Enjoying Inflicting Pain

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pg4g -> Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/3/2014 10:57:49 AM)
Hey guys and girls, Ok, so we've asked the masochists about what they enjoy about receiving pain. Now perhaps we should turn the tables and hear the sadists' side of this: What do you get out of inflicting pain on others? A sense of being powerful? A release from the burdens of the norms of society? You enjoy seeing your masochist endure it? If so, why? Any others (I'm sure there are a LOT of reasons!) Thanks!

KnightofMists -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/3/2014 7:31:48 PM)
It's not all that complicated.... Simply put... It's fun! I try to not over think it.

DarkSteven -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/3/2014 7:35:47 PM)
It's fun. And also I love the idea that the woman is an instrument that I'm playing. I can drive her to the point where she strongly hatesloves what I'm doing and can barely take it but does NOT want it to stop. Or I can see how much I can arouse her. Or drive her into subspace. Or break her of a crappy attitude. Or just zap stress out of her.

Arturas -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/3/2014 8:07:05 PM)
I enjoy executing my sadistic power over her lovely helpless self. I enjoy the visual delight of seeing her scream and twitch helpless against her bindings. I enjoy the sight of freshly laid down marks on her lovely ass and the way I roughly take her anytime I wish over her ineffectual pleadings to stop.

FieryOpal -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/3/2014 11:37:43 PM)
I don't enjoy inflicting pain. I enjoy inflicting pleasure. The former requires a masochistic counterpart. The latter doesn't. Having said that, there is a certain degree of pain which can excite the senses and intensify sensation during sex. When I used to dig my fingernails into my partner's back, it wasn't because I was trying to cause him to feel pain, nor was I clawing to draw blood. I like to pull hair, but not yanking hard. It has more to do with the control factor than with trying to elicit a response of pain. It's possible I'm in semi-denial because I do like to use nipple clamps on my sub. If it's not tolerable for him, though, I don't insist on using them. Normally, I don't get into humiliation, but this one time is when I will taunt a sub whose nipples are too sensitive for clamps or clothespins to stop being such a wimp. My main rule of thumb is not to do or try anything on my sub that I wouldn't do or haven't tried or tested on myself.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 8:03:18 AM)
"A sense of being powerful?" I get that from winning the court battles, bar fights and conquering strange lands so I can take the indigenous people's property away. Oh, and BDSM type domination stuff. "A release from the burdens of the norms of society?" I am fortunate that as I write this, I am naked in my home office, 25 feet from a pool, 30 feet from my home dungeon and 5 feet from a slave that just served me up a great breakfast. I think I am already free of burdens and social norms. "You enjoy seeing your masochist endure it? If so, why?" Yes. I have deep empathy so I can get a good sense of what she feels. The more painful it is, not sexually stimulating but fucking ouch that hurts so bad it is making me cry type of pain, the greater the measure of devotion. If they have to overcome personal fears, even better! Don't get me wrong, I am also in the same arena as those that enjoy torturing a masochist because it gives pleasure. I don't need to break my slave down into a blithering ball of primal emotions every day. I love giving a good OTK spanking until she squirts in orgasmic bliss. But that isn't pain as much as it modifying pain thresholds for pleasure and sensation play. Seriously, spanking someone so they "endure" and orgasm is neither painful or a sacrifice. It touches my heart and slakes my sadistic lust when she truly suffers. I mean, jaw jittering with knees knocking in fear, lip quivering, raccoon eyes shedding mascara stained tears that are rolling down her cheeks from the physical pain and emotional turmoil it took to muster up the courage to do this. Then finally she screams a primal scream and burst out crying. It is that deep emotional crying that encompasses all the emotions at once. She is crying from fearful terror, pain, love, faith and joy all at once because they were released when she crossed the thresholds to come to me. Those truly selfless 'sacrifices' for my pleasure, that journey down a hard painful road to come be with me in my place, to be with my violent animal nature, those are the measure of sacrifice for me. Because it was for my pleasure, not her orgasm. That is a tangible measure that can be weighed in blood sweat and tears. Something you can put on a scale and say, "this proof is a measure of love, devotion and and trust in me." So if you ever see me look fondly at a puddle of piss on the floor under a torture device or see me smile if when someone shits themselves in fear or pain, I am smiling because it warms my heart to see a tangible measures of dedication.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 9:32:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pg4g What do you get out of inflicting pain on others? A sense of being powerful? A release from the burdens of the norms of society? You enjoy seeing your masochist endure it? If so, why? I released, at least internally, the burden of the norms of society many, many years ago—somewhere in my mid-teens, in fact. As for what I get out of inflicting pain, I don't just inflict it on "others." Being sadistic isn't really the point for me. Even though sadism is part of the picture, it's one part of a greater machine that is useless on its own without other surrounding parts to give it function and context. In other words, my sadism results from a synthesis of different components in my dominance. Once context is achieved through that balance of moving parts, however, I do enjoy inflicting pain, because I know what I have groveling before me is the intimate material I prefer to work with. It feels powerful, or much more accurately, it is a result of a certain kind of power. It's pleasurable for a sadistic psychology to watch another body and mind fold, cower, and tremble before yours, offering itself to your whims. It can be sexually arousing...or strictly confined to the locus of mental pleasure, depending upon the mood and reasons why the whip or rod is applied. And I, more often than not, enjoy inflicting pain—physical or otherwise—upon those who are not dyed-in-the-wool masochists. I can imbibe the pain more easily this way: it's "purer" and easier to inflict, and exciting because it's something they are suffering for me out of love and devotion, not a pain/pleasure duality. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter at all, for that tends to be a result of the conditioning over a period of time.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 10:44:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian <snip> And I, more often than not, enjoy inflicting pain—physical or otherwise—upon those who are not dyed-in-the-wool masochists. I can imbibe the pain more easily this way: it's "purer" and easier to inflict, and exciting because it's something they are suffering for me out of love and devotion, not a pain/pleasure duality. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter at all, for that tends to be a result of the conditioning over a period of time. In general, are masochists made, not born?

FieryOpal -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 10:57:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist .... I have deep empathy so I can get a good sense of what she feels. The more painful it is, not sexually stimulating but fucking ouch that hurts so bad it is making me cry type of pain, the greater the measure of devotion.... Don't get me wrong, I am also in the same arena as those that enjoy torturing a masochist because it gives pleasure. Those truly selfless 'sacrifices' for my pleasure,... Because it was for my pleasure, not her orgasm. That is a tangible measure that can be weighed in blood sweat and tears. Something you can put on a scale and say, "this proof is a measure of love, devotion and and trust in me." .... This is what I would like to try to understand, with whatever insights ResidentSadist, MarcEsadrian, or any other sado-masochistic Doms can lend. Is it more about the devotion aspect, to have your s-type so utterly devoted to you that she trusts you implicitly? Because I can see the potential for grave abuse in the hands of the wrong Dominant. A lot of what I hear from "no-limits" spouting slaves sets off alarm bells that any sadistic Dominant can manipulate their submissive with the "if you were truly devoted to me" card, much like so many already attempt (and succeed in doing) with the "if you were a true/real submissive," s/he would consent to give her/his Master or Mistress carte blanche to do whatever strikes their fancy. quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian .... It feels powerful, or much more accurately, it is a result of a certain kind of power. It's pleasurable for a sadistic psychology to watch another body and mind fold, cower, and tremble before yours, offering itself to your whims.... And I, more often than not, enjoy inflicting pain—physical or otherwise—upon those who are not dyed-in-the-wool masochists. I can imbibe the pain more easily this way: it's "purer" and easier to inflict, and exciting because it's something they are suffering for me out of love and devotion, not a pain/pleasure duality.... Neither of you impress me as being the kind of irresponsible Dom who would abuse this privilege, but there are others who are not so inclined, who are more self-serving or who lack empathy for the pain they are inflicting upon their sub, who may or may not be a "dyed-in-the-wool masochist" or into acts of degradation. I tend to want to err on the side of caution. When a sub is in subspace, can s/he really give informed consent when afterwards s/he may not even remember what had transpired? You would almost have to have a blanket non-consensual consent policy in place, it would seem to me. Pardon me if I am raising any points of complexity beyond the scope of this thread. [Edited for grammar]

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 11:13:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal Because I can see the potential for grave abuse in the hands of the wrong Dominant. A lot of what I hear from "no-limits" spouting slaves sends off alarm bells that any sadistic Dominant can manipulate their submissive with the "if you were truly devoted to me" card, much like so many already attempt (and succeed in doing) with the "if you were a true/real submissive," s/he would consent to give her/his Master or Mistress carte blanche to do whatever strikes their fancy. There is the potential for grave abuse, and I'm concerned that the many newbies coming into BDSM via shades of gray or porn are likely to hook up with a predator. It's one of the reason I started my blog, to provide information. As far as why I like inflicting pain, I enjoy the reaction, it gives me a power rush.

pg4g -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 11:42:51 AM)
I don't expect my answers would be traditional "sadism", but here goes... I find men enduring pain and torture to be the strongest and most attractive thing I have ever or will ever see. They impress me with their mental strength, their endurance, their ability to grit their teeth and bear through it. To not break. I like seeing them fight the pain. I want to show a man how strong he is. To surprise him by how much he can endure. That and I'm a switch, so baiting him to do the exact same to me is a real fun element of it.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 1:57:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal Neither of you impress me as being the kind of irresponsible Dom who would abuse this privilege, but there are others who are not so inclined, who are more self-serving or who lack empathy for the pain they are inflicting upon their sub, who may or may not be a "dyed-in-the-wool masochist" or into acts of degradation. I tend to want to err on the side of caution. When a sub is in subspace, can s/he really give informed consent when afterwards s/he may not even remember what had transpired? You would almost have to have a blanket non-consensual consent policy in place, it would seem to me. Pardon me if I am raising any points of complexity beyond the scope of this thread. Thank you, Opal, for that compliment. You bring up a very good point about the power the uninformed or unwary might lend to less than scrupulous players. They certainly are out there. It has always been a problem, but as Chatte points out, the concern seems to have particular resonance with the popularity of the 50 Shades novels and the crowd that follows, and on top of that, how popular and consumable BDSM has become, overall. As for "sub space" and the question of consent therein, well, I really have no idea how to answer that other than to say I've never had a problem in this vein. The endorphin and adrenaline rush affects people differently, yes, but never in my experience of bearing the whip or plying one have I seen anyone (myself included) "check out" from their ability to maintain awareness or invoke neocortical override. That said, yes, a blanket or meta consent is almost always mandatory in my world. It takes a fair amount of homework to get there on both sides and the process cannot be—or should not be—rushed. quote: Is it more about the devotion aspect, to have your s-type so utterly devoted to you that she trusts you implicitly? Absolutely. It's a combination of trust, understanding, and passion, not to mention sanity (or my interpretation if it, that is). I only proceed in-depth with those girls who have these qualities, meaning my roster of past slaves and submissives is often not as long as those of others. It's a very gradual process for me.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 2:08:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist .... I have deep empathy so I can get a good sense of what she feels. The more painful it is, not sexually stimulating but fucking ouch that hurts so bad it is making me cry type of pain, the greater the measure of devotion.... Don't get me wrong, I am also in the same arena as those that enjoy torturing a masochist because it gives pleasure. Those truly selfless 'sacrifices' for my pleasure,... Because it was for my pleasure, not her orgasm. That is a tangible measure that can be weighed in blood sweat and tears. Something you can put on a scale and say, "this proof is a measure of love, devotion and and trust in me." .... This is what I would like to try to understand, with whatever insights ResidentSadist, MarcEsadrian, or any other sado-masochistic Doms can lend. Is it more about the devotion aspect, to have your s-type so utterly devoted to you that she trusts you implicitly? Because I can see the potential for grave abuse in the hands of the wrong Dominant. A lot of what I hear from "no-limits" spouting slaves sets off alarm bells that any sadistic Dominant can manipulate their submissive with the "if you were truly devoted to me" card, much like so many already attempt (and succeed in doing) with the "if you were a true/real submissive," s/he would consent to give her/his Master or Mistress carte blanche to do whatever strikes their fancy. Who would give that carte blanche power to an abusive person? I think people automatically judge the measure of a Dominant by how they treats those that serve him, whether they are family with that old adage or not. And everyone has the power to leave if things get abusive. If people are so stupid that they put themselves in danger with BDSM, like dumb and dumber, the big concern should be if they are safe in real life. The laws of natural selection and dangers in life probably already weeded them out. And if you do date Darwin Award candidates, you deserve what you get. I don't care how big her tits were or how long his dong was. Those stupid old "what if" arguments always annoyed me. "What if they told the slave to rob a bank?" Fool, the slave would leave. "What if he asks you to chop off a finger?" I love that discussion in real life. Twice in my history I have had s-types in the crowd crying, convinced that a baby finger is a small price to pay for a perfect relationship. The girl in the crowd was ready to give "proof" she would obey if it would solidify her relationship and make it long lasting. I sell the concept real well, "Look at it through your Master's eyes." "You will be the girl that cut off her finger as proof, how could he ever lose faith in you?" I get slaves to recall all the heartaches they had searching, have them recount and relive all the pain, failure, the breakups . . . and then sell them on how it will all washed away by one moment in time on a cutting board to give the ultimate proof. Twice I have seen a girl in the crowd ready to do it. So I call my slave to the cutting block and she faithfully extends a finger, I raise the knife against protest from the crowd and whack, the blade comes down . . . she stands there unflinching. Mainly because I didn't chop it off. Then I explain that if you don't know whether your partner would permanently maim you or not, you are not cut out for TPE with them. So negotiating limits and boundaries in TPE, in the name of safety, is pointless. If you are so dumb you can't keep yourself safe, TPE probably isn't for you. If you have enough control issues or trust issues that you feel compelled to negotiate, TPE isn't for you. My car is my property, it does not negotiate with me when I tell it to turn right or stop. Neither will my slave. If I do not take good care of my car and keep it in good stead, it will break and I will lose it's service. Same with my slave. If I tell my car to fly, it won't. It is beyond the boundaries whether negotiated or not. When I bought my car, nowhere in the contract does it say it won't fly. If I ask my car to fly, I am the asshole. Same for my slave. However, a truly iconic slave once said, "with a running start Sir, I could give you 2 or 3 seconds of flight." And that is the spirit of TPE. Negotiating limits and boundaries for your own pleasure is a good D/s framework. "I like cake / you like cake / we shall buy a cake and eat it together for our mutual pleasure." For others, as property, suffering is not an option and the reward is not self pleasure but in the service itself. Obeying and pleasing your partner is more important than discomfort. The attitude is that they can afford to spare some discomfort because the relationship and their role in the relationship is more important. "Master likes cake, I shall toil in the kitchen and bake his favorite cake. When I serve him that home baked cake, he will be happy and we will share much joy together." As an owner, I also do things that are out of my comfort zone because I am the caretaker and it is my duty. I must rise to whatever is required to take proper care of her. I also put the relationship first. Because both of us respect the connection between us and the relationship is a priority, the relationship thrives. Now take all that emotional TPE stuff about the willingness to suffer, the connection between partners being a priority and add physical aspects by shoving it into the dungeon with a sadistic Master and a masochistic slave. No one's gonna' be happy 'till somebody is crying and/or bleeding.

Kana -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 2:25:00 PM)
quote: What do you get out of inflicting pain on others? It gives me Big Wood

Runningkc -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 3:23:28 PM)
I always feel significantly more edu-ma-cated after reading your posts ResidentSadist. Thank you. :-)

FieryOpal -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 5:37:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Who would give that carte blanche power to an abusive person? I think people automatically judge the measure of a Dominant by how they treats those that serve him, whether they are family with that old adage or not. And everyone has the power to leave if things get abusive. If people are so stupid that they put themselves in danger with BDSM, like dumb and dumber, the big concern should be if they are safe in real life.... Nobody in their right mind, you would think, but it does happen in vanilla life and in BDSM circles alike. There are wolves in sheep's clothing, or wolves in cuddly-tear-bear clothing, who don't hold themselves accountable to anyone else. If I didn't get this mixed up, you come from a Leatherman's tradition (?) where there is high protocol and a high standard of ethical conduct. You would seek a masochistic slave I presume, or recognize that bent. Your candor is appreciated and helped to fill in some blanks.

FieryOpal -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 5:47:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian As for "sub space" and the question of consent therein, well, I really have no idea how to answer that other than to say I've never had a problem in this vein. The endorphin and adrenaline rush affects people differently, yes, but never in my experience of bearing the whip or plying one have I seen anyone (myself included) "check out" from their ability to maintain awareness or invoke neocortical override. That said, yes, a blanket or meta consent is almost always mandatory in my world. It takes a fair amount of homework to get there on both sides and the process cannot be—or should not be—rushed. Me either, but I have heard some stories that sounded near amnesic or fugue-like. Thanks also, and to ChatteParfaitt earlier, too.

MisterP61 -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 8:05:42 PM)
Truthfully, it is not necessarily the actual inflicting of pain (though it is kind of fun [;)]), but, for Me, the bottoms reaction to it. When they do their best while on a Saint Andrews cross to get as far away from the implement at first, and then start getting into the rhythm/space and moving into it that gets Me going to My own little space.

MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/4/2014 11:41:00 PM)
Why do I like it? I'm not sure. I don't actually want to delve into that part of my psyche. Sometimes it's better to not know how sausage.

pg4g -> RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain (2/5/2014 12:57:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel Why do I like it? I'm not sure. I don't actually want to delve into that part of my psyche. Sometimes it's better to not know how sausage. I actually felt the exact opposite. By nature I'm a protector. I look after and protect people. It bothered me greatly that I felt like I did until I worked out what I liked about it - building up someone by showing them how strong they can endure. With that, I realized there was no conflict. It was extremely important to me to work this out before I could accept that part of myself.

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