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LadyPact -> RE: Looking (1/20/2014 3:27:46 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Tryanything69
I am looking for a mistriss. I have a very busy schedule with work. Can anyone help me with this or help tell me where I can find someone. I will make someone a great slave. Thank you
I'm going to try to help with some of this. Please take it in the spirit it was intended. (Btw, I'm not going to use your profile as a reference. If it is/was as bad as the other folks have mentioned, please fix it.)
OK. My first problem with this whole thread is the self proclamation about how you're going to make somebody a great slave. How do you know? I mean, really, what are you banking that on? You say you don't really have any experience in this area. Are you fabulous in vanilla relationships? Are you the friend that people call when they are in trouble? Are you the person in the extended family that people rely on?
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I have tried various things but would say internet the most which is my only option sometimes with as much as I work and the crazy hours. I just need to meet some mistress to talk to first to see if we are compatible and looking for the same things even if it over the phone text email or whatever. I just really want to serve a true mistress.
You just became every dude on the internet. You want to create a profile, exchange some electronic communication, and BOOM! It's going to magically happen. Guess what? Probably not.
That's not honestly effort. It's not doing a whole lot. You aren't showing anybody that you really can make the time for the relationship that you say you want to have.
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I do work a lot and travel for my work can not really help that one would change it if I was able to.
Quick background so you'll understand where I'm coming from. I'm a poly person. That means I have two relationships. One with my husband and one with my sub. My submissive lives a hundred miles away and works his tail off for a living. Do you know why we're engaging in D/s now? It's because a) he's shown that, even with that demanding job that he'll find a way to make time for Me and b) he proved before we were ever really 'involved' that he'd make that dang drive. That's dedication. It wasn't pretty words on the screen.
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I do not know everything about this life style at all. I am wanting to learn and need someone to help teach me and train me the right way.
Again, personal opinion. This, to Me, would be a bad sign. While you may not have the relationship type that you want, you're not exactly coming across as you are making the effort (there's that word again) to get some education for yourself. Are you going to groups that will teach you things about these kinds of dynamics? How many non-fiction BDSM books do you own? What are you doing except waiting for that Mistress of your dreams to come along and teach you?
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I have never tried a pro. Maybe I need to start there I really don't know.
I've never been big on the 'try a pro' approach as a one size fits all solution to the "I have no Mistress" situation. I get why people are telling you this due to what has transpired on this thread. (Job, lack of effort, etc.) In this case, it might be the right answer because, so far, you're not coming across as you really want to invest the time.
Here's the bad part that comes from this answer. Some clients of professionals acquire really bad habits. They become accustomed to the mindset of 'scheduling sessions' rather than how it really works in a relationship. Another potential pitfall is, if the pro is doing a good job, you will think it really is a relationship, when the reality is that you are a client. In other words, you could get way more hung up on her than she will about you.
If you have so little time to invest, you might want to think about what you really want.
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