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RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/26/2014 10:38:45 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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He finds me talking during exciting portions of the game to be pretty annoying. As an explanation, although I've watched my son play: soccer, football, basketball, baseball, wrestling and God only knows what else, I've still not learned the rules of any game sufficiently to know when one is exciting or not.

I'm better at western horsemanship and performance halter. I'm pretty clueless when it comes to working cattle and reining classes. Interesting enough I could teach beginner showmanship for a while.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 1/26/2014 10:39:05 AM >

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RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/26/2014 1:32:18 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thisisacutename

hiya :)

curious newby here. I was wondering; are there specific things (like behaviours, personality traits, etc.) that most dominants find unattractive or irritating about submissives?

those who think dommes are their fetish delivery systems.
Do me subs
those who think they are god's gift to women/men
those who are so sensitive that the drop of a pin makes them cry
those who still live at home in mom's basement
laziness
stupidity

I'm sure I could go on and I'm not even a Domme/Dom.

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Post #: 22

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/26/2014 2:43:13 PM

MsMJAY

Posts: 515
Joined: 3/17/2013
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Those who are so "submissive" that they have no independent thoughts, hobbies or likes of their own. Like this:

whatever you like.

(in reply to thisisacutename)

Post #: 23

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/26/2014 3:28:27 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
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Definitely the "I'm so terrified that I can't move past the first email to this Domme" sub thing that happens frequently.

The "offer to buy me things in exchange for being a cam slut" sub. I actually don't need your $5? So yea, shoo.

And ESPECIALLY the subs who OFFER to do very specific tasks (that usually would seem extravagant and unreasonable) and then recant or add stipulations to the offered gift.
Listen, before you put yourself in the position where your credibility is tested on such things, just don't do it to yourself and I won't hold you to your word. The last thing
I want is to be toyed with.
Those are pretty much the only traits that tend to make me roll my eyes, haha.
Thankfully the best of subs do not find me intimidating, oh how I love them so! :)

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Post #: 24

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/27/2014 12:01:24 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I find it annoying when subs speak of their submission as a gift, if they act like they never dated before, if they believe we are special snowflakes by virtue of being submissive,

I do view my submission as a gift though, probably because I'm the most non-submissive person ever and quite a control freak, and in my vanilla relationships, I have always worn the pants, and if anybody inspired me to submit, that is quite a big deal to me. And till date, I have really only submitted to one person in my life. Met so many doms, and never felt any desire to submit to them.
And if the dom you end up with don't see your submission to him as a gift, then how should he view it exactly? Like no big deal? You'd submit to anyone anyway?
I think it's no difference in vanilla relationships where the man should view your love for him as a gift, just like I would view his love for me as a gift. Because love IS a gift!

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/27/2014 12:05:34 AM >

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 25

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/27/2014 2:01:48 AM

MariaB

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Joined: 4/3/2007
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Submissives who insist on calling me 'Mistress', 'Ma'am', 'Goddess'.
Submissives who can't safe word because they are 'too submissive'.
Submissives who sit you on such a high pedestal, reaching their expectations is near on impossible.
Submissives who don't have a dominant but tell everyone they have no limits.
Submissives who talk badly about every ex dominant they have ever had.

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Post #: 26

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/27/2014 1:38:32 PM

Arldaddy

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/27/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

2. Trying to manipulate me.

4. Assuming that the way to get a spanking out of me is to act like a brat and expect me to give them a fun playful spanking.

Those two are on the mark!

I have found more than my share that try to manipulate my actions. A dear friend and mentor called it Topping from the bottom. It is as good a term as any.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 27

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/27/2014 2:18:20 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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one can't top from the bottom unless you allow it.

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Post #: 28

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/27/2014 2:28:27 PM

directiveerror

Posts: 128
Joined: 11/17/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

one can't top from the bottom unless you allow it.

i prefer to say "i'm not topping from the bottom, you're bottoming from the top" :P

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 29

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/27/2014 5:39:25 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I find it annoying when subs speak of their submission as a gift, if they act like they never dated before, if they believe we are special snowflakes by virtue of being submissive,

I do view my submission as a gift though, probably because I'm the most non-submissive person ever and quite a control freak, and in my vanilla relationships, I have always worn the pants, and if anybody inspired me to submit, that is quite a big deal to me. And till date, I have really only submitted to one person in my life. Met so many doms, and never felt any desire to submit to them.
And if the dom you end up with don't see your submission to him as a gift, then how should he view it exactly? Like no big deal? You'd submit to anyone anyway?
I think it's no difference in vanilla relationships where the man should view your love for him as a gift, just like I would view his love for me as a gift. Because love IS a gift!

While I agree that whatever I do with a man, whether submit to him or love him, is valuable, I don't run around stating this is a gift.

To me, whatever you both find in each other, is of mutual benefit.

And like you, I am not a submissive person anywhere else and I only submit to one person, when in a relationship.

Love may be a gift, but is one that can be taken back at any time , therefore my semantics of what constitutes a gift and yours differ.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 30

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/28/2014 10:40:02 AM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
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Submissives who think that spanking, canes and being tied up are 'kinky sex' whereas a service fetish is some sort of sacred function sanctified by the Gods and Goddesses of BDSM.

Submissives who think that D/s is somehow purer and more noble than the rest of its BDSM counterparts and thus not a fetish.

Submissives who answer any problems another submissive has by telling them that they need to be more submissive.

Submissives who think the only valid 'old school' scene is the American leather community.

Submissives who denigrate any desire for play or pain as 'just kinky sex', as though twoo Doms and subs never have sex or do anything kinky.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 31

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/28/2014 3:41:27 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thisisacutename

hiya :)

curious newby here. I was wondering; are there specific things (like behaviours, personality traits, etc.) that most dominants find unattractive or irritating about submissives?

I dislike dull women, women who abuse drugs, women who avoid responsibllity, are bad with money, cheat on their husbands by being a sub on the side. That's about it. I love smart and independent women who are then a challenge. Broken women make up a fairly large percentage of submissives and they are challenges who reward those who meet the challenge and they are like closed flowers who bloom under the rain and warm sunlight of men who can handle them.

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Post #: 32

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/29/2014 1:08:29 PM

like2dom82

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/11/2014
Status: offline

I am the sub in my relationship. At first I will say I did most of these things. (we've only been together 3 months) Our relationship didn't start this way it just naturally progressed and it's my first. I had to finally talk to him...Period. I am a strong woman in every other aspect of my life. I needed to talk about things that upset me in a rational way. I think that's really what I took from it....calm....rational discussion. Not passive aggressive crap. It's more then sex for us, it's a relationship. There are aspects of our relationship that he prefers me to take the lead on. Pleasing him is always what I want but I had to really understand that he wants to please/pleasure me too. I haven't been on this sight long and I am certainly no expert, but what I've learned is that we all just like different things for different reasons. I like to be submissive because my job is super stressful and I'm in charge all the time....it's such a wonderful release to let someone I love and trust take care of me. For me that's what I had to understand....He's taking care of me, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. I had to let him take care of the first two parts and now the last is even better. That's just me though every relationship is different.

On a lighter note....try to trust your Dom! In my experience he always has my best interest at heart....even when I don't see that! He gets super annoyed with my questions. But we're working on it!

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 33

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/29/2014 1:21:24 PM

freedomdwarf1

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Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
I dislike dull women, women who abuse drugs, women who avoid responsibllity, are bad with money, cheat on their husbands by being a sub on the side.

I don't see these traits being applicable or specific to submissives at all.
In fact, those unliked traits could be attributed to anyone, both sub and dom, male or female.
As usual Arty, your opinion is based purely arounds your specific male=dom/female=sub high protocol arena.
Try answering the question might help.

(in reply to Arturas)

Post #: 34

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 1/31/2014 3:17:19 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
I dislike dull women, women who abuse drugs, women who avoid responsibllity, are bad with money, cheat on their husbands by being a sub on the side.

I don't see these traits being applicable or specific to submissives at all.
In fact, those unliked traits could be attributed to anyone, both sub and dom, male or female.
As usual Arty, your opinion is based purely arounds your specific male=dom/female=sub high protocol arena.
Try answering the question might help.

Experience teaches the same annoying human traits are not specific to submissives. These are not petty traits and Doms are not annoyed with petty traits, those that might be specific to just submissives, but instead those specific to women and men with serious issues.

Naturally, since the traits I listed have nothing to do with male=dom/female=sub high protocol "areas" the rest of your post avoids any close pass at reality.

Try gaining wisdom and experience before responding to those who willingly share it. From now on you will be blocked since you have little to say worthy of attention and you share at least one annoying trait I list above.

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Post #: 35

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 2/4/2014 3:37:25 PM

TemplarOne

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Joined: 2/2/2014
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Things that Subs do that annoy me...

...promising that they will follow my rules and then don't...
...not apologising when they break any of my rules...
...not saying please or thank you...
...not having an opinion when I ask them for one..."whatever you like" is irksome (as mentioned previously in another reply by MsMJAY)...

I know that Subs will inadvertently break rules from time to time - even deliberately at times just so that they can be 'punished' - but a Sub/Slave who completely ignores the rules that have been meticulously spelt out for them time and time again?....deal breaker...

(in reply to Arturas)

Post #: 36

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 2/4/2014 4:37:39 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemplarOne

Things that Subs do that annoy me...

...promising that they will follow my rules and then don't...
...not apologising when they break any of my rules...
...not saying please or thank you...
...not having an opinion when I ask them for one..."whatever you like" is irksome (as mentioned previously in another reply by MsMJAY)...

I know that Subs will inadvertently break rules from time to time - even deliberately at times just so that they can be 'punished' - but a Sub/Slave who completely ignores the rules that have been meticulously spelt out for them time and time again?....deal breaker...

"...not having an opinion when I ask them for one..."whatever you like" is irksome "

I can understand that.....but honestly....anytime I say "I don't care...whatever you want"...I really DON'T care or have any preference. That's one of the big reasons I like a D/s relationship. I hate being faced with choices where I would either love to have both (or all three or four...) options, or I don't like any of the options. My ex used to always ask me where I wanted to go for dinner....Italian? Seafood? Steak? Asian? I like it all and I never really had any specific cravings, so I always said "whatever you want".

Whenever I say..."whatever you like"....it's not because I'm trying to be deferential to him. It's because I really don't have any preference.....at least not any preference at that moment.

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Post #: 37

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 2/4/2014 5:05:29 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

I can understand that.....but honestly....anytime I say "I don't care...whatever you want"...I really DON'T care or have any preference. That's one of the big reasons I like a D/s relationship. I hate being faced with choices where I would either love to have both (or all three or four...) options, or I don't like any of the options. My ex used to always ask me where I wanted to go for dinner....Italian? Seafood? Steak? Asian? I like it all and I never really had any specific cravings, so I always said "whatever you want".

Whenever I say..."whatever you like"....it's not because I'm trying to be deferential to him. It's because I really don't have any preference.....at least not any preference at that moment.

This. EXACTLY! People get pissed at me when I say "whatever you want/like" but honestly, I just don't care. It just doesn't matter to me. I'm happy with any one of the options provided. He'll ask me which I want for food...Indian or Thai, for example. And I will sometimes say "whatever you want". Not because I don't want to make the choice, but because I like both and I can eat either one right now. My mind isn't saying "I'm hungry for Thai so choose Thai." My mind is saying "I like both and I could eat either/or right now". Now there may be a day when he asks me again and I will say "Indian" because that's what I'm hungry for. I'm not saying "whatever you want" to be difficult or shy or subservient. I just don't care.

But most days....yeah, I just don't have a preference. It's not difficult to grasp.

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Post #: 38

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 2/4/2014 7:29:05 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

...not having an opinion when I ask them for one..."whatever you like" is irksome (as mentioned previously in another reply by MsMJAY)...

I always have an opinion but, especially when it's what to eat, what to do, I feel guilty going with what I want, especially if it's something the dom don't enjoy as well, so I always deliberately lie that , "Whatever you like".

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 39

RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? - 2/4/2014 10:39:40 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

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Joined: 9/20/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I always have an opinion but, especially when it's what to eat, what to do, I feel guilty going with what I want, especially if it's something the dom don't enjoy as well, so I always deliberately lie that , "Whatever you like".

Dishonesty is a form of disobedience. Just saying...

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 40

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