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Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 12:56:38 PM

DaddyD88

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/29/2014
Status: offline

Hi All,

I have been experimenting with my fiancee as we both explore our own sexuality. It is clear that i am a Daddy/dom and enjoy the mental aspect of it. No sadism here, just enjoying the complete ownership.

I am looking for a mentor to guide me through the non-physical punishments and the overall evolution of my experiences.

I am clearly new to the site, so where should i look on this website for that?

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 3:55:29 PM

MzMinx

Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

Hey there

Welcome to Collarme and to your exploration

Have you been out to the real world of Bdsm and D/s events and munches?

I would recommend rather than looking for a single mentor, especially online. Get yourself out there to meet people with differing views and experiences. Ask specific questions on boards like this and look at the different answers you get from different people. Read non fiction books ... I believe there is a list on one of the FAQs here

Its often the diversity of view points, skills and knowledge that helps you understand what it is you are seeking and what skills will help you best in the journey you want to take. No one else can really be an expert in the relationship dynamic you want to build and that will suit you both, but it can be great to bounce ideas of others, share experiences and to learn skills and knowledge.

Mz Minx

(in reply to DaddyD88)

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 4:05:13 PM

DaddyD88

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/29/2014
Status: offline

Excellent advice. My fiancee has introduced me to the world of BDSM but i am ever fearful of crossing a line, hitting a trigger etc.

I will be looking at other areas for information and I have started reading up on as much as I can get my hands on. I didn't think the mentor idea was for me, but after discussing with my fiancee i decided i would look for one. I will keep my eyes open in the meantime.

It will be years before I consider myself as anything other than a novice, but hopefully worth the journey.

(in reply to MzMinx)

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 4:16:34 PM

MzMinx

Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
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in Buddhism .. there is a concept called begniners mind. Which refers to an attitude of always being open to experiences as if you know nothing, as there is never a time when there is not more to understand.
It sounds like you are approaching things with an open and thoughtful mind. Many of us so called experienced dominants could do well to remember this more often

Just always remember she has chosen you *smiles* .. and its you, she wants to lead her and explore with. Keep your confidence mixed with your open mind. I am sure you will find many enjoyable experiences and I think things work best when they come from your authentic self.

Is there a specific area you want mentoring in?

< Message edited by MzMinx -- 1/29/2014 4:18:52 PM >

(in reply to DaddyD88)

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 5:22:11 PM

DaddyD88

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/29/2014
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Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I think i need someone to guide me through better understanding the Daddy role. Obviously sexual topics will be discussed, but also the non-sexual. Understanding how to apply my desires in non-sexual ways that both assert my dominance and make her feel loved at the same time.

Like i said before i am reading a lot about it, but someone who has gone through it would be an invaluable sounding board.

(in reply to MzMinx)

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 5:25:47 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyD88
Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I think i need someone to guide me through better understanding the Daddy role. Obviously sexual topics will be discussed, but also the non-sexual. Understanding how to apply my desires in non-sexual ways that both assert my dominance and make her feel loved at the same time.

Like i said before i am reading a lot about it, but someone who has gone through it would be an invaluable sounding board.

Her point about online is a good one, though. For example, who the fuck am I? I could give you great advice, the best of the best, or so I might think. How would you know I have my head outside my ass?

Much better to meet people in relationships, whose relationships you respect, and ask advice from them. Actually, probably best to think of recruiting a relationship as a mentor, not just some dude. The little girl in the successful relationship might have a lot of wisdom to impart as well.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 5:26:20 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I suggest you read a lot and see who writes posts that resonate with you. When you find yourself frequently nodding at someone's posts and saying "Now that makes sense" a lot, then write that person and ask if they are okay with you asking questions of them.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 5:28:12 PM

DaddyD88

Posts: 8
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Redmagic- your comment is actually fairly brilliant. Not sure why i didnt think of that earlier.

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RE: Daddy Mentor - 1/29/2014 9:29:50 PM

MzMinx