DC Update: My Best Freudian Slip (Whiny)

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DC Update: My Best Freudian Slip (Whiny) - 2/7/2014 12:24:22 PM

dcnovice

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Dear Ones ---

Pecking out a text to Mom, apologizing for the radio silence of the past few days, I produced my best Freudian slip in years: “I’m sorry I’ve been out of tough.” And “out of tough” is exactly how I’ve felt for a while now. I’ll spare you a catalogue of my woes, which range from major medical concerns to the vending machine at work. I’ll just vent for a sec on the top two.

Chronic exhaustion tops the list. I honestly can’t recall when I last felt rested, and the needle’s long been past E on all fronts: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, professional. In the words of a favorite hymn, “I am tired. I am weak. I am worn.”

Close-to-chronic pain comes in second. Even with painkillers, my bottom is sore an awful lot, and sitting remains a challenge. I sometimes think, with rueful amusement, of how the monks I haven’t visited in way too long order their lives around worship. Mine, in contrast, is ordered around Percocet doses: Oh God, when did I take the last one again? Has it been four hours yet? Kathleen Norris, in her wonderful book Dakota, quotes a wise cancer patient who’s afraid pain will sour her disposition: “I hope I die before I turn into an old bitch.” I how just how she feels. Indeed, by that yardstick, I may have already outstayed my welcome!

Well, isn’t this an uplifting little epistle? Here I should weave in some hope or gratitude or a bit of God talk. But right now, I’m out of them too.

Thanks for listening. I’ll try to be cheerier next time.

Cheers,
DC

P.S. One consequence of being “out of tough” is that I’m also out of touch—which, of course, was what I’d meant to text in the first place. I’ve been appallingly remiss in answering cmails. If you’re one of the many kind folks I’ve yet to answer, please forgive me!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: DC Update: My Best Freudian Slip (Whiny) - 2/7/2014 1:56:30 PM

LafayetteLady

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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With all you are going through, I doubt anyone is upset about your less than timely responses.

I know it sound trite and cliche, but hang in there. You have been inspirational to so many of us, and I'm confident when I say we all keep you in our prayers, good thoughts, positive energy, whatever we each do.

(in reply to dcnovice)

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RE: DC Update: My Best Freudian Slip (Whiny) - 2/7/2014 2:37:34 PM

needlesandpins

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DC I don't think anyone will think it out of place that you've been 'out of tough'. You've been putting such a great fight up that it's understandable.

I hope it gets better very soon for you. Continued thoughts for strength and wellbeing as always.

needles xx

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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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RE: DC Update: My Best Freudian Slip (Whiny) - 2/7/2014 5:56:08 PM

MisterP61

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Joined: 10/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice
I may have already outstayed my welcome!

Well, isn’t this an uplifting little epistle? Here I should weave in some hope or gratitude or a bit of God talk. But right now, I’m out of them too.

Thanks for listening. I’ll try to be cheerier next time.

Pretty sure you have not outstayed your welcome. In fact I will go out on a limb and say we all want you around a lot longer.

Who says you also have to be "uplifting" all day long and all night long. With what you have gone through, you will go through highs and lows. Anyone who complains about it can, truthfully, just fuck off. You have more then earned your times to complain and not feel great.

Again, who says you have to be always cheery. Sorry that is not how real life works. Anyone who says you have to be, may have good intentions, but reality is you have gone through hell, and are still there, climbing your way out. Just watch for the signs of depression, those can be deadly, but normal ups and downs... no worries.

BTW you do have a cmail from Me. Nothing spectacular, just about where you and I both grew up.

< Message edited by MisterP61 -- 2/7/2014 6:06:25 PM >

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

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RE: DC Update: My Best Freudian Slip (Whiny) - 2/7/2014 8:44:45 PM

DomKen

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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FR
It's so easy to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I urge you to hang on. As long as there is hope that you will emerge from this fight on my friend, please.

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