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LookieNoNookie -> New camera (1/28/2014 4:13:28 PM)
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I got a new camera today. I got tired of pushing the "on" button 17 times to get the thing to turn on, only to find that when I wanted to turn it off, I ended up taking 16 photos....anyway, I wanted a Nikon because that's what I had....thinking that the 5 batteries I'd (recently) purchased would slip right in.
THAT didn't happen!
So (of course) I have to buy all fucking new batteries.
But, for half the price of my old one, I have one that now does 4 times the megapixels (I can see someone's actual DNA if I get within 7 inches of their face), I can take video for 12 hours with a 64 gb chip (which costs 50 bucks....my first hard drive computer had a 20 MEGABYTE hard drive, a green screen, and cost 6 grand....and I remember thinking (then)..."we're in the 27th century now...I can now travel through time...walk through walls")...I haven't read the entire owners manual yet but...I think it does holograms with laser accurate representations....they told me they'd give me a 10% discount because "new camera's are coming in next week" so I took the deal (probably missed out on the whole 3D modeling device that comes with the new camera's that actually CREATES my own personal Angelina Jolie with gel skin like feel).
I think I heard her say as I was leaving (with my spectacular deal) that these new camera's will plant your crops for you, harvest them, shuck the corn AND make you a smoothie (while you shower and imagine yourself on a beach in Havana).
As I was leaving, a photo realistic impression of Pamela Anderson actually walked me to my car and opened my car door and asked me if my seat was warm enough for my driving pleasure....
It's brand new gawdamned world.
Jeeeeeebus!!!!
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