were to say we were going out or something, just so I'd make sure I did make-up etc, it'd be great. I don't want to look like a slob at my own party and, yes, every so often I do look like a slob. lol

NBMG



Thanks for saving the typing fingers, NBMG. This is where I am too.

ETA: Sorry, forgot to comment to the OP.

I think it's sweet and as long as she knows something is going on so she's dressed for it, she'll love it. It's a very nice gesture.



PeonForHer -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 3:18:48 PM)

FR

*I* want a surprise party. Nobody ever does surprise parties for me. I am frigging *up* for it. There it is, in writing.

As for the femdoms on here complaining about them: I mean, jesus, we all know you aren't strident and muscular Amazons, sweatily ready with swords brandished to fight Arnie Schwarzenegger at the drop of a hat, but couldn't you at least make a tiny effort not to be so weak and feeble occasionally? The OP has clearly gone to a monumental amount of trouble to show his adored Domme how much he loves her. I mean, it can't be too much trouble to crack a smile for it were you in her position, no? It's not as though much more is demanded of you: you only have to drift around looking bemused but vaguely happy, after all.



Blonderfluff -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 3:29:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

*I* want a surprise party. Nobody ever does surprise parties for me. I am frigging *up* for it. There it is, in writing.

As for the femdoms on here complaining about them: I mean, jesus, we all know you aren't strident and muscular Amazons, sweatily ready with swords brandished to fight Arnie Schwarzenegger at the drop of a hat, but couldn't you at least make a tiny effort not to be so weak and feeble occasionally? The OP has clearly gone to a monumental amount of trouble to show his adored Domme how much he loves her. I mean, it can't be too much trouble to crack a smile for it were you in her position, no? It's not as though much more is demanded of you: you only have to drift around looking bemused but vaguely happy, after all.

When's your birthday???? ;)


OP. If you plan it well, and you know her schedule, she will enjoy it!!!



PeonForHer -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 6:04:33 PM)

March 2nd. Yippee!!!



Blonderfluff -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/14/2014 6:22:49 PM)

Hmmm.



SpyUnderCover -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/15/2014 12:29:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

*I* want a surprise party. Nobody ever does surprise parties for me. I am frigging *up* for it. There it is, in writing.

As for the femdoms on here complaining about them: I mean, jesus, we all know you aren't strident and muscular Amazons, sweatily ready with swords brandished to fight Arnie Schwarzenegger at the drop of a hat, but couldn't you at least make a tiny effort not to be so weak and feeble occasionally? The OP has clearly gone to a monumental amount of trouble to show his adored Domme how much he loves her. I mean, it can't be too much trouble to crack a smile for it were you in her position, no? It's not as though much more is demanded of you: you only have to drift around looking bemused but vaguely happy, after all.

No, sorry Peon; can't do it. I guess you could say surprise parties are a hard limit for me. lol Then again, I make it pretty clear with friends, lovers, anyone who is just getting to know me that I hate surprise parties and don't ever want one. I also make it clear what other gestures I would enjoy instead.

Spy



Rawni -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/15/2014 12:40:55 PM)

Anyone that would be throwing me a surprise party, should know I don't like that sort of thing. I don't like parties. I love intimate groups of people I enjoy and care about, getting together, but a party... oh hell no. Walk around acting appreciative, cracking a smile, just because someone is being nice to me and trying... would put me in a position I avoid like the plague.

I stopped holiday parties... the family get together, where we all do the same things, every year... with the women working their ass off and the men slugging down a drink and watching the game, burping loudly in thanks for the great work... and walking out about the time the kitchen is a disaster.

I stopped going to things where I had to crack a smile, act like I really wanted to be there and 'mingle'. Ukkk!

I stopped opening the pretty little packages to find something I could never want or use and jumping for joy so they don't get their feelings hurt when they have just taken a dump all over mine. You see... if they knew me at all.. they wouldn't do these things, buy those things or give me something THEY think I will like, based on what THEY think I should like.

If that makes me a bitch... lol... go figure. If he doesn't know me... he really shouldn't be going to such an expense or trouble. If he knows me and does it... boy, do we need to have a long talk.



DesFIP -> RE: How do you feel about surprise parties? (1/15/2014 1:18:21 PM)

Surprise parties by themselves can be problematic. Saying you've invited a couple of friends to meet to celebrate means she'll be dressed appropriately for the venue.

Beyond that, before his birthday, I started shutting down sites when he walked in. He asked what was happening, who was I talking to. I said he had to wait two weeks to find out. When he asked what happens in two weeks I said his birthday, and that if he really wanted to know what he was getting, fine. But then don't carp that there are no surprises.



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