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Nervous Sub Husband - 2/6/2014 2:58:15 AM

StrongHubby

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/6/2014
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Hello,

I am 29 year old British guy living overseas with my 37 year old wife and our children.

After we were married I introduced my wife to some BDSM toys, we went shopping together and got a bit adventurous. Then my wife started to take it more seriously then me and I backed off completely.

We have decided together to rekindle the FLR between ourselves as I believe it would be good for our marriage and I know she really desires this. I work a high profile, high stress job whilst she is a housewife now so I feel that it would add some balance to our lifestyles.

She is very keen and has had me writing a contract and setting up for her to access my email and hold the money (although she still wants me to budget with her permission and save for the future).
I have to admit that I am both scared and excited. I don't want too much kink, especially because my pain thresholds are fairly low and I have hygiene issues (clean, clean, clean).

I would really appreciate any advice on the forum from people who live a discrete 24/7 FLR relationship.

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RE: Nervous Sub Husband - 2/6/2014 3:35:42 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hi there. Welcome to the forums!

The first thing I'd tell you is that there are two places FLRs can take place - in the bedroom and outside of it. The bit about the BDSM toys is entirely a bedroom thing. The other stuff such as her managing finances and having a contract, deals with the outside-the-bedroom stuff. Your apprehensions are partly based on mixing the two.

If you want info on the latter, look for Head of Household, Taken in Hand, and Domestic Discipline, and mentally switch the genders around. And you not liking pain is a good thing in those dynamics.

Welcome again!

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RE: Nervous Sub Husband - 2/6/2014 3:47:29 AM

StrongHubby

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/6/2014
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Thanks for the reply. I think you are right about the problem because of mixing the two. My wife thoroughly enjoys both aspects, I think she has seen one as an avenue into another.
I suspect I will become a regular on here asking for advice.

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RE: Nervous Sub Husband - 2/6/2014 3:57:37 AM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
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Welcome to the Forums! This is a great resource for information, and I am glad you are here. Read through some of the old threads by using the search function. I would bet some of the questions running through your mind have been asked at least once. You are not alone in this.
Have fun!

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RE: Nervous Sub Husband - 2/6/2014 4:12:43 AM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
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Hello and welcome to you both. Its nice to have you here, look around and see what this side is all about and hopefully join in. You have come to the right place to ask questions. Also very nice intro....glad to have you on board and hope to see some post from you.

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RE: Nervous Sub Husband - 2/6/2014 5:25:53 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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Welcome to the discussion side, Strong. We give great advice here, so please feel free to ask your questions.

I suggest filling out a BDSM checklist, if you haven't already done so. Also have some nice long talks about your expectations. Things like the level of pain you want to endure should be discussed and agreed upon, most especially in the beginning.

Although there are doms who like to push pain limits, I don't think it's a good idea straight out of the gate.

The main thing is good communication, and lots of it.

Hope this was helpful, CP

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RE: Nervous Sub Husband - 2/6/2014 5:32:56 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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Hi hubby, welcome to the forums. Like the others have said this is a great place to get to know people and get a lot of information.

Note to Jhen - it's usually considered bad form to side track someone elses intro with your search for a sub. But if you have something to discuss, by all means start a new thread on it. Oh and just a hint. Posting that you are looking for a sub is not a discussion, it's an ad. Much better left to the profile side.

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