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Ignoring your partner. - 1/29/2014 10:56:49 PM

ARIES83

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Are there people here who practice some form of ignoring of their partner?
I'd be interested in hearing the thinking behind this kind of thing.

What is the goal of the ignoring?
When do you do it/ what instigates it?

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/29/2014 11:39:42 PM

Rule

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Some very rare natural slaves are an "I am a thing"-slave. I can imagine ignoring a thing, supposing that it meets her psychology.

Otherwise: No, in a relationship one relates to one another. If there is any ignoring, the relationship is seriously defunctional. Ignoring in that case is manipulative and a sign of narcissism.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 5:57:44 AM

theshytype

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My husband and I do not ignore each other. The closest we may get to it is if we need a breathing period, a time to piece together our thoughts so that they can be communicated in a clear and productive way. Even then, we'll verbally express our need for that break.

I don't see a purpose in ignoring the other person. If they've upset me, I want them to know it and what they did so not to do it again.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 7:37:50 AM

NuevaVida

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Twice in our five years he got angry to the point of not wanting to be around me for awhile. But that was just him needing his space. I didn't consider it being ignored.

I was ignored a lot when I was a kid and it was awful. Now if someone truly ignores me, I figure they don't want me in their life and I go away. I won't beg to be where I'm not wanted...I move on. My ex owner ignored me at times. It was heart wrenching, since he was my world. I don't live like that anymore.

But needing some space to clear ones mind is different. The times the Mister has done that, I go about my business until he's ready to talk again.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 1:01:37 PM

windchymes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Some very rare natural slaves are an "I am a thing"-slave. I can imagine ignoring a thing, supposing that it meets her psychology.

Otherwise: No, in a relationship one relates to one another. If there is any ignoring, the relationship is seriously defunctional. Ignoring in that case is manipulative and a sign of narcissism.

BINGO!!! Plus laziness, passive aggressionn and lacking communication skills.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 1:45:33 PM

ARIES83

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I'd appreciate it if people held on to their judgments and opinions for the moment.
I asked specifically for the thoughts and reasoning of people who use ignoring on a partner.

There is already a thread on ignoring that's filled with peoples 2cents on why they see it as a bad thing.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 2:18:49 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83
There is already a thread on ignoring that's filled with peoples 2cents on why they see it as a bad thing.

Then why bring up another one on the same subject??

This is a question that can't really be answered blindly and literally.
The circumstances giving reason for the ignoring is all important as well as the how it's done.

And yes, generally, it is a bad thing IMHO.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 3:12:05 PM

ARIES83

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quote:

Then why bring up another one on the same subject??

Because I wanted the thoughts and reasoning of the people doing the ignoring.

quote:

This is a question that can't really be answered blindly and literally.

It can't be answered by you, or anyone, unless you practice ignoring of your partner and have thoughts and reasoning about why your doing it.

quote:

The circumstances giving reason for the ignoring is all important as well as the how it's done.

I agree, that's why I asked when it's done and what instigates it...

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 1/30/2014 3:15:54 PM >

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 3:21:58 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

quote:

Then why bring up another one on the same subject??

Because I wanted the thoughts and reasoning of the people doing the ignoring.

quote:

This is a question that can't really be answered blindly and literally.

It can't be answered by you, or anyone, unless you practice ignoring of your partner and have thoughts and reasoning about why your doing it.

quote:

The circumstances giving reason for the ignoring is all important as well as the how it's done.

I agree, that's why I asked when it's done and what instigates it...

Isn't that prety much identical to the other thread??

And no, I don't practice the ignoring thing because it never yields anything positive.
And that's the reason most don't do it.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 3:25:51 PM

DesFIP

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I don't think any regular poster does practice this. Just disappearing for untold amounts of time.
Or if they do, that they would admit it.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 3:26:58 PM

FelineRanger

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I've heard of ignoring being used as a disciplinary tool in online forums and in r/l presentations. There are some gigantic caveats attached. Ignoring your sub for a specific period of time is only to be used as a last resort when they have repeatedly broken rules and talking or negotiation has apparently failed. Those who use this as a disciplinary measure also agree that this is a last resort before ending the relationship. I can see it having benefits as it also accords time for tempers to cool but I can't really see any other practical use.

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RE: Ignoring your partner. - 1/30/2014 4:49:39 PM

cloudboy

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I don't ignore, I withdraw -- when I do it it's usually out of anger. When angry, I avoid engagement until I can set myself on a more constructive course.

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