Can men be truly submissive? (Full Version)

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ThePrincessKali -> Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:12:36 PM)

In my real life or while using websites like collarme or fetlife I have come across hundreds of "submissive men." I've also met a few men in real life under completely vanilla circumstances who revealed to me they were subs because they thought I had a dominating personality. I'd say I could count the number of truly submissive ones on one hand. And when I say "truly submissive" I mean they genuinely put their Domme first. 99% just had a fetish or fantasy they wanted to play out or told me what I had to do to them. That's not being a submissive it's topping from the bottom. Which is fine but then don't call yourself a submissive. Just say you have a scenario you want to play out. I was hospitalized a couple years ago and had three subs that were serving me (I guess that's what you'd call it). And I informed them all I had been hospitalized and two dissappeared. One later told me it was because I clearly couldn't dominate him while in the hospital. The third was a truly wonderful man and he had flowers sent to my room. Granted I'm not involved in the local community so my knowledge is mostly limited to online and a lot comes from the forums, in which I rarely see sub men posting and if I do it seems they're wanking it while typing whatever they're saying lol. But many women post who seem truly dedicated and submissive. So I'm curious to know, do you think it's in men's nature to be truly submissive to a woman or is it all a sexual fantasy? Or is it just something that comes around once in a blue moon?



littlewonder -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:15:31 PM)

Being that you call men "morons" and speak negatively of them in your profile, I can see why you are not getting the type of men you seek.



Rawni -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:15:52 PM)

I have found more submissive men in vanilla-land than I have in kink-land. If that tells you anything. [;)]



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:21:39 PM)

Yes I do believe men can be truly submissive. However, I think being an online Fin-domme self selects for fantasists and wankers, so perhaps your sample is not representative.



ThePrincessKali -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:24:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Being that you call men "morons" and speak negatively of them in your profile, I can see why you are not getting the type of men you seek.



I didn't know what you were talking about until I read my journal. So that does make sense. I probably should of explained the reason I felt that way on that particular day.



MsMJAY -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:26:59 PM)

Yes there are men who are truly submissive. There are some who are not truly submissive but only want their fantasies met. Being a findomme you probably will not meet a lot of the first type. The type of men who are truly submissive are usually seeking something more relationship oriented and many would never go to a findomme. The other type most likely feel that if they pay their money they have a right to get whatever fetish or fantasy they are paying for. (And in my opinion, they are right to feel that way.)



MariaB -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:40:40 PM)

Over the years I have known and owned some very genuine submissive men. I think a lot of submissive guys are never really given the chance to express their submission and in desperation will reach out to any female who is willing to give them a moment. This often comes across as 'over the top' and perhaps a little false but without getting to know these guys properly, we will never know.

Good male subs that have built up a decent rep are very sought after and its unlikely you will find one of those on a site like this unless they are already owned, but it would be unfair to say that submissive males on here are mostly wankers. I believe a fairly large number just haven't been given a decent chance.



KnightofMists -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 2:47:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali

... So I'm curious to know, do you think it's in men's nature to be truly submissive to a woman or is it all a sexual fantasy? Or is it just something that comes around once in a blue moon?


Only if you cut off their balls off and put them in a mason jar on the shelf for them to look.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 3:05:09 PM)

So, I read your profile and I would suggest that, if you are looking for partner in a FemDom relationship, you scrap it and start over. Nothing wrong with being a FinDom and I think those who are upfront about it should be commended for not trying to "lure" in customers. Problem is...so many sub men have been hit up by so many "would be"s that the only ones that persist are the desperate or the ones that are self-centered. I have seen many a nicely written male sub profile but they usually complain about only getting attention from women looking for material gain..

You need to write the new profile centering what is special about you as a DOMINANT and what traits you want in a man...not sex stuff cause that attracts the wankers. Fill it with boring stuff like types of books you read, foods you like, hobbies...

Many male doms seem to forget this but it is NOT what you say, it is HOW you are. Both males and female doms that come across as not really LIKING members of the opposite sex or who seem to be "ripping down" subs for being subs (calling them pathetic, worthless...) attract subs who either hate themselves or are ashamed of who they are or they attract those who are immersed in fantasy versions. Even subs who LIKe humiliation don't like it from people they don't know.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 3:10:04 PM)

3 out of my 3 are 'truly submissive' to me. These men knock themselves out year after year keeping me happy and loved. They are rather alpha in their life outside our relationship. It's beautiful.

How'd I get so fortunate? Simple. I don't suffer wankers, paying or not. I give out what I wish to receive. I openly appreciate them for the wonderful men they are and conscientiously do my best to be the best partner I can be.




RedMagic1 -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 3:13:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali
And I informed them all I had been hospitalized and two dissappeared. One later told me it was because I clearly couldn't dominate him while in the hospital. The third was a truly wonderful man and he had flowers sent to my room. Granted I'm not involved in the local community so my knowledge is mostly limited to online and a lot comes from the forums, in which I rarely see sub men posting and if I do it seems they're wanking it while typing whatever they're saying lol. But many women post who seem truly dedicated and submissive. So I'm curious to know, do you think it's in men's nature to be truly submissive to a woman or is it all a sexual fantasy? Or is it just something that comes around once in a blue moon?

I know a woman who is a BDSM celebrity -- almost certainly a name you would know. She and I were talking one time, and she more or less said this.

"I know a lot of kinky people -- and I mean a LOT of kinky people. And 95% of them are fetishists, when you get right down to it. People actually looking for slavery are 5% at most."

So your 1 out of 3 is a pretty good record, frankly.

About the sub women on this board and elsewhere: the vast majority want to be submissive in the way they want to be submissive. For example, most, if ordered to peg the guy, couldn't/wouldn't do it. (You may have seen these threads; they come up from time to time.) So they aren't really looking to obey whatever order. Men tend to be more fetish-oriented, more specific-act-oriented than women, but sub women aren't any more "truly" submissive than sub men. The women just have different kinds of limits.



Kana -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 3:16:40 PM)

quote:

Can men be truly submissive?

Of course they can.
Because they're like,human, ya know.
Now a more pertinent question could be,"Does the dominant know how to bring that submissiveness to life? To run with it,play with it,elicit it,roll in it and mold it?"'
Those, to me, are much more relevant considerations.



AlphaFemsRule -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 3:50:26 PM)

With all due respect and no intention to flame: you sound obnoxious, one dimensional and superficial. That might not be the REALITY of your personality, but it's certainly the conclusion I've come to when reading your profile. With that in mind, you're probably attracting men with the same traits and/or mental state.

If you want real, you're going to have to first be real yourself. This is true in any area of life, but even moreso when dating - especially in this lifestyle. Personally, I wouldn't 'follow' you to the kitchen, at least not without a firm grip on my wallet. It surprises me that you even have to wonder why this is an issue in your life.



littlewonder -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 3:52:47 PM)

Exactly what I was trying to state in my previous post. I just didn't feel like going into details.



Apocalypso -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 3:55:36 PM)

You know when we get guys on here claiming that only men can be TRUEDOMINANTES and everybody points out that they are being fucking stupid?

The same applies when you claim that men can't be TRUESUBMISSIVEZ. You are being fucking stupid.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 4:13:54 PM)

You get to decide what being submissive means to you, not what "truly" submissive is. Based on things you have written here and in your profile, to you a man is truly submissive based on the money or gifts he is willing to give you. You state plainly that money is the most important thing to you, yet you think men should provide you with money and expext nothing in return unless you choose to do it.

The world doesn't work that way, and yes if someone is going to open their wallet, they expect something for the money they give.

So basically you need to decide...which is it you really want? A relationship or a business deal?



igor2003 -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 4:26:53 PM)

In reading your profile, and in reading the profiles of most findommes, what I see is that if you take money out of the equation you have no more interest in any one submissive man. To me that isn't being "truly" dominant, so why should you expect a "true" submissive? I may be wrong, but I think most "true" submissive men are looking for relationships, and having to "buy" someones time and attention, whether through gifts or money, is a business deal, not a relationship.



experiment2 -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 4:50:06 PM)

Mistress ThePrincessKali, i am sorry Your experiences have not been good with submissive males. i can only hope You have had a bad lot of them. any male that would leave his Mistress in those circumstances was not a real submissive. i personally could not do such a thing and ope other submissives will concur. our satisfaction is serving our Mistress not our own needs.



ThePrincessKali -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 4:50:25 PM)

I'm not stupid. As per CM policy you may attack the post topic but not the poster. There is no reason for name calling. And yes I am a fin Domme. I'm not sure why everything I say on here comes back to financial domination but I guess that's just how it is. I was first exposed to it online when a submissive messaged me on a site where I had my modeling portfolio posted asking if he could send me gifts. After that I began researching financial domination and found I really enjoyed it. I then found this site and received nothing but messages about how I wasn't harsh enough or didn't humiliate enough so I admit I did edit my profile to sound more like other financial Dommes I spoke with. This is my fault for creating an online persona that isn't 100% how I act in real life. I was very naive at the time and realized that what I'm seeking is something in the middle between subs that tribute and a real connection. I am not dating right now for personal reasons so I'm not seeking a boyfriend. But I'm not seeking a "let me get you off for x amount of money" either. I do like to establish a personal connection but it seems the men I encounter just want something immediately sexual.

I just felt the need to put that out there because shockingly I'm not like such a like fucking stupid girl. Like OMG. (That's called sarcasm, in case you didn't get it.)

I was asking a general question. I noticed there seems to be many more females that post who are submissive and devoted. Very few men and the men that do post ask question that seem to be mainly sexual. It was a general observation. So I wonder if it's in men's nature to be submissive.

And to those who posted with construction criticism and advice, it is appreciated. I realize I let men's perception of financial Domme's "should" sound impact my profile. I am going to re-write from an honest and sincere perspective.



kdsub -> RE: Can men be truly submissive? (1/26/2014 4:51:13 PM)

I would say most people have many personalities that show at different times and moods. How can we be labeled one thing? I choose to list myself as submissive because that part of my personality is what I am choosing to pursue on this site....when I'm in the mood.

My submissive however could be judged by many as dominant because we all have our own ideas on what dominance and submission is.

So the bottom line...forget the labels and just judge people by your standards.

Butch



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