A question for the domme/mistresses

A question for the domme/mistresses (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

Transbabyjenni -> A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 5:12:47 PM)
Are there any domme females that would ever consider taking in someone like me? I have never been able to find any even remotely interested. It's almost like either there is no one, or I'm just so undesirable that no one wants me. Any suggestions on how I can improve myself to be more desirable?

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 5:31:49 PM)
Based on your profile, you have two major strikes against you. The first is that you want to live as a baby "at least 75% of the time." Most women are looking for a relationship with an adult. We're not interested in being your mother, especially those of us who have children or who are caretakers of aging parents. This, alone, would be enough to disqualify you for most women, particularly since your profile gives the impression that you're a one-trick pony when it comes to kink. However, the fact that you are "looking for help with your transition" and indicate you want someone else to pay for your hormones and surgeries means you are probably never going to find a dominant female partner. You're looking for a sugar mama and the number of women who are going to be interested in that sort of situation are very few. Those who are interested have options and are unlikely to settle for catering to someone else's fetish. They will expect you to cater to their fetishes and put your own desires on the back burner.

Transbabyjenni -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 5:47:52 PM)
I understand. Since I will never be wanted I guess there's no reason to stay on this site. A freak like me has no right to be loved by anyone anyway. I wish you all happiness Goodbye...

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 5:50:40 PM)
[8\|] Aaaand cue the "poor unloved me" flounce. For fuck's sake...you don't need a domme, you need therapy.

RedMagic1 -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 5:54:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Transbabyjenni I understand. Since I will never be wanted I guess there's no reason to stay on this site. A freak like me has no right to be loved by anyone anyway. Being a "freak" isn't the point. Being selfish is. How can you make someone else's life better? Focus on that. Love doesn't just flow one direction.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 6:09:06 PM)
Congratulations, you just demonstrated Reason #3 why no one has shown any interest in you. SMDH. For the record, my girlfriend is a trans* woman. She is amazing, wonderful, and generous of spirit. Not a day goes by that I don't thank whatever Deities may exist that I met her. The difference between you and her is that she is a well-rounded and independent human who cares about me, about supporting me, and about making my life easier in any way she can. She doesn't expect me to support her financially or take care of her like an overgrown child. She's perfectly capable of doing that herself, including paying for her own HRT and surgery. You're the one who doesn't get it and you don't seem to want to get it. You just want a pity party. Well, that's not going to happen here. Sorry, not sorry. Go find a therapist who can help you with your self-esteem issues and help you improve yourself. Maybe once that happens you'll be more appealing to women. Maybe.

Transbabyjenni -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 6:27:36 PM)
Firstly I'm sorry, I don't care if you want to forgive me or not, as that outburst was uncalled for. I had a bit of an emotional moment and was very nasty to you. I don't want your pity. Sometimes I just get so sick of being alone. I never wanted the surgeries for free. I'm sorry if it seemed that way. As for what I can offer loyalty, love, and my heart, as those are really all I have. I understand that not everyone likes abdls it's just who I am. As for sounding greedy I'm sorry you got that impression. Although I am a rather needy person, I like to give way more than I get. I've gone out of my way to buy people I love gifts I could barely afford. I would be with my mistress/domme through thick and thin. Even it meant giving my life to protect theirs. Again I am sorry for getting upset. Hormones will do that to you.

LadyPact -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 6:29:35 PM)
OP, please don't talk to her like that. She's actually pretty smart and I enjoy having her around more than most. Dude, you've been on this site a whole month and a half. If I take your screen name into account, you've got not just one, but TWO fetishes that make it hard to find someone. Now you want to throw a tantrum? It's stuff like this that makes it so hard on ABs. (What is up with that, anyway?)

Transbabyjenni -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 6:33:39 PM)
Btw I pay for my hrt. And appointments to get them. I may be poor but still pay for what I can. Even if the surgeries are out of my reach financially. Would I ever actually ask for it to be paid for? Hell no! If I was offered to have it paid for that's a different story.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 6:35:59 PM)
Hormones? You're going to blame that load of bollocks on hormones?!?! I call bullshit. But that's hardly the point. Go back and read what everyone else has said in this thread. Then read it again and keep reading it until it sinks in. Then go get that therapy because fundamental self-improvement is where you need to start and that's not something you can do without help.

Transbabyjenni -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 6:46:43 PM)
I got angry and I was a bitch to you. Hormones are partially the reason but most I was a bit depressed at the time. Again I am really sorry I jumped at you like that.

DarkSteven -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 7:21:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Transbabyjenni I've gone out of my way to buy people I love gifts I could barely afford. Not that you asked my advice here, but in the book "The Five Languages of Love" (or something similar), gifts is one of the means to show love. It's an expensive one in your case. Could you try to do tasks instead?

LadyPact -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 7:27:03 PM)
Psssttt.... Steven, the "Five Love Languages."

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/29/2014 10:21:02 PM)
Transbabyjenni, I have no problem with people who are trans. I count some MtF and some FtoM trans people both among my personal friends and some I just see at kink events. What I'd have a problem with is: 1. Someone who wants to live as an AB and have me support her/him. Not gonna happen, I'm on a limited income myself. 2. Someone who's hinting at having someone else pay for the GRS surgery. Again, I myself am on a limited income and that is so not gonna happen. 3. Also, it's been made apparent in this thread that you are emotionally volatile with very little, if any, self-control..not anything I want to get myself involved with. 4. AND you seem to want to blame those outbursts on your hormones. I call BULLSHIT on that because I've had female hormones my entire life and I don't have outbursts like those you've displayed here. My hormones went totally ballistic at puberty and I felt as though I was losing my mind for a couple years but, still, I didn't act the way you did here. "BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!!!" as Monty Python would say. NBMG

Transbabyjenni -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/30/2014 12:28:53 AM)
I said that the hormones were a part of the reason. My levels have been off balance lately and I've been trying to balance them out. I see my obgyn in Orlando in feb to check on the progress of restablizing my estrogen levels. Also I don't want to be taken care of financially I can buy my own supplies and food, I want the cuddling and babying and bottle feeding etc. Will I do it all the time? No as it is impractical and I have to have my adult life and fun too. I have my bills I'm paying off myself. I want the holding and cuddling and maternal care that a mother give to her baby. Changing diapers not your thing? I am fully capable of changing them myself if it's not something you want to do.

inmate822210 -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/30/2014 12:56:47 AM)
I'm on a few drugs at the moment myself (at a hospital; not street drugs), but I think Sylvere nailed it off the bat. I have one of those odd, unique fetishes, too; however, who I meet has little to do with my actual fetishes vs. the person I have actual chemistry with. I have a rare conditions that causes my adrenal levels to spike at any given time. Imagine sitting at a movie theater, and your heart rates suddenly goes from 56 (on a beta blocker) to 147. That's as you plummet into severe hypotension and experience syncope. While this is happening, my brain is flooded with epinephrine and norepinephrine, and I'll be honest, my catecholamine levels there make me incredibly anxious and on edge. That said, I don't experience the sudden rage and emotional loss-of-control that you've exhibited OP. Your hormones and other things can lead you to the precipice, but as a human and an adult, you have to be able to control it. Period. There's something underlying there that needs immediate addressing. My condition is chronic and I get depressed as hell about it; doctors aren't even sure what to do to treat it. There are ups and downs, but never rage. And what you've displayed is also a cycle of abuse. Outburst---> calming ----> insincere apology (sorry, but it's not convincing beyond the fact that you seem to want to advance your directive still)--->period of building tension again----> outburst. I'd honestly be surprised if you don't have some abusive tendencies based on this post. How can you honestly get over being alone when you're only going to hurt whoever you meet? Instability has roots, and if you can mend those, then I think you'll be in a much better position to feel around for partners.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/30/2014 1:42:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Transbabyjenni As for what I can offer loyalty, love, and my heart, as those are really all I have. That's not enough to offer. Everyone can offer love. Sadly, love isn't enough to make a satisfying relationship. What I would want a partner to offer to me includes: - Stimulating conversation, on a variety of topics - Companionship - Willing to try new things with me, and have adventures - Does their share of the housework, home maintenance, running errands etc - Contributes financially to the household in some way (I accept that some times in a long term relationship one of us might temporarily be responsible for all of the money coming in, but I'd expect a partner who was both willing and able to work, and responsible with cash) - Able to make good decisions and think about the future - Genuinely interested in me - my well-being, my interests, my friends and family - Independent enough that they won't fall apart if I'm busy on a project for a couple of weeks - Shared hobbies or passions - Similar life goals and a bit of motivation to work towards them - Communication skills (i.e. not lashing out because they don't like an answer) - Emotional support, whether I've just had a rough day or I'm going through a major life problem - Willing to pick up the slack and care for me should I become sick or have a crisis - Trustworthiness. The kind of person I can trust with my money, my kids and my heart - Sense of humour - Sexual compatibility It would be a bonus if they: - Could cook - Had a useful skill like plumbing or car maintenance - Were gorgeous Do you see my point? Even if you are flat broke, you'd better have more to offer than your love and your kink. Your kink, unfortunately, is likely to hold you back in finding someone. Not many people want to take on an adult baby. If you just wanted the occasional weekend of play, I imagine it would be relatively simple to find someone who loved you enough to indulge. But 75% is going to be a deal breaker for most people. 25% of the time is not enough time for me to get everything I need from a partner. Looking after babies is hard work. It means all the housework, earning, errands and responsibility is on me. It's hard with an actual child, but real children gradually get more independent and the parents can have intimate relationships with other adults who help out and provide that adult stimulation. I'm not saying you shouldn't keep looking, but since you are so terrified of being alone, have you given serious consideration to whether you can find a compromise? Are you seeing a therapist during your transition? It's an emotional and confusing time for anyone, but it sounds like your interest in ABDL and your fear of being alone are additionally complicating things.

ThePrincessKali -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/30/2014 3:54:18 AM)
It's very hard to be happy in a relationship if you aren't happy with yourself. If I meet a guy who had very apparent issues and seemed severely depressed, I won't want to date him. Being with someone should make you feel good. And it doesn't seem like you're emotionally capable of making someone else happy right now.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/30/2014 4:28:38 AM)
You have been given some excellent advice, and I hope you calm down to the point you can take it in. It's abundantly clear from your profile and your posts in this thread that you need professional help. You don't love yourself or think you have much to offer, yet you want others to pity you. This is a nasty triad of emotional disorders that you seriously need to address. I've no doubt that being a trans person in this world is a hard way to go. It's a choice you made, and now you're going to have to stop blaming your gender issues and making them the reason why you are unlovable. You're going to have top stop blaming hormones for your bad behavior. You act like a spoiled child who thinks throwing a tantrum is appropriate b/c you're on meds. That sort of behavior is never appropriate in an adult, and I can see why you want to spend so much time as a baby. Please find a good therapist that can help you be the most that you can be. Everyone should love and accept themselves and you clearly don't. BTW: If you were nice and mature with those posing you would have got a great deal of support here. If you're alone, you might want to think about why that is.

Transbabyjenni -> RE: A question for the domme/mistresses (1/30/2014 5:08:19 AM)
Actually I never chose to identify as a girl. I always have. The only choice I made was to be true to myself. I have many faults yes. But I have many good traits as well. I have been in relationships before all of which I was thrown away like garbage. I never once yelled in anger at any one of my gfs. The way I see it is I'll be happy to be by your side and if a time comes when I am no longer wanted/needed I won't get mad and will accept the outcome. As for conversation I was a social outcast and never really had people to talk to so I can't guarantee anything. I am an awesome cook. Nothing makes me happier than someone complimenting my cooking. I couldn't do much to a car except change the oil and a tire. And your right I am a brat and I need to be broken and put in my place.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125