RE: non-physical punishments

RE: non-physical punishments (Full Version)

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kalikshama -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 1:46:06 PM)
And chained to the wall! Don't forget chained to the wall!

Blonderfluff -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 1:50:35 PM)
I HATE that "I'm so disappointed look". It's much, much worse than that sexy "you are in sooooo much trouble" look.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 1:54:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blacklacekitty What are your favorite non-physical punishments and what does your sub/slave have to do to deserve it? (by non-physical I mean by chores, time out, etc) My personal favorite keeps them squirming, uneasy, anxious, gets their head in a twist to the point of nail chewing. It is all powerful, and quite magical in its sadistic way. Mastery of this punishment is a must, for once the /s experiences it, they will not EVER get out of line again.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 1:54:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I would have but contempt for a dominant who did anything on RS's list. Especially as nowhere does discussion of the problem appear nor any belief that the dominant could have caused the problem. It appears to be written for people who only interact for play/sex. YMMV. I don't know...maybe it is how people are wired or something... I have not had non-physical punishment recently but I have had physical punishment. I did something I shouldn't have. Did I have an excuse? Yes. To me it was a valid reason but, like I said before...only one person gets the final say on what is or is not acceptable. I agreed when we began dating. Bottom line- You disobey/you screw up/you go too far... The Dom is the one who decides that you crossed the line-long as he is not changing rules... I won't go into details because it is all explained in a recent prior thread.... A good Dom tells you WHY you are being punished, a good Dom may even listen to you explain BUT...a good Dom does not allow himself to be swayed... Yes, if there is info that he was not aware of that changes his view (i.e. If I had not called when instructed to but the reason was because one of my kids was hospitalized or I was hit by a car...he probably would have dismissed the punishment). I might not agree with being punished but I did agree to obey his decisions... This, to me, is an issue in society as a whole... You have to follow the rule. Even of you think you have a great reason for running the red light...the court has the right to say "too bad...pay the ticket" but everyone still wants the rules bent more than enforced.

Blonderfluff -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 2:07:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: blacklacekitty What are your favorite non-physical punishments and what does your sub/slave have to do to deserve it? (by non-physical I mean by chores, time out, etc) My personal favorite keeps them squirming, uneasy, anxious, gets their head in a twist to the point of nail chewing. It is all powerful, and quite magical in its sadistic way. Mastery of this punishment is a must, for once the /s experiences it, they will not EVER get out of line again. Nope NOT gonna ask...

UniqueIntensity -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 3:15:31 PM)
I personally like to take a progressive approach. It starts with that Look that several of the ladies have already mentioned, which is usually enough. Should harsher measures be required, it moves to placing them somewhere quiet and giving them a simple description of what they should be thinking about while they are there. As several have mentioned paddling a masochist or otherwsie rewarding an attention seeker is about as effective as tossing water on a grease fire. Giving them a dose of quiet and solitude helps to calm them and center their mind if the problem is due to an emotional tangle in their thought process. Perhaps most importantly, it sets the stage for discussing what went wrong when they come out.

Apocalypso -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 7:17:16 PM)
Ween songs. The girl absolutely hates Ween. Also, water pistol to the face. Although that's more funishment. Well, for me. She sulks.

littlewonder -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/23/2014 7:23:24 PM)
Non-physical punishment here usually is something like always reminding me of how I fucked up until I finally beg him for absolution which is usually a physical punishment.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/24/2014 2:34:00 AM)
fr Just thought of another one: Highlander 2. The thought that I might have to spend another two agonising hours watching that film is a very powerful deterrent.

kalikshama -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/24/2014 8:06:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Not a deterrent, lol. I would totally act out if I knew this was coming: 1: SILENCE....(length of time <20 minutes>) (Use a common egg timer that ticks rather loudly) (upon failure to remain in place and silent EACH step is taken progressively) 2: REMOVAL OF CLOTHING (restart timer) 3: INSERTION OF GAG (restart timer) - This SHOULD be done with a sub who doesn't like gags. (REMIND the sub that vocalizing is THEIR choice so control of usage of the gag is THEIR choice too!) 4: FORMAL KNEEL POSITION (restart timer) 5: KNEEL ON MAT (restart timer) 6: COLLARED, GAGGED, KNEELING - COLLAR BOUND TO WALL (restart timer) So you are saying getting gagged, naked and kneeling for you is like spanking a masochist and expecting it to be an effective behavior mod? [:D] I emailed this to my man and he replied for me to clean out my closet - eep!

ResidentSadist -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/24/2014 8:28:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Not a deterrent, lol. I would totally act out if I knew this was coming: 1: SILENCE....(length of time <20 minutes>) (Use a common egg timer that ticks rather loudly) (upon failure to remain in place and silent EACH step is taken progressively) 2: REMOVAL OF CLOTHING (restart timer) 3: INSERTION OF GAG (restart timer) - This SHOULD be done with a sub who doesn't like gags. (REMIND the sub that vocalizing is THEIR choice so control of usage of the gag is THEIR choice too!) 4: FORMAL KNEEL POSITION (restart timer) 5: KNEEL ON MAT (restart timer) 6: COLLARED, GAGGED, KNEELING - COLLAR BOUND TO WALL (restart timer) So you are saying getting gagged, naked and kneeling for you is like spanking a masochist and expecting it to be an effective behavior mod? [:D] I emailed this to my man and he replied for me to clean out my closet - eep! LMAO. That reminds me of a girl that bought me a whip as a present. When I beat her with is she was crying out like crazy. I asked, "what's wrong?" She said, "it hurts." I said, "it's a whip my dear, its supposed to hurt." She made comment about how she deserved it because she had 'hung herself" but, she was being extra careful in the future about what she gave me. Moral of the story was be careful what you arm a Master (or sadist) with. Which comes to the non physical punishments. The isolation, banishment as she called it, is something I use. In Africa tribes they have a "hut at the end of the village." used to separate people, usually women, when they get unruly or foul tempered from their periods. So in my house, I adopted the expression and in a poly, when a girl gets out of place, she goes to the 'hut at the end of the village' until she gathers her whits and perspectives gain. Good luck with the closet!

LittleGirlHeart -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/24/2014 8:36:47 AM)
I believe unless you're talking punishment, then punishment shouldn't be this thing that you have a favorite you like a lot. Being punished is not fun, it sucks and both parties should dislike being in a situation where punishment is warranted.

kalikshama -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/24/2014 9:16:05 AM)
Did you mean to say "funishment" instead of the first "punishment" in your post?

Ollieboomboom -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/24/2014 7:39:33 PM)
The following is always one of the 'getting to know you' questions I ask a potential dominant .."What is the difference between punishment and discipline in an M/s dynamic?" And then I wait...and listen. dovie

samdarella -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/24/2014 11:36:55 PM)
Great question.

ARIES83 -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/27/2014 4:32:59 AM)
Well, a lot of the responses from various people haven't been very surprising, what I did find interesting was the volume of people who view the idea of punishment as some type of sexy play. Or generally just seem to look down on it. Effective communication is of course a important relationship skill. I think what makes some people view punishment in a bad light is the idea that its somehow a breakdown or lack of communication, and honestly, I can see that happening. But I believe there is certainly a place for it. RS, After reading what you pasted in and having a fair few criticisms about it, I'm curious just how bad were the parts you edited out... Though some of the things touched on, do sort of follow the same lines as my thoughts... I'm glad there are at least a few here who aren't writing off the idea of discipline and punishment as genuine relationship tools.

ARIES83 -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/27/2014 4:35:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ollieboomboom The following is always one of the 'getting to know you' questions I ask a potential dominant .."What is the difference between punishment and discipline in an M/s dynamic?" And then I wait...and listen. dovie Ha! Do you generally hear back? And I like your thinking TieMeInNots, could you link that punishment thread you mentioned?

kalikshama -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/27/2014 6:35:45 AM)
As much as I like the idea of being naked, gagged, collared, and chained to a closet wall, I just can't see punishment, or even funishment, as a vehicle for getting there. I made cake the other night, and my man complained that there was no milk. (I don't drink milk, and when I've previously bought it for him, it's gone bad before he finished the quart.) I felt really bad when he said, "Don't you know by now that I like cake with milk?" I said "into the closet with me" and we both laughed, but I just can't see us doing this. His disappointment was punishment enough for me, and I'll make a point of getting a little milk when I make cake. For funishment, I'd have to get into the "bad girl needs punishment" role, and I just can't make that mental switch. I forgot about the milk; I won't do that again. I'm not a three year old who needs to be spanked to get it into her head to not touch the hot stove.

DesFIP -> RE: non-physical punishments (1/27/2014 2:05:03 PM)
They sell milk in juice packs. It doesn't go bad and it's a glass at a time. The other thing is that if this is willful disobedience. Meaning I'm deliberately disobeying because I'm angry with him, then punishment will just make it worse. If I'm angry and resentful then that needs to be addressed. Because if it isn't, there's no chance for the relationship lasting. But I'm also not going to have much respect for someone who doesn't try to figure out what the problem was, and how to not get me in a position where no matter what I do, something's wrong. If you're supposed to give all your attention to the client at the desk and at the same time give all your attention to the one on the phone, eventually there will be a time where there's a client at the desk and the phone is ringing. Writing someone up because they can't do both things together just isn't how you select for good customer service. And we've had situations where doing what he wanted would have meant I couldn't do something I had already committed to and he knew about and was fine with. Until he forgot about them. I'm also not willing to be punished for being 'needy' when he's the one who demands I be transparent with him and then throws a fit if I say anything that isn't totally positive. Because I haven't yet met anyone perfect and a dominant who is so insecure he can't handle criticism is not someone I want to be with.

daniel1973 -> RE: non-physical punishments (7/2/2015 9:46:35 AM)
For lying, cheating or stealing: end of relationship. Mildest one (more of a reminder than a punishment): barefoot. Typical one: Scenario: One evening my master tells me to finish when I go to bed. This happens rarely, normally he gives me permission to. I am very tired, play around a bit, can't get it done, and fall asleep. Understandable, forgivable, master is very sympathetic. Non-compliance with ejaculation instructions, however, carries a mandatory punishment. So what did he do? First of all: nothing. He let me sweat until I was ripe, i.e. wanted it really badly. When I announced that I was ready he told me to do it doggie-style and quick. The former means on my knees, hands folded behind my neck. Although as a submissive I am not entitled to any kind of modesty I does feel a little weird because of the lengths I have to go to to even feel something. Quick means focus on getting it done as fast as possible. If my master has the impression that I'm slowing down in the least in order to relish it a little bit he will have to cane me. Afterwards, of course. Normally, tucking my stomach in while straightening my shoulders makes it easier but the position I'm in makes that difficult. All the while, while I'm desperately trying to do something I can feel, my master asks me: "Will you do it again?" - "No Sir." Again and again. I am also supposed to announce when I am ready and when it actually comes although what counts as announcement is interpreted loosely (I've never been punished for breaking that rule.) When I finally collapsed onto my bed I still managed to say "Thank you, Sir" under my breath - a true submissive is always courteous. Well I've never been so grateful for an orgasm although I could barely notice it. That's how my master teaches me lessons, I guess he is somehow related to Yoda.

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