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FieryOpal -> RE: Mistresses with more then one sub (1/20/2014 7:45:57 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Alex8897
I am curious is it normal for Mistresses to have more then one sub like between 2-4 subs. Also if any mistresses do have multiple subs I was wondering how many you have, for what reasons you have more then one. Such as is it because of how far away they are, what they can do, or is it other reasons? Thanks for taking the time to read this and replying.
It all depends on which type of Domme you're dealing with. Customarily expect Dommes to be more "poly" than "mono" or to fluctuate if they are "between" subs or actively seeking another sub. If a Domme is bisexual or hetero-flexible, then she will want a female sub to play with or to include in the mix along with her male sub(s).
Labels can be misleading because there are not rigidly defined types. A pro-Domme may also be a fin-Domme. A lifestyle Domme may accept a fin-slave and technically become his fin-Domme.
For obvious reasons, a pro-Domme will have more than one paying client who could be on any side of the kneel, not necessarily a sub.
A fin-Domme can reasonably take on more than one fin-sub. He'd have to be loaded and exceedingly generous to acquire exclusive rights to her, if she were so inclined, that is.
Anything goes with a lifestyle Domme. She may be part of a Dom/me couple, where both partners have a sub of their own on the side. If they're poly and/or one partner is bi, they could conceivably share a sub. There are Domme/switch, Domme/sub couples looking for a third who might have just one sub or could possibly keep a stable of slaves or "pets" for non-sexual and sexual purposes.
There are Dommes with a primary partner who play with others, or who will Top/bottom with others during public play.
A good deal depends on what sort of sub is desired. Some Dommes only want a service sub, more like a household servant. This sub may barter services for bondage or impact play and not be interested in having sexual intimacy, or even if he does, that may not ever be part of the deal. She selected the service sub to begin with for reasons other than suitability as a sexual partner for herself.
There are foot fetishists, for example, who are unidimensional. Who would want to keep just a foot-slave around and nothing else? (It's possible, but unlikely as a permanent arrangement.)
Some subs are limited in their skillset, fetishes or kinks. This makes them only partially compatible with their Mistress. This means she will have to get her other needs fulfilled elsewhere with (an)other sub(s).
It isn't uncommon, in other words, for a Mistress to have a primary with whom to have sex and have essentially non-sexual relationships or arrangements with others.
If you want to have an exclusive relationship with your Mistress-to-be, then you will need to be husbandly material, a step up from steady-boyfriend material. Not being able to offer a (non-poly) lifestyle Domme a full-fledged partnership commitment works the same way it does in the vanilla world. It gives you no right to expect exclusivity unless you are delusional. In fact, there are open marriages with no expectation of exclusivity either.
Myself, my Domme cousin, and a lifestyle Domme friend are mono. (One man can be enough of a pain in the neck!) Speaking strictly for myself, I'm more into D/s than BDSM kinks/fetishes, and I have no use for service subs, fetishists or slaves. The rest of the Dommes I know are poly, potentially poly, or else have a primary sub and anywhere from 1-3 more s-types. One lifestyle Domme I met has a CD sissy sub for her primary and they've had an LTR for many years, which is fairly rare from what I've seen.
[Edited for typo]
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