RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it.

RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (Full Version)

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GoddessManko -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 3:55:55 AM)
Also, I don't think Lorraine was generalizing, I think she was expressing genuine concern for a friend and I agree with most of what she wrote. It is hard to see your loved ones harm themselves and I'm sure for her it's incredibly frustrating. I smoked for years and I NEVER came close to three packs a day, I'm amazed that man's still alive and it must be a source of profound concern. My advice Lorraine is to probably refer him to a quitline, he might need the extra support to get off the cigarettes and if he refuses the help you might have to learn the art of letting go and let him live his life as he sees fit. I'm sorry you have to go through such a thing, cigarettes are one of the worst things for your health and I speak from personal experience but I'm a testament to quitting and being very fit is totally possible. :)[sm=domme.gif][sm=domme.gif][sm=domme.gif][sm=domme.gif][sm=domme.gif]

Greta75 -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 3:57:35 AM)
Smoking is such a different issue from physical appearance though. What hurts about being called "fat" is as good as someone calling you "ugly". Whereas smoking for some of my girlfriends, is the holy grail to staying slim. They acknowledge that they are killing themselves, and they don't mind, they might want to die young, and they would rather smoke, be slim, die young, than have to exercise or eat right. That's their choice, and they look good and feel good about themselves. My grand-dad was also a 3 pack a day smoker, from 13 yr old, but he lived till 88 yrs old. Was still kicking my ass in jogging long distances at 60. But he smokes and he was also an exercise freak, so, I guess exercise ALOT, it counteracts smoking. He used to tell me, if he didn't smoke, he would be dead. I think it was true for him. Of course most smokers don't exercise as hard as he does.

LorraineCA -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 6:29:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Lorraine - let's say I accept your premise that a) fat people are unhealthy and b) changing that is as simple as being inspired to change (incidentally, those are both massively overly simplistic, but for the sake of discussion, let's say we agree). How does making someone feel bad about themselves inspire them to improve themselves? In order to care about your health and wellbeing, you have to care about yourself as a person. Constantly abusing people by implying being fat makes them worthless creates the opposite effect. They see themselves as less of a person, they no longer love themselves enough to make those changes. If I hate myself and the whole world is telling me how gross I am, why do I care if I'm unhealthy? The media is full of obesity stories, the internet and the high street are full of idiots who shout abuse at fat people (and for the record, thin people put up with a variation on this theme too). If shaming people made them lose weight, there would be no obese people. There is no one out there who is just waiting on someone calling them names to make a positive life change. And then let's not even get started on the studies which suggest only a tiny fraction of those who do lose weight can keep it up long term - what with metabolic changes adding to the lifestyle factors. It's not the same as quitting smoking - an obese person can't decide to stop eating, avoid anyone who eats, not frequent places where people eat etc. I never said changing is as simple as being inspired. To change from the inside is incredibly difficult. ADDICTION IS ADDICTION! Whether it's food addiction, alcohol, smoking, etc. It wasn't too long ago that, "having one for the road" was normal. If one said anything about how harmful this is you would get put down by this person's friends. Addicts surround themselves with enablers. But now we see the harm and we don't tell an alcoholic, "You are okay. Keep doing what you are doing and forget about all those people who say bad things about you." Not too long ago if you said anything about a person who smokes the same thing would happen. When you tell a "beach whale" that this isn't okay, you are harming yourself, you are now insensitive and cruel, just like it was with alcohol and smoking addiction. Someone said it's not fair to compare food addiction to alcohol or cigarettes. Why not? Addiction is addiction and it's the same dynamics. They surround themselves with enablers. They make excuses for their behaviors. They justify the harm they do to their bodies. I just said if the insults hurt there is something there. I never said to go around and make insults.

Apocalypso -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 6:31:30 AM)
OP- He's negging you. [image]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_artist.png[/image]

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 7:21:25 AM)
Sorry Lorraine, your whole outlook is just BS. Some fat people are fat because of other things, not food addiction. And if you think that it's ok for people to make a hurtful comment in the maligned opinion that it may 'inspire' the receiver into doing something then you have no idea of human nature. And saying "It wasn't too long ago that, "having one for the road" was normal" has never ever been "normal" - not where I come from. Also, your opinion of "However, if the insult stung, there's some truth to it, or else it wouldn't sting" is also pure BS. Some people say things just to be nasty. Sometimes it's just the sheer fact that someone has the audacity to make such rude comments makes the comment hurt. Or maybe you hadn't thought of that? I've seen a few of your posts and tbh, I've never read such hypocritical BS on the whole. I dunno what rock you live under but it's not on this earth.

sexyred1 -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 8:29:25 AM)
I agree on all of that. I was the same weight from high school to age 29 and a perfect size 14, looked like a 12. I did plus size modeling even. At 29, I started on some meds that made gain weight slowly but surely. I did not eat more, still exercised but my metabolism was changing. I did not have an addiction, I had health issues. The models I worked with were all beautiful and although we were paid for our looks, people still made comments about how plus size models were not as good as regular sized models. People who make statements like The above are just ignorant, pompous and assumptive and hypocritical.

anniezz338 -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 8:34:45 AM)
The only opinions who matter to me is my family and friends. And they accept me as I am. Now, they also express concern about me if they feel I am doing harm to myself but in the next breath, they also have their own demons to live with. They also do not express their concern in a derogatory way. The statement made that "if an insult stings, there must be some true with it" does not sit well with me because the results of that are just as devastating as the "truth" of it. Bullying in schools in one example. If bullies are picking on a fat girl, no matter how truthful it is, it will result in low self esteem or even worse, suicide. Which is more harmful to the fat girl, her weight or her self esteem?

Greta75 -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 8:38:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LorraineCA I just said if the insults hurt there is something there. I never said to go around and make insults. This is the specific statement is not right! Not a truth in it! If I want to drive a aneroxic girl deeper into her aneroxia, I just need to tell her that she's fat, and even though it is not true, she will believe me and keep starving even though she's already a skeleton. She will look into the mirror and feel and believe she is fat. Because I told her she is. People say alot things, like, "You're ugly, you're worthless, you're stupid!" And even if it's not true, some people with low self-esteem will believe in it and feel that it is true! But it does not mean there is any truth to it.

SweetAnise -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 8:42:41 AM)
Honey I am fabuliciously Phat... I am Beautiful Big Bodacious Bootlicious Beautiful Black Woman. [:)] Don't worry about any of them. Most of them are quite flushable and should be thrown in the trash anyway. It is about confidence! So hold your head up with CONFIDENCE! [:D]

kdsub -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 9:22:50 AM)
If you think your weight is OK and you don't care what people think then why waste time ranting about it? To me you come off as ranting against something that you deep down agree with. You must truly decide if you are satisfied with yourself and if not then stop ranting and do something about it. I find many overweight people use the "I'm big and like it and if you don't screw you" type statement as a way to avoid facing their own insecurities about their weight. You are the only one to know if you are happy with your body and if you are just ignore the assholes and move on with your life... BUT... don't expect everyone to accept your definition of self and feel put upon because they don't find you desirable. Remember there is a difference between respect, which everyone deserves on introduction, and desire. We all have our preferences and should not be condemned for them. I hope this message does not come off as critical... it is not meant that way at all. Butch

VideoAdminChi -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 9:49:21 AM)
Fast Reply (FR) to no one in particular, As a reminder, you may attack the post but not the poster.

fluffyprincess -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 5:00:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub If you think your weight is OK and you don't care what people think then why waste time ranting about it? To me you come off as ranting against something that you deep down agree with. You must truly decide if you are satisfied with yourself and if not then stop ranting and do something about it. I find many overweight people use the "I'm big and like it and if you don't screw you" type statement as a way to avoid facing their own insecurities about their weight. You are the only one to know if you are happy with your body and if you are just ignore the assholes and move on with your life... BUT... don't expect everyone to accept your definition of self and feel put upon because they don't find you desirable. Remember there is a difference between respect, which everyone deserves on introduction, and desire. We all have our preferences and should not be condemned for them. I hope this message does not come off as critical... it is not meant that way at all. Butch Actually, I'm ranting about it, because up until recently, I didn't have a positive outlook on myself. Because of bullying my entire life growing up about my weight. It shouldn't take 23 years for somebody to love who they are. But it did take me that long. So me ranting, is really a really big fuck you to everybody, past, present, future...who is so insecure with themselves, that they put others down. There are lots of things about somebodies bodies I might not like. But just because somebody has that quality on them that I don't like, doesn't mean that I'm going to send them a message out of nowhere, and tell them they need to change, or that they aren't pretty or worth anything or whatever. So yes, I did used to agree, so there is still a trace of that feeling, out of old habit. But it's not strong enough that it would make me cry, or be damaging to me. Ranting is healthy. I rant, and then I feel better. I don't rant, and then eat an entire carton of ice cream.

kdsub -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/17/2014 5:41:21 PM)
I understand...I hope you can get to the point where rants like this are not necessary for your self-esteem. From your picture I think you are a beautiful young woman and should laugh at the assholes that try to hurt you rather than rant at them. Butch

Milesnmiles -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/19/2014 7:55:08 AM)
First, people come in all different sizes and each is beautiful in their own way, so get over it. The question a person should ask themselves is, am I healthy? For every person there is a range of healthy sizes and if a person is too thick or too thin, no matter whether they like being like that or it is their fetish, they need to do what ever they can to move to a more healthy size. Remember being dead puts a big crimp in your enjoyment of life, not to mention that being unhealthy can make life pretty unenjoyable as well.

Apocalypso -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/19/2014 9:12:49 AM)
I called some random bloke in the street a cunt earlier. He swung a punch at me. Obviously, that's because he actually thinks he is a cunt deep down and not just because people don't like being insulted.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/19/2014 9:27:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso I called some random bloke in the street a cunt earlier. He swung a punch at me. Obviously, that's because he actually thinks he is a cunt deep down and not just because people don't like being insulted. Did it hurt you or sting him? Or the other way around, I have a lousy memory, can't quite remember grandmamama's quote.

Milesnmiles -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/19/2014 9:39:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso I called some random bloke in the street a cunt earlier. He swung a punch at me. Obviously, that's because he actually thinks he is a cunt deep down and not just because people don't like being insulted. And how is this a reply to what I said?

Apocalypso -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/19/2014 9:55:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles And how is this a reply to what I said? It isn't. It's what the forum does automatically if you use fast reply. (I wish they'd turn that off).

Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/19/2014 10:09:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Sorry Lorraine, your whole outlook is just BS. Some fat people are fat because of other things, not food addiction. And if you think that it's ok for people to make a hurtful comment in the maligned opinion that it may 'inspire' the receiver into doing something then you have no idea of human nature. And saying "It wasn't too long ago that, "having one for the road" was normal" has never ever been "normal" - not where I come from. Also, your opinion of "However, if the insult stung, there's some truth to it, or else it wouldn't sting" is also pure BS. Some people say things just to be nasty. Sometimes it's just the sheer fact that someone has the audacity to make such rude comments makes the comment hurt. Or maybe you hadn't thought of that? I've seen a few of your posts and tbh, I've never read such hypocritical BS on the whole. I dunno what rock you live under but it's not on this earth. Yes this. I know plenty of skinny people who eat all the time and eat a lot of junk food at that and yet they are still skinny, and I know plenty of others who eat healthy and try to moderate the amount and they struggle with their weight. So the idea that everyone with too much weight is just a food addict is pure BS. The only person who should be concerned about your weight is you. For the subs and slaves out there the only other person would be their Dom/Master. Other then that no one has a right to say a word.

Milesnmiles -> RE: This is my rant about weight, and how I'm treated for it. (1/19/2014 10:26:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso quote: ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles And how is this a reply to what I said? It isn't. It's what the forum does automatically if you use fast reply. (I wish they'd turn that off). Thanks, never mind. ;-)

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