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The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 10:46:17 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Since the Mods are such lazy cows, raking in the big bucks on our monthly membership dues (if your betting my Cmail looks like a giant pot of gold after this one, you'd be right), I'll take it upon myself, unpaid, unappreciated, little ole me, to whip you lazy freakin posters into helping with this.

Female /s type:

We understand that you are new to all this, and we are here to help you. On this thread we will prepare you, and arm you against the freaks lurking on the other side. Disclaimer: the freaks on this side are safe, so don't filter us out of your mail.

The first thing you need is a broad selection of pictures, because the freaks on the other side will demand them. So I will list the pictures you need by importance:

Pic #1 your pussy. It can be shaved, furry, stripped, your choice. But my preference is this:



Do not hesitate to send a pic of your pussy, the freaky D's will be grateful.

Pic #2 depending on the vernacular of the particular freaky D on the other side, you may need an assortment of the next pics:

They may request to see your hooters:


Jugs:


Cans:


Or melons:


Pic #3 don't be afraid to show your ass, freaky D's love a good ass pic:


Other than pics, you'll want to get your hands on a decoder ring:


The decoder ring can be the difference between the man of your dreams or the monstrous freak of your worst nightmares.

Example Cmail: on ur kneez, bithc, I iz ur dominate!

When we run this through the decoder we get:

Greetings, I am sensitive, passionate, and enjoy long walks on the beach while holding hands.

As you can see, the decoder ring is a must have in your CM survival kit.

More to follow

Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 10:50:56 AM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 11:14:37 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		See, even the mods keep a nice pussy pic on hand, because you just never know when you need it.

Thanks Chi

Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 11:51:18 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		love this post

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 11:59:37 AM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Exile ! This is PERFECT.
My 2 cents for the newbie. Anyone with "Master" or "Lord" or even "Grand Lord Master" in their name, is to be instantly recognized for the god that he is.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to Rasciallymisty)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 12:05:16 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

Exile ! This is PERFECT.
My 2 cents for the newbie. Anyone with "Master" or "Lord" or even "Grand Lord Master" in their name, is to be instantly recognized for the god that he is.


Or Sir. Or describes a sex act. Or describes their penis. Or describes female anatomy. The list goes on.....

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 4:41:37 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Male /s types.

Just because I know you will have the overwhelming urge to post pics of your cock on your profile, I'll give you a few pointers:

Pointer 1: do not make it your primary photo. Make that one personal, like a good pic of you beating the crap out of your brother because he sank your battle ship. Those are always winners with the ladies.


Pointer 2: as doctor evil says, there is nothing really like a shorn scrotum. So if your cock is naked, have a good pic handy.



Pointer 3: if you have a gigantic cock that is so monstrous it needs to be on a leash, brag on it and show it off. Your potential Dom/me will use your freakish size for his/her own hubris


Pointer 4: if you have a tiny cock, embrace the inevitability of humiliation and cuckholding, but please put something in he pic with it for perspective.



Pointer 5: if that hot chick on the other side is begging to see your cock, she's most likely not a hot chick.


Exiled

Edited cuz my iPad is worse at this crap than I am.


< Message edited by ExiledTyrant -- 1/14/2014 4:51:53 PM >

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:01:02 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		Ladies, don't forget to show your tits!






Attachment (1)

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:02:47 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		thanx Mal, that was feckin awesome! I totally missed "tits".

Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:17:23 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		You also forgot boobies.





Attachment (1)

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:19:30 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Ha! Excellent!

Thanks again

Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:24:18 PM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		What a fucking great sense of humor you got there Exiled. Love, love, love this.

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:25:40 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Thanks MP.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:38:02 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline 		Does anyone else notice, the "headlights" on those boobies are different sizes?
Asymmetrical boobies need love too, I suppose.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

You also forgot boobies.






(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:53:52 PM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Don't forget the /s males... the obligatory cock shot...




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 5:56:56 PM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		and of course the prick




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/14/2014 6:25:41 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		You forgot the necessary declarations of being a "true Master" - because if you say it, then it is so.
After all, every submissive looks like Anglina Jolie, and every Master looks like Paul Newman - it must be true because their profile says so........................................................

(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/15/2014 1:44:23 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Bwahahahaha!!!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/15/2014 4:42:56 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Love it!!!!!

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The newbie survival guide to CM - 1/16/2014 10:30:36 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Okay, so I forgot the wiener pics.

Pic 1: Chastity Wiener



Pic 2: The CBT super hero wiener



Pic 3: the creepy wiener





_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 20
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