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RE: Former Master - 1/20/2014 12:15:34 PM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline

Thanks Chatte. It wasn't an easy thing to do, but it was a pay me now or pay me later deal and I saved myself a lot of grief.

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Post #: 41

RE: Former Master - 1/20/2014 2:48:36 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pballer123
She is 51 and not new to the lifestyle. Can a person give all the information of a 5-month relationship in one forum? I had ONE question, was I wrong in telling her to stop communicating with her former master. How many people answered the question? How many people went off on all of the rest of the relationship when they did not have the information or were asked for their opinion on the relationship?

Again, was I wrong to tell her to cut off contact with her former master at that point? Simple yes or no question. . . .

I went back and looked at My first answer on this thread. I can see why you might think I didn't give the yes or no answer to a potential command to cut off all contact. That had everything to do with I don't think there was either answer was a terribly good suggestion. I felt most of this was in the "too late" category.

Evidently, some folks on this thread know a little more about this situation than I do. I just know something wouldn't be adding up for Me if I was in your shoes. Then again, if I was still so torn up about a relationship that ended at least five months ago (you gave the date your relationship started) there wouldn't be a bunch of friendly texts and playing scrabble online one minute and the next suddenly having to see him because she still has anger.

The way the thread is transpiring now, I think something must have been screwed up from the get go. Was a touch of white knight syndrome involved? Was helping her with her pain how you got involved with her in the first place? If it was, you had to know something was coming.

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Post #: 42

RE: Former Master - 1/20/2014 4:19:59 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pballer123
She is 51 and not new to the lifestyle. Can a person give all the information of a 5-month relationship in one forum? I had ONE question, was I wrong in telling her to stop communicating with her former master. How many people answered the question? How many people went off on all of the rest of the relationship when they did not have the information or were asked for their opinion on the relationship?

Again, was I wrong to tell her to cut off contact with her former master at that point? Simple yes or no question. . . .

I thought answering "what's next, she moving in with him?" and "So how did that 3 day cool down go? She pregnant with the ex Master's baby yet?" was a pretty clear "no, you're not paranoid" type of answer. But reexamining your OP and the story it tells of your relationship skills, I see you can't decipher the obvious from simple clues so I will spell it out for you.

1 - no, you're not paranoid . . . in fact, she is probably already sucking his dick again or pregnant with his baby by now.
2 - no, you shouldn't try and restrict her contact with him. It's seems far too late because your stance was too weak about it in the first place.
3 - no, we don't get your story because key elements are missing and those missing elements make you look like a clueless fool. "3 day cool down" . . . what is that, a relationship "timeout" like you give naughty kids? Is it like LadyPact said and you are victim of your own white knight syndrome? Are you pussy whipped and that brat does what ever she wants? I suspect neither is the case and the missing elements of the story you withheld are just making you look really bad.

Get it now?

ETA: Dude, keep your ducks in a row... in other words remember your own questions! Your reply rant is off base because your original question was if you were paranoid, not if you were wrong to try and cut off contact. And, the way you phrased it in the OP was weird . . . why not say " I told her to stop seeing him?" Instead you made it all conditional, you want her to do something in the future . . . you know, like if she gets around to it on her own time. That is a far cry from "never see him again". Don't tell her to go visit him and have some goodbye sex then stop seeing him in the future when she can get around to it. Some of these shenanigans may be your own fault. You tell me how they aren't your fault so we all understand.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 1/20/2014 4:36:07 PM >

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Post #: 43

RE: Former Master - 1/20/2014 4:44:26 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Your order was "wrong," because it's unenforceable, and because she will disobey it. Create a situation where she habitually obeys you, not one where she habitually disobeys you.

This is absolutely what the rest of us were thinking when you posed your question, IMO.

Apparently you don't respond favorably to being handled with kid gloves and only a direct approach stands a chance of working with you (perhaps not as stark as ResidentSadist's, but point well taken

).

It was obvious your situation has gone beyond preventing damage control. The damage has already been done. Whether there's anything left to salvage remains to be seen. Given the huge distance factor between you, your odds don't look so good.

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Post #: 44