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Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 3:12:50 PM   
sassybtch


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		Is it normal for the cravings to get so bad you contemplate submitting to someone you know would be dangerous or stupid to submit to?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 3:25:35 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I wouldn't call it "normal" but it is common. Google "sub frenzy" and you should be able to find more information about it. If you have an active kink community where you live, you might consider volunteering to be a demo bottom to help take the edge off.

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
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Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 3:42:41 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		Well..is it normal to hook up with some idiot or some random jerk you meet because you are horny? it's it normal to eat a quart of ice cream or a dozen doughnuts because they taste good even though you know it is unhealthy?

I know many will tell you that you were weak or should "control" yourself...we all do stupid stuff, we all have weak moments...weak "sub" moments are no worse than other weak moments. You acknowledge your stupidity, resolve not to do it again and move on.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 3:55:17 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It sure isn't smart.

Join your local community. Make friends. Ask people to top you at play parties. Go home safe.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 4:13:03 PM   
LeatherBentOne51


Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline 		DON'T GIVE INTO YOUR CRAVINGS. Trust your gut feelings. You obviously don't trust yourself enough to keep yourself safe if you ask the question you are asking. You could get yourself in a world of trouble, especially since you sense this person might be unsafe. I think the "masturbation myth" that one will go blind if they masturbate was debunked many years ago. You should try it rather than put yourself in harm's way.

Please be safe.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 4:21:44 PM   
LeatherBentOne51


Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline 		After reading your profile and expecting you to be a naive teen, I find you well into adulthood, much to my surprise. Even more against any rationality I can think of, you go on to mention an experience with a "second Dom." You've got to be kidding here, and you're asking for advice regarding your safety? Have you been hiding under a rock?

The only advice I can give you is you ought to be wearing tempered-steel panties.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne51)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 5:55:01 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Well what you say you are looking for and the rest of the things in your profile are certainly at cross purposes. If you want men to contact you and spark your intellect, it isn't going to happen when your profile and journal read like a horny teenager's porn fantasies.

Lead with sex, attract jerks who are only interested in sex. Regardless of sub frenzy, if your kink thoughts are going to interfere with your ability to think clearly and act in ways to protect your own safety, then no, it isn't normal.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne51)
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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 6:27:31 PM   
SweetAnise


Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline 		I think the feelings are pretty normal. But as others have said join a local community where you can participate safely. Or you can try some online stuff (which I don't think is all that) but it is much safer than just jumping into a dangerous or harmful relationship that will hurt you in the end.

_____________________________

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."-Marianne Williamson




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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 7:09:27 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		It's not that hard for a female to find a reasonable safe hook up.

Go to pretty much any public play party/club and you can find someone to safely take the edge off your cravings in public where you will be much safer than doing anything in private.

(in reply to SweetAnise)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 1/31/2014 7:54:37 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sassybtch

Is it normal for the cravings to get so bad you contemplate submitting to someone you know would be dangerous or stupid to submit to?


no

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 5:41:43 AM   
Milesnmiles


Posts: 1349
Joined: 12/28/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Well..is it normal to hook up with some idiot or some random jerk you meet because you are horny? it's it normal to eat a quart of ice cream or a dozen doughnuts because they taste good even though you know it is unhealthy?

I know many will tell you that you were weak or should "control" yourself...we all do stupid stuff, we all have weak moments...weak "sub" moments are no worse than other weak moments. You acknowledge your stupidity, resolve not to do it again and move on.
I know what you're saying but when I read this, I was thinking that "a weak "sub" moment" could potentially be a whole worse than eating a dozen doughnuts.
Just saying .
;-)

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 5:50:55 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		No, it's not normal. Form your profile and journal entries I fear you have problems setting boundaries. Yes, subs get to have them.

It's great that you enjoy sex and porn. However watching all that porn when you don't have a partner is perhaps counter-productive.

It's also very clear that you are leading with your pussy and your hornyness. This is not how to find a quality person.

BTW: The pics of your many didoes is just plain gross. That you don't know that says reams about you. I strongly suggest you find a good therapist before you get permanently harmed by your immaturity.



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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 5:57:17 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sassybtch

Is it normal for the cravings to get so bad you contemplate submitting to someone you know would be dangerous or stupid to submit to?

It's extremely common for middle-aged women who get into kink for the first time in their lives. I believe they are more at-risk than 18-year-olds. The most horrible "oh my god how could you" stories that get posted to these boards are written by women in and around their forties. "I met my master here two months ago, we were long distance, but I flew for a date, it was the best sex of my life, so I quit my job and moved myself and my two kids to his town to be with him. Now we're here and almost homeless, and it turns out he has a wife. What do I do?"

Believe it or not, I am not really exaggerating.

So don't be that girl. Know what I mean? Find some safe way to take the edge off, either by paying safely, or going to the gym until you pass out, or whatever works for you.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 6:06:42 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		If you think hooking up with someone that is dangerous is stupid, then your question reads, "Is it normal to be stupid."

If "normal" is measured by what people in general typically do, then yes, it is normal to be stupid.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to sassybtch)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 6:37:25 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Okay. I looked at your profile. First thing I noticed were your pics. Damn, you are one lovely thing. If you shoot for Doms in their 40s and 50s, you'd have no end of interest.

Then I read your profile text. The first paragraph showed me an argumentative streak. The next two paragraphs show that you don't want a Dom, just a Top in the bedroom. Then you list your likes and don't-likes and are adamant about them.

The key is that you refuse to have play without penetration. Look, I've gone to parties alone, watched everyone else play, and then gone home alone feeling like crap. By refusing to play unless sex is part of it, you're forcing yourself into a form of chastity and are going horny-crazy because of it.

Look. You refuse to play without sex. And now you say you're about to put yourself at risk of an abusive relationship because of that rule.

Drop the rule. Play and have fun. And get a relationship when the right man comes along, not because you're about to fuck anyone.




_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 6:38:41 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		"Self-control is knowing yoy can but deciding you won't." :
http://sub-mission-sos.blogspot.com/2011/05/sub-frenzy-and-self-control.html?zx=3111b22820f143fe

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/06/sub-frenzy/

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=46216

http://safesubcenter.blogspot.com/2005/06/sub-frenzy.html

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

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RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 6:55:04 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Okay. I looked at your profile. First thing I noticed were your pics. Damn, you are one lovely thing. If you shoot for Doms in their 40s and 50s, you'd have no end of interest.................

Ok, you made me look. She is cute. And she has overwhelming cravings to do dangerous things . . . and she can put her ankles behind her ears! Damn, Kentucky - oh well que sera.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 8:12:53 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		I don't know about submitting, but I do know all about connecting with the wrong person because the itch gets too bad. I read your profile, and love the essay. I would say stick to your guns, but don't just give in because you 'need' it bad. You want it, you don't 'need' it. All that would happen if you threw caution to the wind is to most likely end up with precisely the types you want to avoid. Perved your pics, and if I weren't attached, Kentucky is a pretty nice place I hear...

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 9:13:14 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Believe me I understand where you are coming from. I am also looking for a way to stop my possible slow self destruction. It is moving closer even though I can see it clearly.

It seems each time my cravings overwhelm me I take two very small steps forward and only one back when I regain my senses. Often guilt and self conflict follow.

It makes no difference that what you or I consider stupid, abnormal, or even self destructive may be considered acceptable to others…they do not have to live with our minds sense of morality

The conflict of course comes from our deep seeded needs both sexual and mental against our upbringing and fears. These two parts of us need to be reconciled to get control of our lives.

How to do it… lots of advice here worth following and I am adding my solution I am working on. First be honest with yourself…. What do you really want and then do research to find out if you can get there safely. There are few cravings that cannot be satisfied in a safe physical manner. All that will be needed is to find someone that can help you fulfill your needs safely and at your own pace. Be sure to state your intentions and needs and limits plainly in your profile.

The above should take care of the physical needs and keep the fear manageable and sensible…but of course often the biggest obstacle is the conflict with our so called morals. I have not found a solution to this dilemma as yet. As some have said perhaps looking for others with your same needs will lessen the sense of isolation. You are not alone with your secret desires I can guarantee you that.

I wish you well and I think you have at least taken the first step towards a resolution to your problem.

Butch


_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Overwhelming cravings - 2/1/2014 3:05:48 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Comes a time when we all make stupid decisions...many times going into them hoping we don't get killed. I almost did...by a psycho sub...one time. Whose fault? Mine. Have I made the same mistake again? Nope.

I have to say I agree with Dark...you ARE a beautiful woman. your flexibility is titillating. BUT...you have a problem. you seem to be focused on almost a form of "bait and switch"---"look at these toys, look how I can get my legs up for deep penetration, look at my widespread thighs inviting you in...but don't think of fucking me." There are no pix of my toys on this site...but the ones I have played with on here know I have them. There are no pix of me in any so-called 'dominant' poses...but the ones who've played with/submitted to me know that I do them. There are no shots of me showing a large bulge in tight slacks...but the ones I've taken sexually know that it's there. What you do find are normal shots of me...a couple of them show me with things I enjoy: my truck and my bike. My words speak of who and what I am and anyone on here who has spoken with me knows that those words are true. When I say I am a sadist...tis true. I don't need to show toys to convince you...come play with me and find out. When I say I enjoy giving you pain and controlling you during sex in order to heighten your sensation and mine, I don't show pix of that...but talk to me, then play with me and find out. When I say I enjoy the vanilla part of the sex...the cuddling, the caressing, the warm-down...I don't show pix of that, I say it, mean it and do it. Come find out.

That's me. The ones who know me know that about me, whether they've played with me or not. I was that way when I started...and though I have continued to grow since then...that basic core is still there.

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 20
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