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There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:01:10 PM

AlphaFemsRule

Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline

If financial domination (giving or taking) is truly your kink, then have at it.

But I have a suspicion the vast majority of so-called fin-doms here have no real interest in the D/s community, exploring the psychology of it, interacting with the members or even meeting others. They're here (again, I suspect) for exploitation and probably not even using real pictures in many cases. To me, this really detracts from the overall value of the site and purpose of it. There's so much garbage and fake profiles I have to sort through to find the actual, real women that it's frustrating. Not to mention the PM's from 'fin-doms' who clearly sent the same one line email to 50 others guys hoping to catch a fish in their net.

Shouldn't this be filtered a little more thoroughly? Why is there so much mixing of commercial advertising (pro-dommes), fin-dommes and those who just want to meet someone else? Seems like a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:20:02 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

OK, I'm only going to respond in this way because I have seen this same complaint so many times but usually from the subs of the site.
Listen guys, I have never been pro anything yet a vast majority of my emails go like this:
"please let me buy your designer shoes for you to humiliate me with them later"
So I'm thinking cbt..."awesome, let's meet"
Response: "I thought we would chat online some more"
Me: "..."
OR
"hey, what's your yahoo, let's chat on there"
OR "Hey, you have teamviewer"
OK, so I own retail businesses online so I don't need your $5 to view my cam. I watched a nice strap on fucking video on youjizz enviably while responding to dead end emails on cm.
Is it frustrating? Yes.
Is a lot of it the result of findom dominating the lifestyle not only for Doms but for subs? Yes.
However I applaud anyone who dabbles in the lifestyle no matter their motives. I was born an alpha. Not everyone tops their class 7 years consecutively just to be on top. Not everyone has a foot slave before losing her virginity.
I just happen to be an alpha through and through and I prefer real time to online play.
The findoms are great for married or vanilla men who otherwise cannot get secret urges satiated but yea, they seem to be shoved down our throats seemingly more than we care to.
It's unfortunate but it's hardly anyone's fault except as some have said, the nature of supply and demand.
I make it explicitly clear I am seeking a D/s relationship and that this is not my occupation and yet I still get the "teamviewer" requests so don't think this is something we don't ALL experience, but choose to overlook. :)

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:26:33 PM

AlphaFemsRule

Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
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Thank you for replying, GM.

I honestly didn't realize the spam was equally deep coming from the other end. I also didn't know you were offered so much money for...anything. : ) I suppose it's frustrating for anyone looking to connect on a level deeper than exchange of currency.

BTW, this: "Not everyone tops their class 7 years consecutively just to be on top" is highly attractive. Good for you!

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:32:07 PM

KevinJones87

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/7/2013
Status: offline

There are quite a few on here, both "doms" and "subs" who want to be paid to either dominate you or submit to you. Frankly, there seems to be a large number of people on here just looking for sex, as well. It's not about the financial domination, the problem is finding everyone who has no real interest in the lifestyle. Personally, I'm not against fin dom, I'll engage in it on a limited basis. My main feeling is that "tribute" should be given by the sub as a gift whenever they feel called on, not demanded by the Dom/Domme. However, I am straight, and identify Myself as such on My profile. I still get messages from male subs asking Me to dom them. Not My cup of tea, so if I agree, I will discuss payment.

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:37:52 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule
To me, this really detracts from the overall value of the site and purpose of it.

I guess I see this in another way. If I were the owner of this joint, My "purpose" would be to do exactly what I set out to do. Which, I'm thinking, would be to have a site that sells advertising space with the intent to make a profit. I'd be basing those rates according to how many profiles were here and how much exposure the companies, the advertisers should be getting. Kind of like how they determine rates for commercials on tv. The more viewers, the more you can charge for that thirty second slot. That's why companies pay more to advertise during the Super Bowl than they do for during Grey's Anatomy.

quote:

There's so much garbage and fake profiles I have to sort through to find the actual, real women that it's frustrating.

Your joining date is all of eleven days ago. I almost want to ask what else you want on a silver platter.

quote:

Not to mention the PM's from 'fin-doms' who clearly sent the same one line email to 50 others guys hoping to catch a fish in their net.

OK. I'm going to explain this for you. Right now, you are showing up on that stupid "new member" list. For that first sixty days, no matter who you are, (role, gender, orientation, etc) there are some folks that are going to target you. For example, if you were a female submissive, you'd be getting stupid emails that try the "you're not really a woman, prove it on cam" crap. Once that sixty day period elapses, it's going to be completely different and you'll be wondering why nobody sends you email.

quote:

Shouldn't this be filtered a little more thoroughly?

Exactly how would you propose that? The staff here is made up of volunteers. I have reason to believe they have enough on their plates with keeping the forums within ToS and guidelines, having to spend their time watching video chat, pulling pictures of stuff that is X-rated/shows pics of kids/snuff/K-9, and, trust Me, you don't want to know what else. Do you have any idea of how many profiles are really here? There are beyond many and the staff are relatively few. I've always thought that was the reason for the hide and block features. So you can "filter" for yourself.

quote:

Why is there so much mixing of commercial advertising (pro-dommes), fin-dommes and those who just want to meet someone else? Seems like a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

No. Not really. OK. I'm just another member here like you. There's no "lose" in your complaint for Me. I'm a sadistic, leather, poly femdom. What your rant is about doesn't affect Me a bit. I have successfully met, in person, literally, hundreds of people from this site. You can not tell Me that it can't be done.

I am sorry for your frustration. Sincerely, I am. At the same time, I'm going to give you the same advice that every sub male with the same complaint gets. You can't just make a profile and expect things to happen for you. While I happen to think you are a decent guy, you are in a place where the signal to noise ratio is not in your favor. You are going to have to be proactive and do more than just be on the net. If it happens for you like that, I'll be thrilled. If I was an s-type or bottom type male, I'd be rushing to real life kink, rather than pin My hopes on CM.

I hope you know I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to give it to you straight.

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:45:43 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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My question to you is: Since the fin-doms are easly to spot then how would filtering them make the site better for you?

Save you a couple of seconds while you skim a profile?

Some people really want to seve fin-doms.
Some people will only engage in on-line interactions.
And they should be able to meet their needs in those ways.

Be patient.
It generally pays off.

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:53:22 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Off topic.......

Dear Mods,

Can we please, PLEASE go back to this?

quote:

Please do not start a duplicate or similar thread if there is an active thread on the subject already or was fairly recently.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:55:52 PM

AlphaFemsRule

Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline

quote:

I guess I see this in another way. If I were the owner of this joint, My "purpose" would be to do exactly what I set out to do. Which, I'm thinking, would be to have a site that sells advertising space with the intent to make a profit. I'd be basing those rates according to how many profiles were here and how much exposure the companies, the advertisers should be getting. Kind of like how they determine rates for commercials on tv. The more viewers, the more you can charge for that thirty second slot. That's why companies pay more to advertise during the Super Bowl than they do for during Grey's Anatomy.

I'm sure there's a profit motive involved and I have no problem with that. Advertising is fine (so long as it's not overly intrusive), but I am not sure how the plethora of fake profiles contributes in that regard. If anything, I think it would actively work against profits since it would drive away legitimate registrants (traffic) due to dissatisfaction. But I'm not an expert on web marketing. And I doubt we really want to get into such a dry topic on here. :P

quote:

OK. I'm going to explain this for you. Right now, you are showing up on that stupid "new member" list. For that first sixty days, no matter who you are, (role, gender, orientation, etc) there are some folks that are going to target you. For example, if you were a female submissive, you'd be getting stupid emails that try the "you're not really a woman, prove it on cam" crap. Once that sixty day period elapses, it's going to be completely different and you'll be wondering why nobody sends you email.

I didn't realize this - thank you for explaining it.

quote:

I hope you know I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to give it to you straight.

Not at all. In fact, I really appreciate your candor. Thank you.

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:56:48 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

In response to what LadyPact wrote,
I think it REALLY depends on what the individual is seeking. I have never attended mixers or parties or any such things, nor have I tried to be a part of the social aspect of the lifestyle but have successfully and discreetly found subs and playmates while remaining under the radar

.
I have little to no interest myself to go to a FF party or even to meet hundreds or dozens of people.
I think for those of us who discreetly lead a dichotomous existence networking online becomes that much more prevalent to being "visible" at lifestyle functions and venues and ergo more susceptible to what AlphaFemsRule experiences. Plus according to his profile he likes alpha type female led relationships but not necessarily kink.
I think often times we can paint with a broad brush in these matters.
The bottom line is just accepting the good with the bad when it comes to the site but realizing the internet is and always will be a "free- for -all".

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RE: There's too many fin-doms on this site - 1/18/2014 4:57:51 PM

VideoAdminRho

Posts: 2055
Joined: 3/24/2010
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Per the guidelines of the forums: "Please do not start a duplicate or similar thread if there is an active thread on the subject already or was fairly recently".

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4621505/tm.htm

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