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FieryOpal -> RE: can you have date nights (1/24/2014 3:38:54 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: highhopes4us
quote:
ORIGINAL: kalikshama
quote:
I have small kids so I was with them for the holidays.....So no we weren't with each other per say we did speak through out the day. Going to his home is not an option for me, We do not live near each other
This doesn't make any sense. How are you two seeing each other a few times a week as you said earlier if you do not live near each other?
Our typical week is seeing each other few times a week. Sometimes if time allows we go to lunch dinner or the movies... I do enjoy that... BUT it always ends with playtime!!!!
Reading between the lines, this is what I'm concluding. Please feel free to refute me on any point, highhopes4us. I am not a mind reader.
The issue of casual play and doing your own thing doesn't apply here because 1) this is a serious, longstanding relationship insofar as you are concerned, and 2) you have indirectly brought your children into the mix.
- Your Master is a married man with a family of his own, so this is why you are used to accommodating him at every turn (besides the fact that you want to continue being his slave).
- This is also why you cannot visit him at home, not that he lives so far away. (This is also probably why your Master is not an integrated part of your children's lives.)
- You have bought into the misguided concept of slavish devotion to someone who is not treating you with the same level of commitment that you do him.
- Therefore, you are the "other woman." D/s-M/s-BDSM has little to nothing to do with this entanglement.
- You have been on CM seeking another couple to play with and could easily update your profile to reflect differently if this is no longer your intention. I'm going to assume this was your Master's idea and if so, you are not exclusive to him in his mind. Why else would you deny it?
- You have put up with this situation (and I'm sure many, many other impositions you have swept aside) believing that your Master is going to leave his wife-SO-mother of his children to be with you.
- This is why you have rationalized that you are not jeopardizing your children's welfare or that you are not being selfish in choosing your Master over them.
- An investment of 4-1/2 years with anybody makes it hard for you to cut your losses and do better for yourself, and for your children's sakes. But unless you are willing to walk away, and your Master can tell that you mean business, nothing is going to change for the better. He will continue to have his cake and eat it, too.
What you should do is write down your Hard Limit Deal Breakers. Every slave should have them, and every slave is entitled to have them, despite whatever pre-conceived notion you may have about what constitutes slavery or what any Dominant may have told you--they weren't telling you the truth. List at least 5-6, not so many that it might appear to be a list of demands. I have a sneaking suspicion you went into this in a "no-limits" capacity. There is no such thing as legal slavery, you are not your Master's legally owned property, and you have every right to re-negotiate the terms of your D/s-M/s relationship with your Master.
As someone else might have said earlier, being submissive does not mean you cannot stand up for yourself and REFUSE TO BE USED like "a piece on the side" against your will.
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